Palmer is generally a very well behaved child, apart from the odd tantrum and hitting.
When she does/touches something she isn't meant to, isn't safe for her or hits someone (she's never hit anyone except me and Kim) and we say "No!", she just laughs, every single time. And now when we do something she doesn't want, the little scamp says "NO!"
Any tips on getting her to understand?
It's not out of control, but I can see it becomming a problem as she get older.
If you say "Put it down" when she picks something up, most of the time she will.
She understands "Be Gentle"...but sometimes chooses to ignore it. Like with the cat, for example, who gives her a claw-free swipe as a warning. That works to deter her.
Just as I am typing this she has made a beeline for our vinyl collection and when Kim said "Palmer, No!" she turns around with a massive grin on her face.
She's a bright girl, has a good amoutn of words in her vocab, understands most things we say to her, but why does she be so defiant? I am clearly not up with the inner workings of the toddler mind!
You have just described my DS (15 months) to the letter. You can add biting for DS too sadly. I'm interested to see what others suggest too. I just tell him no/gentle etc and then distract him with something else. It is just a phase which they do pass.
DD does this too. Drives me NUTS but I think it's kind of amazing and cute too. Just watching that little brain decide that 'no' means 'do it more and see what happens'!! Watching her experiment with boundaries and her own will... but yes, sometimes (more depending on my state of mind) it's not so cute. ANYTHING I've said a firm 'no' to, she's 100 times more likely to do again - it's phenomenal. I really have to watch myself and carefully construct my response.
As you've noticed with your DD too, my DD responds heaps better if I just tell her what I DO want her to do. Instead of 'No, don't draw on the table', I say 'Hey look! Lets draw a flower on the paper!. Instead of 'No, don't run away from me at the shops' I say 'Lets hold hands and see if we can find some milk!'. She's far more keen to cooperate if she believes that I'm not stopping her from doing something, I'm including her in something that's more exciting.
"No, because..." is what I have always used. "Liebling, do not run around when Mamma has a hot drink. If you bump the drink it will spill and hurt someone." It is longer to say than "NO!" but he knows why I have said no so respects it more than a straight "no".
To add to Santosha, I find that distraction works well too. "Liebling, can you help me push the trolley and find the food?" That is better than "don't run off" because he is engaged with the shopping.
All else fails, I just say "meow" and DS stops what he is doing to play with the "cat". But Palmer may be a bit young for that.
My DD is 14months (today) And she too is incredibly defiant - Stand up on the coffee table if I tell her to hop down she goes "onoooooooo" or "go awayyyyyyyyyy"
I think it is just the age, or pushing the boundaries and working out what they can and can't do... It would be hard for my DD as she see's the older kids doing things she's not allowed to... It's a hard life beeing a bubba...
DD just passed this phase and I got past it by asking her to cooperate by offering an alternative. Instead of "no, don't climb on the dishwasher" It was "can you get me the plates please so we can put them away?" Like Santosha and Ladie Zaidie I offered an alternative. I found she responds better if i phrase it as a question too rather then a demand. It took a few weeks of hair pulling for me to figure it out but it worked for me. It is a phase of exploration and testing limits! I just made sure that I was cheerily praising her when she cooperated! By the way, DD will now find her clothes and shoes in the morning while I pack the nappy bag in the morning so she has something to do. Hope it goes smoother for you soon hun (and Liviam)!
I honestly can't remember when they start taking you seriously, my eldest are 16 & 19 but I can tell you that they stop again when they hit their teens lol
My 9 month old knows what NO means but also doesn't care. He crawled over to the computer chair today (for the 100th time) and pulled himself up to stand at it then turned around and looked at me and went "ha" so I know what you mean
So glad it's not just my toddler - I thought I had been doing something very wrong!
It's annoying sometimes when they are so defiant...especially becuase P gets SO much more defiant when she is tired, and by that point, I am usually tired too.
LOL
This thread make me laugh because it just describe children from 6mths onwards in my experience.
If you ever figure out how to make them listen please let me know, I am desperate here....
Gosh I'm glad I found this thread, for the record my DS (15 months) is exactly the same. I actually got a bit worried after our 12mth MCHN checkup when she asked me if he got upset when I told him off. I don't really tell him off, but when I try he just laughs at me and it becomes a game where he does it over and over while in fits of laughter, at least I know I'm not alone.
Whether they take it seriously or not is completely different to "when can they totally understand what "No" means"
My DD is 2.5 and it's only been in the past month I think that she actually completely understands what we mean when we say no, or stop or something like that.
I'm still waiting too. But it is very different for DD#1, she's a strange one. She'll argue with me when I'm in 100% agreeance with her, I'm just not using the same words she's using, so we wind up arguing with her that arguing with someone when they AGREE with you is a bad idea. Argh!
DD#2 is your stock standard toddler though. She's just going into bossy phase.
DD#2, to the cat: "You need to say meow now".
DD#2, when I ask her nicely to get a plate: "No, YOU go get me a plate"
DD#2 when told to vacate her sister's room: "No, is not DD#1's room. Is DD#2's room."
And of course she knows where everything is in this house and what it does, so if we so dare to tell her not to start peeling and cutting the potatoes after I said we're having mash for tea, whoa ... there's hell to pay. Because SHE is making us mashed potato tonight. SHE got out the chopping board, peeler, knife, potatoes, SHE is damn well going to cut them up.
Platinum Member. Love a friend xxx
When do they start taking you seriously?
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