Holidaying with a 13 month old - need some advice!

[Taurean]

I want some HONEST advice about holidaying with a 13 month old.

My DH and I love to travel. We travelled so much before I fell pregnant with DD - it was 'us'. Since we've had DD, we've been to the east coast for a wedding and to introduce DD to family and friends. It wasn't really a holiday as most of the time we were catching up with people.

We are thinking about going on a holiday in October when DD will be 13 months old. Half of the trip (about 5 days) will be with friends at a holiday house where we'll be swimming, snorkelling and fishing. It will be relaxing and we will love it but I'd really like a '****tails by the pool' kind of holiday as well so we are considering going to a different destination for 5 days after there on our own and staying at a resort.

Now, for the honesty, am I kidding myself thinking it will be a holiday? Is it just the same stuff but different location or will I feel a little more relaxed just being in a warm place with a nice pool and a bar What do you do with your crawling or walking toddler at a resort? We're not looking for kids clubs either, just wondering how we relax (is it possible?!) while keeping DD happy and safe.

I want honesty and good advice guys, bring it on!

[Shanti]

I think any change in location is relaxing in itself!! Just breaking the grind of daily routine etc at home is a holiday kwim?? Yes it's a bit more challenging travelling with a young child, you have to be more prepared than you ever were when it was just the two of you but it's really not that much harder. If you want to go away, then do it!!

We took our DD away in Dec to Fiji, at the time she was only 10.5mths old, only crawling at that stage so that was easy as she wasn't walking yet, but still very much a velcro bub as she couldn't walk then!! BUT, we had a wonderful time and couldn't imagine not going away without her! We had a fantastic time and it was relaxing..... mind you, we always had someone holding her as in Fiji they LOVE babies and want to carry them and take them off you so we didnt mind one bit hehe
One night we had the hotel nanny mind her (got a great recommendation from another happy guest who had used her!!) and they are Fijian mothers themselves so we felt safe with her, and we could go for dinner that night alone!
you will manage.

Good luck and have fun!!!

[meow]

just wondering how we relax (is it possible?!) while keeping DD happy and safe.

You take turns

[~Trish~]

It will still be relaxing, just different to pre-baby days . We went on our first family holiday to Palm Cove when DS1 was 11 months old. It was great to get away from everything. We could sit by the pool while he had his naps (we brought the baby monitor and were only a few steps away from the door ) and when he was awake we had fun letting him play in the sand at the beach.

[Just Me]

My general advice for holidaying with kids:

We have found the secret to enjoyable holidays is doing activities that are kid friendly and age appropriate most of the time. Holidays where we go places and have to keep them in the pram most of the time don't work for us. They get cross and cranky about being made to sit still all day, they don't burn off the energy they want and they don't get to explore. They get frustrated and in turn chuck tantrums and make the whole experience pretty unpleasant. If we do things that we know meet their needs, we find we all have a much better holiday.

The other advice is - research and plan before you go. I know it kills some of the holiday sponteneity, but knowing where you are going to eat dinner each night and having a booking can make such a big difference between eating at 6pm - 6.30pm when the kids are still reasonable or eating at 8pm when they will scream the restaurant down and make a miserable experience for everyone.

If there is a buffet breakfast available as part of the package - go for it! It makes getting up in the mornings so much quicker and easier. You get up when your kids do, go down for b'fast already dressed and you can head out from there. There is usually fruit available which is great since we always seem to have lots of trouble fitting fresh fruit into our holidays (we tend to eat out the whole time because I am on holidays and think I shouldn't have to cook). We love our buffet breakfasts on holidays.

Your DD is still quite little and I guess it depends whether she sleeps in the pram for you depending on what you can do. She is also still at the stage where she is probably happy to be with you and not so concerned about where you are. So much depends on her temperament though. If she is likely to be making a bee line for the pool the whole time and won't sleep anywhere but her bed, it might end up being a lot of work and more stressful, but if she happily sits and plays and will sleep in her pram, then you might get away with it and have a great time. You know your own baby best so you have the best idea of what she can cope with.

All else failiing, go and see. You may need to be prepared to do things a bit differently, but you can make it work and still have a great holiday.

I don't know if that made much sense but I hope it did.

We are heading off to Sydney for 8 days in September and are so excited. We are staying in the CBD and have planned very busy days but very quiet nights (room service has been a life saver on many of our holidays in the last couple of years ) It is not how we would have done Sydney kid-free, but there are a whole heap of different kinds of adventures we can have with kids. The theatre and night life will be there when our kids have grown up, we only have them on holidays now for a little while when they are young. Having said that, my parents are planning on flying down for a night so they can babysit for us and we can go out to dinner

Hope you have a great holiday

[~Kim~]

The term 'relaxing' takes on a different meaning when you have someone to run after.
So far my DS has been to North Qld, Melbourne, an NT holiday and many many trips to Sydney.
It won't be like you were used to when it was just the two of you. TBH it took DH and I a while to get used to that. Him because I expected the duties to be shared and me because he didn't expect to have to share any duties. Lay out some ground rules between you two so you both know what to expect when it comes to both getting time out, be it together or individually.
Remember a little person can't always 'go with the flow' so any holiday brings some unsettledness from bub.
Get her used to the water before your trip so you don't spend the whole holdiay stressing if she hates it.

ummm that's all I can think of ATM.

[PollyA]

Hey,
I think it still feels like a holiday, especially as you have your partner around all the time so you can share parenting duties more. The tips for enjoyiing area really just to be flexible. Not too many "must be here by this time" so ****tails by the pool sounds awesome.
If you manage to relax your DD will hopefully pick up on it and relax too. Sleep might be weird so just ride the wave.
At 13 months you're still your bubs favourite toy. Books are always good.
I look forward to hearing how wonderufl your trip was!

[Taurean]

Thanks so much for all your advice girls! I'm starting to think it will be brilliant even if it is VERY different to our pre-DD holidays I've phoned a couple of resorts in Broome today and a couple have said you can request an apartment by the pool so then we can relax (with our monitor) while DD sleeps. I had already thought about that but that was good advice for others reading Trish!

I've actually found a great deal on a stunning pool villa at a new complex at Cable Beach. The private pool is fully fenced with security gate and all but do you guys think I'd stress more than relax? In saying that, I hardly take my eyes of DD so between DH and I, I'm sure we'd be fine. The gate to the pool would always be checked by one of us. The alfresco looks great too, good for DD to cruise around easily from inside to out. It's fully self contained which means we'd probably need to hire a car for at least one day to do a decent grocery shop for the 5 days but that's not a real drama.

JM - I love the idea of not cooking at all but I think I'll have to go self contained as that may be my winning card when I present the offer to DH tonight, LOL.

Hmmmm my plan is coming together...

Any more advice would be welcome!

[~Kim~]

That sounds fantastic!!

Might have to PM you for the spot....

[Just Me]

Will you get there by driving or flying? If you drive, you can pack a ride on for DD to play with which if there are good footpaths and gardens around the resort will keep her happy for hours. And things like buckets and spades for the beach are also lots of fun. If you are flying, you can probably see about borrowing some from the resort. I always pack an assortment of toys and I set them up in our room so if we are having some quiet time in our room, the kids have plenty to do.

Also, I don't know what they have out in Broome, but we are flying to Sydney, so I am planning on doing an online shop for Coles before we go to Sydney so I can have nappies, wipes, some fruit and other snacks that take up too much room in our luggage delivered to our hotel when we arrive so that I don't have to waste any of my holiday grocery shopping but I still have what I need

[Taurean]

Kim - it's 'The Pearle (of Cable Beach)'. Great rates from Sunday to Thursday

JM - AWESOME advice!! You have so many good ideas! DD's bike is the Little Tikes one so it collapses really well! We'll definitely take it, thanks for the tip! The home delivery of groceries is another amazing idea but I've checked both Woolies and Coles in Broome and neither do home delivery yet - boo!! Oh well, maybe they'll introduce it before we get there

[~Kim~]

Thanks hun!

[amberj]

I have to put a vote in the "I find holidays with kids difficult" camp, but this is probably mainly because we just came back from a weekend away with DS (just over 2), and I did NOT find it particularly relaxing. We went to the States when DS was 13 months old, so I have experience travelling with kids at that age too.

Its not that its not still enjoyable or worth going, because it is. As others have said, the change of scenery is great and its nice to relax during their naps and not be home where you see the twenty trillion things that you *should* be doing. And kids open your eyes to things you would never have seen before, and you delight in their view of the world and their reactions too. So there are definately good things.

But its very different from pre-baby holidays and I guess you just need to try to know what to expect so you can adjust yourself. For one thing, there are no sleep ins. I know this is part of daily life, but for some reason it is far more difficult on holidays. There are no restaurant meals unless your LO is really good in a high-chair (my 2 year old is NOT), so its having a kitchenette and still cooking yourself. Your activities have to be geared around your LO's naps (unless they are one of those wonder-kids who sleep in the pram or anywhere else), and you have to not have too many ins and outs of the car because it makes them CRANKY. But neither can you just hang around your hotel room because that makes them stir crazy. Car trips or flights which used to be a time to relax and catch up with your partner are now about trying to control, placate and continously feed your child. A lot of time is spent in playgrounds (although your LO may be a little too young for you to do this).

I guess on the whole, my previous experiences of holidays have been quite selfish- as holidays tend to be- its all about recharging yourself. But life with a child is an extended, unrelenting exercise in selflessness. And on holidays you REALLY feel this difference in a way you've adjusted to in daily life. Its not that kids are that much harder on holidays or travelling with them is hugely difficult (apart from the logistics of carrying half the house with you!), its just that you need to keep really giving at a time when you just want to relax.

So in future, I know that I need to look at holidays as a break from daily routine/ work and scenery and a chance to do new things with my little family. Relaxing and rejuvinating is something I need to, somehow, fit into normal life.

It gets easier when they get older, right.....? Please? (sorry for the negative tone, I am just a bit worn out from our holiday and probably used this as an excuse to vent- apologies for hijaking!)

[bubno.3]

AmberJ:

Im with you on that it really not a holiday like we know it pre baby days BUT if you plan a trip with your kids yes you must be able to be flexible!

WE my DH and i and kids DSS18 DSS15 DS 10 DS 18mth (at the time) went on a road trip to the NT from Melbourne .... me NEVER again will i agree to do that with camping involved with a toddler, or driving all the way . Now thats not because im a princess and need all my mod cons but it at times was a nightmare especially when in was stinking hot ..... YOU need to be aware that the 'precious' pram you spent and arm and leg on lol will get drenched to keep you toddler entertained and not to HOT.

Next family holiday will be a self contained unit next to a pool bar resort type thing ... so yes you can still swim and relax and leave the child in doors if need be perfect!


However i do know that the P&O cruises like some resorts do KIDS ROOM and Babysitting which would be very handy and i think it can be a whole afternoon thing as well.

I think it is up to the individual couple and how they share the responsibilities with LO .....

Perfect holiday : GO ALONE if you are lucky enough to have family/friends/ babysitter to have them for a week

[Just Me]

I have to put a vote in the "I find holidays with kids difficult" camp, but this is probably mainly because we just came back from a weekend away with DS (just over 2), and I did NOT find it particularly relaxing. We went to the States when DS was 13 months old, so I have experience travelling with kids at that age too.

Its not that its not still enjoyable or worth going, because it is. As others have said, the change of scenery is great and its nice to relax during their naps and not be home where you see the twenty trillion things that you *should* be doing. And kids open your eyes to things you would never have seen before, and you delight in their view of the world and their reactions too. So there are definately good things.

But its very different from pre-baby holidays and I guess you just need to try to know what to expect so you can adjust yourself. For one thing, there are no sleep ins. I know this is part of daily life, but for some reason it is far more difficult on holidays. There are no restaurant meals unless your LO is really good in a high-chair (my 2 year old is NOT), so its having a kitchenette and still cooking yourself. Your activities have to be geared around your LO's naps (unless they are one of those wonder-kids who sleep in the pram or anywhere else), and you have to not have too many ins and outs of the car because it makes them CRANKY. But neither can you just hang around your hotel room because that makes them stir crazy. Car trips or flights which used to be a time to relax and catch up with your partner are now about trying to control, placate and continously feed your child. A lot of time is spent in playgrounds (although your LO may be a little too young for you to do this).

I guess on the whole, my previous experiences of holidays have been quite selfish- as holidays tend to be- its all about recharging yourself. But life with a child is an extended, unrelenting exercise in selflessness. And on holidays you REALLY feel this difference in a way you've adjusted to in daily life. Its not that kids are that much harder on holidays or travelling with them is hugely difficult (apart from the logistics of carrying half the house with you!), its just that you need to keep really giving at a time when you just want to relax.

So in future, I know that I need to look at holidays as a break from daily routine/ work and scenery and a chance to do new things with my little family. Relaxing and rejuvinating is something I need to, somehow, fit into normal life.

It gets easier when they get older, right.....? Please? (sorry for the negative tone, I am just a bit worn out from our holiday and probably used this as an excuse to vent- apologies for hijaking!)

I agree with what Amber says. We did a couple of holidays with our kids expecting things to be the same as before and it wasn't until we embraced the idea of making it about them and doing things that kept that happy that we really found we enjoyed holidays. I think our best holiday so far was to a resort on the Sunshine Coast last year. We had planned to go to the Gold Coast, but decided that theme parks was probably too much for them - they were too short to do most things and it would probably be a lot of them being stuck in the pram. We settled for the Sunshine Coast instead and were amazed by how much fun we had just doing things they liked.

My kids are best in the morning so we had a buffet b'fast at the resort whenever we were all up and dressed and headed straight out from there to make the most of the mornings. We did different things everyday - Strawberry picking, playing on the beach, Big Pineapple, Play Cafe, movies (we took them to see Ice Age 3 and it actually went really well even though they were only 2 & 1), Maze world, Aussie World. We only planned stuff until lunch time and after lunch we headed back to our room and put the kids to bed for an afternoon nap. DH and I had naps with them or watched a movie in our room so we still got our chill time and then we went and did the resort activities in the afternoon - sailing, swimming, beach play. After the afternoon activities we had baths (we had a spa so the kids thought it was the best thing ever) and went to dinner. A couple of times we had room service because the kids were too tired to venture into public but mostly we ate at the hotel restaurant because they had buffets which was so good for the kids - kids ate free and there was enough variety to give them something of a balanced diet.

I tend to be very organised about our holidays now and plan it so that we all have a rest in the afternoon which kind of compensates for not sleeping in. DH has always been big on breakfast on holidays and loves his buffets. It is something we haven't had to compromise either - we have just tried to be smart about how we do it. We pick places designed for families and found the staff in the restaurant very accommodating and we weren't the only ones there with toddlers and babies. They put us in an area where it didn't matter if food went all over the floor and the kids being unsettled didn't cause too much disruption to other people. The staff can make such a big difference to your experience as well.

We love our holidays and we are starting to get used to doing them differently to how we did them in our pre baby days. In many ways our holidays are far more special and exciting now than they were when it was just us. Showing our kids new things is such a thrill and spending time together as a whole family is wonderful. The kids are thrilled enough that DH doesn't have to go to work for a few days. Even the plane ride on our upcoming holiday will be such an adventure. We have taken DH to the airport twice in the last week for work and the more we go, the more excited DD1 and DS are getting about going on a plane. They have both been on planes a few times before, but I don't think they really remember so it is really exciting this time.

We have taken the kids to Sydney twice before so we have been looking through our photos of our last trips (DD1 was 15 months and 2 years the last times) and looking at all the different things we can go and do while we are there. She is pretty excited.

This is a bit of a side issue, but I turn our photos from things like holidays into story books for my kids when they get home and I have done it since they were babies. I just use a photo editing program to print some simple text across the bottom of a photo and print them out at Harvey Norman and stick them into a small $2 photo album. These are their favourite books - encourages literacy, helps them with their re-telling skills and it is an easy record for them of things we have done. I have quite a collection now of little books about things that we do. As they get older, I will start getting them to tell me what text to write and let them take their own photos. Once we start talking about our holidays, they get out the holiday books from other holidays so we have plenty of time to talk about everything that is going to happen.

I guess that is another point - I am really into preparing kids (even when they are still small) for everything that is going to happen. Even if they don't really understand, I tell them what is going to happen, how it is going to happen. I find my kids cope really well with most things and I can see the difference when I don't prepare them beforehand. I am amazed what they can understand from such a young age as well. If they know what we are doing and what they need to do beforehand, everything generally goes smoothly (nothing is fool proof and there are times that things flop still but it does make a huge difference overall).

[Taurean]

More awesome advice! It just keeps on coming!!

Amberj - no probs hon, vent away! Everything you've said makes perfect sense and I'd (surprisingly) thought of a lot of your points already. We had two weeks on the east coast in April (Vic and QLD) and although I had fun, I was a bit let down when we returned home. It wasn't really a holiday but that was partly due to the things we did and things I'd planned for us without considering how DD would fit in. She actually coped surprisingly well but I just felt a little let down. I think I'd secretly hoped it would be like the 'old days' and it wasn't, far from it.

In saying that, we did eat out most of the time and DD was brilliant. We spent a day at Sea World (and had a ball!) and Australia Zoo. I got to enjoy quite a few wines and several spa baths (on my own AND with DD) so all in all it was pretty good, just different.

I think that experience has helped me prepare for this next holiday. My favourite part of our first holiday with DD was the few days we spent in a stunning apartment in Caloundra. I felt quite relaxed and all three of really enjoyed our time there. That's why I've opted for a self contained apartment for this holiday. We can still go out for lunch or dinner if we choose (DD often joins us for dinner but we go out later so she sleeps in her pram) but we can easily stay in if that's easier. The place we've chosen has it's own private 8mtr plunge pool and alfresco area (the pool is fully fenced) so there is lots of room for DD to explore and we can relax by or in the pool while she sleeps. We can both enjoy a few drinks during the day and evening also as we will either stay in or walk out for lunch or dinner. That also takes away the problem of driving too much as we won't have a car. The place we are going to stay at is a 15 minute walk to Cable Beach so we'll get exercise and it will entertain DD at the same time. I think all the swimming and exploring a new place should help to enterain her and wear her out, hopefully!

We are also taking your advice JM and will take her trike so she can ride around too. I LOVE that idea!

I definitely have different expectations this time round and our trip in April was a good test run really. All your comments girls have been great too, it's made me think about it differently and I think we can still have a fun time and relax a little bit.

The only problem I have is the apartment doesn't have a bath. And I'm not thinking about DD, I want a bath!! Boohoo! Oh well, I guess the shower will have to do for me and I just spoke to the resort and they will supply baby baths to go on the floor of the shower for kids. If only they had a big adult sized bath, it would be 110% perfect then!!