I have become a screaming monster :(

[sirenz]

So after grocery shopping today with my ds, I suddenly discovered I have become one of those mothers that yells in the supermarket

I am so dissapointed in myself, I always said to myself that I would never do that to my son, but OMG he was sooo friggin naughty today, I was ready to burst into tears

He just keeps running away, he screams and kicks when I try to put him in the trolley, he keeps grabbing the vegetables and taking a bite out of them .. what can I do?? Please help me, I don't want to yell at him anymore. HE JUST WON'T LISTEN TO ME I feel absolutely horrible for yelling at him as its not who I am, but I am just so damn frustrated with him not listening..

He does it all the time (at home too, he never listens and I have to resort to raising my voice before he will pay attention) and i'm sure it is normal for his age, but I need help with how to deal with it in other ways rather than yelling

Please tell me its not going to last long, I am at my last tether and I'm scared i'm just going to burst into tears while out in public.

[Kamarine]

I completely understand. It's so frustrating when my toddler doesn't listen.
I hear it passes. (I hope)

Don't beat yourself up too much. You're not the only one to have done it. It can happen to us all.

[Vixstar]

Oh hun.........surely you have heard me yelling at my kids!!!!! I talk to my youngest and he can't hear me anymore! lol

Can you leave him with someone whilst you do the groceries or even order online...not sure where abouts you live??? Saves your time and energy, gives you a break, gives you power of the mind.

GBH

xxxx

[MrsFabuloso]

I could have written that post hun. I have two that won't listen until I am a screaming banshee I know how it feels and it's not great. If you knew me irl, you owuld know I am actually not a loud or bousterous person, so screaming at my children is so out of character for me, particularly in that I am a childcare worker and I am sooo patient with other people's kids! I hate that I can rationalise what other children do but when it's mine it all feels like it's so personal. I have no advice, sorry but just thought I'd let you know you're not alone. ]
And I'd like to hear what advice others have...

[willow5]

Sorry no advice here just I remember being the yelling mother with DS1&2 and don't want to do it with DS3, but sadly I don't think I've had much improvement with my patient side Don't be too hard on yourself, toddlers are soooo trying sometimes we are only human

Will start stalking threads like this to pick up any tips for myself

[Arimeh]

When DS was acting like that I just told him that I would never take him shopping again. He was old enough to understand what I was saying, and I tell him that if he's naughty then we're leaving. Straight out. I don't care if I leave groceries in the shopping trolley or whatever, I WILL walk out of there and just go straight home.

He is a star performer at the supermarket now - never misbehaves. I guess he realises that its more fun going - than NOT going.

[Party-of-five]

no helpful advice i just want you to know your not alone somedays i just wanna cry after shopping

[sirenz]

thanks for your replies ladies, its good to know i'm not alone.. i'm just so mentally exhausted EVERY SINGLE DAY lately from yelling and i'm so over it. I hate hearing kids getting yelled at, so imagine how my son feels when i'm the one yelling it breaks my heart.

I like the idea of just leaving the shops, i think i might try that next time..

It makes it hard too because I don't like to take my eyes off ds when he is walking around with me (i'm so paranoid someone will snatch him up and run away with him), so its hard to concetrate on grocery shopping and what he is doing at the same time. I just wish I understood properly WHY are they so naughty at this age??

[ss_storm]

would he listen to you if you made him his own little shopping list? You could cut out pictures during the week of a few things you need to get and it can be his job to find them and either carry them himself or put them in the trolley? Don't know if he is old enough to understand that but it may help?

[Jaycee]

Our boys are exactly the same age and my DS is exactly the same, he just won't listen, the only difference being he behaves quite well when out and about, but once we are home wow he's so different! It's like he changed overnight into a little devil child. I think it must just be an age thing. I hope they grow out of it soon!

[Bathsheba]

Two suggestions: Coles Online, and: know that you are not alone.

I became a screamer with my third child. Possibly it was because of my thyroid condition (makes me feel like I have constant PMT) possibly because this child just really knows how to push my buttons. I find that it helps to remind yourself that so many mums feel at a total loss about what to do too and that no one of any worth is judging you. Also, you know what? Don't feel pressured that you have a half full trolly and need to complete the shop and pay. Very few people would even notice if you just parked the trolly and walked out

Oh and also... if you can bite your tongue for the count of 10 the urge to scream often passes. I visualise flicking a switch... switching off the banshee mummy button

[Kezz]

I does get easier, my 2 eldest I dont seem to scream at them as much these days being 5 and 7, my 4 year old is still going through the not listening thing. He will be looking at you as if he is listening, but ask him a question and I get a blank look.... It drives me absoloutly insane that I want to pull out my hair.

[AwesomeFoursome]

My DS is exactly the same lately so I know how you feel. I feel like crying a number of times a day and night. I hope things improve for you soon.

[Tan2705]

My DS is the same *sigh* the running away thing is driving me batty - thinks it is all a big game but I suppose when you're 2 it is! Coles have this cute little mini trolleys now - perhaps give him a list with pictures or cut out the labels on old boxes of products you buy and put him in charge at over 2.5 yrs I reckon it might work... I tried with my DS but he's not quite ready, he did give it a read hot go till he spotted chocolate guess what the trolley is full of.. so he is in trolley seat - kicking and screaming and me trying my best not to yell whilst protecting his 3 month old brother from it all!

Here is to hoping the phase ends soon - or I will loose my voice!

[jaskie]

I think at some stage we all seem to find ourselves turning into a screaming monster. Especially on days when we are tired, busy and the kids push every button they can. You are definitely not alone

A friend on mine had a DD toddler that was completely out of control so she did a Positive Parenting course which was run by the local council, it only cost $20 which was for the workbook. The change in her DD within a few months was astounding. She became an absolute pleasure to be around and I have barely heard mum raise her voice since. I understand that many councils throughout Australia run this course. I have done the course and I can honestly say it is well worth it. If you are interested in something like this then I would start with contacting your local Maternal Health Nurses as they would know what is in your area.

I like ss_storms suggestion of the shopping list.

[Lulu]

When DS was acting like that I just told him that I would never take him shopping again. He was old enough to understand what I was saying, and I tell him that if he's naughty then we're leaving. Straight out. I don't care if I leave groceries in the shopping trolley or whatever, I WILL walk out of there and just go straight home.

I second, third and fourth that, it really works. Sometimes you only have to do it once and they geddit.

Beside that, if you can get someone to watch him for an hour whilst you shop on your own it's so much easier and less rushed.