After being a SAHM/WAHM I've just started working 2 days a week about 4 weeks ago. I found a FDC mum I think is great and has similar attitudes to me and seems heaps of fun. My sister is able to look after my 21mos DS 1 of the 2 days @work, while he goes to this FDC, with his cousin, on the other day.
He used to be the most confident little boy. While other kids stayed close to their mums I'd have to constantly be watching him coz he'd wander off without a glance back to check where mum was. Since I've been going to work he's gotten veeery clingy and wont let me out of his sight long before calling/looking for me. Even if I duck off to the shops he cries. He doesn't even want DH - who has always seemed to be his 'favourite' to put him to bed. DH has had to go away to work for 1-2weeks a couple of times in the couple months before I started work and that started him wanting me to put him to bed, but the rest is quite new.
He is, however, very happy to spend the day at my sisters without even a 2nd look as I head out the door. At FDC though he cries as soon as we pull up to the house. I don't think there's any issues there because he seems really happy and comfortable when I arrive.
I know kids will most often cry, especially at the start, when they start DC and are otherwise happy for the rest of the day, so that doesn't bother me too much, but the clingy-ness has me wondering if I should be doing something to reassure him in some other way? Any ideas? Is this just part of him learning that while, yes, mum can go away she'll always come back??? TIA for your help.
Every child handles childcare differently. This is pretty normal, and will probably settle down. For now, the best things you can do are to be there for him when he needs you (don't try to toughen him up or anything) and keep things as predictable as possible. Make sure you are always saying goodbye, telling him where you're going, and when you'll be back.
When it comes to drop-off, pleeeeeeeeeease take the "rip the bandaid off" approach. Make separation as quick as possible, and get out of sight as fast as you can. It may feel horrible for you, but it is SO much better than the prolonged anxiety of a longer and drawn out drop off. I've handled a few in my time.
5 weeks to settle in to childcare, is about the average, I reckon. Given that he's in two different situations, I wouldn't be surprised if it's a little bit longer. But it will settle down. Just be there for him.
Thanks for the advice again Audax. I feel like I'm doing most of that so I'm feeling a little more reassured. We'll keep going and see how it plays out.
My social toddler turned clingy after Daycare
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