Out of control!!! pls helpppppp

[*Sparklez*]

Not sure if this is the right place and i hope someone recognises my situaution and can help me out plssss I am at wits end and i have no more tatctics i can try with this whole thing...

My DS is 3 and a half yrs old and is the youngest of my three boys, My eldest two live with their dad and i currently dont have any contact with them due to their father and his ways.. (long story).. But my son has met them and they only recently lost contact..

My ds is wayyy out of control i mean to the point now i cant do anything at all no shopping, no visiting, no dinners, no visitors neither... Like I mean we cant even have visitors without him causing a scene...

If i take him shopping im constantly running after him, trying to get him to settle down and behave, he screams and causes a scene, chucks tantrums and everyone JUST STARES!!! which is even more frustrating...
At dinners he runs around the restaurants, throws himself on the floor and yells just a total nightmare... I am currently pregnant and its stressing me out completely and from chasing him constantly i am usually suffering from abdominal pain by the time its time to sleep... Im scared that i wil go into premature labour because of all of this..

At home he isnt settled neither, he climbs everything jumps over our railings on our stairs climbs up on the benches, jumps all over the lounges doesnt listen to a word i say he knows how to push me past the point that im over angry.. I dont hit him i dont think it would make a difference my mum says to give him a good belting but she hits him (without my permission) and it doesnt seem to help neither i dont wanna make it worse...

When at my inlaws my son is the only boy in his age bracket and is surrounded by girls and my son is the one who is blamed for the girls being hurt but i dont settle and let everyone see its all even not just my son... he loves going there but wont behave and now i have to show him if he doesnt behave we will leave... pffft he tthinks its a joke....

he talks in this baby voice and carries on and will repeat the words mum and dad continuously till you wanna scream, he takes over the tv and the only way you can get him to stop and settle you have to put a show on for him or its crazy...

I have cut out all sugar out of his diet and i only give him sweets on special occasions, I cook him almost three meals a day..

sorry for dragging on but pls if you know of anything plssss help me

[krysalyss]

I was thinking a diet issue. Sugar isn't actually the cause of diet related behavioural issues but preservatives and other sensitivities e.g. salicylates which can be naturally occurring in some healthy foods like fruit. Google fail safe diet for more info. If he has a sensitivity to something in his food then that should help. Big hugs though.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Aww firslty giant hun, it must be so very tiring.
A couple of questions for you:

1. Have you had him checked by a Dr
2. Do you live alone or with a current partner etc
3. When you say we will leave do you pick him up and leave?

I agree with krysalyss, sugar is not always the cause of these kinds of things but your doing a wonderful job trying to find the cause, some people would just say ahh thats him and not do anything.

I guess i would suggest maybe seeing a Dr or a paed, maybe asking the local MCHN if there is someone you could see.

Also if you make a threat about leaving if he doesn't behave then get up and leave, apologise to the people and say we must go.
If possible take him places he likes, tell him he needs to behave or we will leave, the minute he misbehaves you grab him and take him home. Once he realises he's not getting away with it and even the places he likes to go he might start to realise you mean business.

You may even find it could be something sensory, my friends son has sensory issues, he is easily overloaded and can't always control himself, there is a thread around here somewhere with some info, maybe check with some of the girls there and see if their children have similar issues.
I know my friends son has issues with speach in the matter of repeating things and talking like a baby!

GL hun, i've prob been no help at all, hope you get some answers.

[boobaloo]

have you taken him to a gp? maybe he needs to see someone to assess his behaviour?
that being said, my friends little boy was like this, and the dr told her she needs to engage him more, do more activities etc, and sure enough, he calmed down heaps.
i know how hard and frustrating it can be, hopefully it'll start to ease as he gets a bit older xo

[*Sparklez*]

OMg no any help is a VERY BIG HELP!!!

We havent actually taken him as yet cause everyone says that if we do dr's will just wanna put him on drugs etc..
Yeah me and his dad are together and he gives him just as much as a hard time as he does me... Maybe abit worse reallly..
Oh and we definently pick him up and leave and believe me its not without great effort we are now just wanting to stay home cause every outing is sooo exhausting..

I feel so bad for him i really do it makes me wanna cry cause he is sooo crazy at times and i dont wanna scream at him or get angry cause i fear thats all he sees me as and i hate that thought causehe is also very emotional.

I take him to play centres and out to parks and bike rides anything i think that would get him to be happy and behave i try... i really do.. When he does not behave i dont threaten him i do just grab him and go i dont give him chances anymore cause it doesnt work.. I warn him the night before to try and get him to be good for a little bit of a break for myself maybe a tad selfish but i am getting so tired lately i just want a tinee winee break lol

He has his good side and is the most beautiful little boy when he wants to be i promise that he goes to pre-school for stimulation and socialising but he even gives them a hard time he has his favourites there and sum not so much (teachers i mean)..

As for his diet i am definently going to look into that and see what else i can find and try as i just want my special little boy back..

P.s my SIL son is autistic and has adhd as well, and they behave very similar do you think this could be a link at all??

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I would suggest taking him to a Dr, you don't HAVE to give him drugs and not all Dr's are like that, i think if you can find a cause for the issues then you can look at natural methods to help control it or atleast it will give you more of an idea as to whats going on.
You may even like to see a naturopath, they could possibly help!

I hope it settles soon for you, sounds like your doing all the right things but it's prob best you get it all checked now b4 bubs comes along. You never know having a little sister might just calm him down.

[*Sparklez*]

Thanks i guess i shgould just go and see what they have to say... no matter how scared i am of hearing what they think.. I just want him to be happy..

[mgm]

amali*baby, don't be scared to go to more than one doctor/specialist for an opinion. hopefully you can get some tips that will assist with the behavioural issues, but if there are any underlying problems it would be good to find a doctor who you can trust and feel comfortable with. good luck

[Vixstar]

No advice to offer hun just sending you cyber hugs and support. I doubt any of us would cope any better than what you are now. Hope you get some answers / solutions etc

xxxx

[*Sparklez*]

thanks guys thanks for all the advise and support,

I had a meeting with his pre-school and the teachers are basically fed up with him to put it in a nice way, but luckily the owner is willing to help me out and bring in someone to help him out in concentrating etc...

I have booked an appointment with a peadiatrician named DR Micheal Deloughery in blacktown in which i used for my eldest two children for different reasons but i trust him and think this is the first step in helping my lil man..

Just wondering though is there a dietician i can see before the dr?
or does he refer me?

[feeb]

Hugs hun I hope you get some answers soon, sounds like you are trying so hard and are fighting a constant battle.

Ask GP about a health care plan as I am sure Dieticians would be on list where you get so many govt subsideised sessions a year, (we did this with speech path at suggestion of our pead).

I hope things improve for you.

[Livinthedream]

P.s my SIL son is autistic and has adhd as well, and they behave very similar do you think this could be a link at all??

From what I have read/heard, yes. They say that with these types of kids early intervention/therapys are REALLY important. As much as you just want your DS to behave like a "normal" kid, the sooner you can find the triggers/reasons for these behaviours, the better off you will all be. Best of luck. xx

[*Sparklez*]

Thanks guys

Yeah i will do that today, i think my SIL has a dietician for her son so i might ask for the number and just have a chat..

I will keep you updated as too what diagnosis or if anything changes but thanks heaps!!
Its so good to be able to tell someone without them blaming you to start with..

Thank u

[*Sparklez*]

hey guys just thought i would add an update to my lil mans progress well as some may have noticed from my posts last week my son has been removed from his childcare due to what happened there.. so much for their assistance that they said they were gunna give.

My son has an appointment tomorrow with a paediatrician in campsie named dr mansour.. has anyone heard of him??
apparently ive heard rave reviews about him..
we practically had to beg the reception for a place tomorrow srsly lol

so we will be one step closer to sorting out his issues if any and getting him back on the road to polite peacefulness to say the least lol

[mgm]

that's great that you have an appointment. good luck, let us know how you go.

[Lulu]

Im glad you stopped listening to those people who said the dr will put him on drugs

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

GL today, hopefully this is a step in the right direction to get some answers for you guys.
Hopefully they can suggest a dietician, maybe even a naturopath can help you our of you want some more natural remedies to go along with the medical advice.