Hi i am new to this site my Angel was born sleeping at 34 weeks on the 30/09/10 as my hubby goes back to work i am left sitting here thinking What next? This week allthough will be busy with my Angels funeral i just can't seem to get my head around the idea of life moving forward, having everthing for the next 3 years planned to now be left with the emptiness of not knowing.
I ask is it wrong for me to want to fall pregnant again soon?
It would just be nice to get some advice from someone that has gone through their own loss.
It's not wrong at all for you to want to be pregnant as soon as possible - I decided we would try again about five minutes after we were told our son had died. That's a bit fast, I'll admit, but it's very normal to have that feeling.
What next? That depends on you and how you deal with grief. I found trying to keep my head busy helped. I spent a lot of time online, writing about Ianto on my blog, looking up all the information I could about stillbirth and the causes, charities that deal with it (by the way, have you been in contact with the ACOCP? You should) and anything else I could think of. Other people deal with it differently. It's all up to you. I do urge you to spend some time here with us on bellybelly. We're all very friendly, and a lot (too many) of us know the pain of losing a child.
If you'd like to read my story (I found reading other stories helped me with my own grief) click on Ianto's name in my signature
It's now been two weeks since i was told there was no heart beat the time seems to go so quick friday is Angel's funeral and i find myself getting anxious friday will be the last time i can touch and see her it seems to make it all so final
reality has to set in i have to realise this has all happened and that on my due date i will not be getting my baby even though i do know this its like i still expect to wake up and for it all to be a dream.
i have had such a bad couple of days from having to deal with making all the arrangements to recieving photos from the hospital to then getting a phone call asking why i wasn't at my 36 week appointment. Just trying to find a dress to wear on friday was hard going from shop to shop trying on dresses having to look at my body over and over in them big mirrors to every dress making me look pregnant. I just want to lose that pregnant look instead of having that constant reminder of my lost Angel
I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow. Is Angel your child's name?
My son Leo died just after birth nearly 12 weeks ago. His birth story and my blog are in my signature below. I can't think of nything worse in life than the death of a child. I hope you had a lot of time with Angel and had photos and things. They will help as time goes on. We were in shock the first couple of weeks - we couldn't get warm. I had to keep lists about everything, especially when orgainising his funeral. I still feel incredibly fragile although I am getting better now. If you need to stay inside and cry, do so. I found tears and writing were the only thing that eases the pain. I hope you have a lot of support.
It must be so difficult for your husband going back to work already. Mine went back after 2 weeks. It was and still is difficult for him. For both of us, our tolerance for petty crap is zero, so office politics etc is harder to deal with. I've only just gone back to work today but won't be working a full day.
We're a great community here, so I hope you're able to find support here.
Yes Angel is her name born 5lbs 49.5cms
tomorro will be the first time i actually get to see her more than just her face peeking out thruogh the blanket she was wrapped in i can't wait to see her dressed in the little dress her daddy and i bought for her.
Thinking of you today as you embark on what must be one of the worst things a mother can go through.
All of your feelings are valid and please don't feel guilty for wanting another baby so soon.
bellybelly is a great place for advice or if you just need to vent the people here are just so supportive and we will all try to help in anyway we can.
Big hugs for you and your dh today. I'm sorry i can't give you any advice, but please know that we are here for you.-
Last edited by sirenz; October 15th, 2010 at 10:08 AM.
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I am so so sorry for your loss, I think all your feelings are completely normal x
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