Toddler peeing on the floor for attention :(

[cazoraz]

Lucy has been toilet trained (apart from nights) since March (2.5yrs), she's been really good and barely an accident...until now!

She has started peeing on the floor if she's not getting my attention, not anyone elses just mines. So for instance, if weve been playign together then I have to go do something with Coleman or whatever, she has an accident on the floor, just stands there and pees through whatever she's wearing!

At first I thought it was just an accident, but it has only happened after I've stopped paying attention to her, never when DH is looking after her if I'm at work, its driving me nuts!

She automatically tells us she's done it and asks ME to clean it up, thats how I figured its related to me. So I've been making DH clean it up and deal with it, and not reacting to it at all. Do you reckon thats the right thing to do? Any advice anyone? Anyone else's kid do the same thing?

Thanks
xxxCaz

[Trish]

Caz, yeah I think getting Dh to clean it up is that way to go Seriously though, maybe that is the right thing to do, this way she isn't getting your attention by doing that. They will all try to do things that distract you from the other child. Usually something norty because that gets more attention and quicker attention than something good IYKWIM. I'm sure that you are giving her plenty of 1 on 1. So other than that I have nothing to tell you other than she will grow out of it.

The question is when

[Kaydee]

I used to do this when i was little!! haha. once my mum asked me why i did it and my cheeky answer was "because i like to make mummy mad!". ah kids.

I think giving no attention to her (good or bad) when she does do it, and praising her when she goes to the toilet should be the right way to go. Ignore the bad behaviour, praise the good. I think maybe making Dh clean it up instead of yourself might be just ignoring the problem, and not really dealing with it. Maybe try cleaning her up with complete lack of any emotion at all. Dont even talk to her. I saw this on a child behaviour tv show the other week, and it worked a treat.

i hope this info helped. let us know how it goes. Good luck!!!

[anney]

Caz,
Yes our DD did the same thing for a few weeks some months ago. it was driving me bananas. It was just when she was not getting enough attention from me and jsut as you siad, did not do it for DH or my mum or childcare - just me. It is so frustrating. She just stopped doing it. At first I went mad at her then I would just clean it up without saying anything and that seemed to work best.

[Lut]

Caz,
our DD has been doing this for months now!
I'm at breaking point to be perfectly honest.
She is 3.5!!!
Very bright and extremely aware of EVERYTHING, but she does this TO ME!
She goes to 3 yo kinder 3 days a week (full days), and nothing!
Come home and she obviously saves it for me.
We tried everything. Reward, talking, punishing, retraining... ah...
When I ask her to go to the toilet, she refuses.
If we force her, she will go and do it on the floor beside the toilet! :eek:

So, we figure a child who has learnt to read at such an early age, should be aware of what she is doing (and obviously is), then she is also old enough to clean her own mess.
We won't clean up her mess... DH gives her the cleaning stuff and sets her to work. And until it's spotless, she has to clean it. Does that border on child slavery??

But we've run out of alternatives!
So I am no help to you, other than to say, you are not alone.

[cazoraz]

So, we figure a child who has learnt to read at such an early age, should be aware of what she is doing (and obviously is), then she is also old enough to clean her own mess.
We won't clean up her mess... DH gives her the cleaning stuff and sets her to work. And until it's spotless, she has to clean it. Does that border on child slavery??

Ooh good idea! She can clean up her own mess and see how she likes it!

Actually, she hasnt had an accident in the last 2days since I stopped paying any attention to it and just dealing iwth it matter-of-factually showing no emotion whatsoever. So fingers crossed!

[BellyBelly]

Marisa used to do this too, not so much now, but I think it's a way that they deal with their emotions at this age, especially with another sibling in the picture. Make sure you have plenty of one on one time with her, just do some mummy/daughter things regularly and I find alot of Marisa's less positive behaviours reduce when I do this. Also she thrives when she gets time away from Elijah. She loves him to bits, but she is in her element when she gets to stay at nanna's house and do lots of fun things, without the interruption of a little brother

Never underestimate having a conversation about it with them too. I would always ask Marisa, 'Why do you wee in your pants sweety? Why don't you use the toilet like big girls?' The more level-headed I deal with it, without going off my tree, I would also get a better response as she will see that she's not caused a commotion and we all get over it. If it becomes a big deal despite doing all these things, then you can always resort to incentives I guess, a sticker at the end of the day for big girls who use toilets.

[Lut]

Hi Kelly.
You're right about the less reaction the better (although this isn't all that easy to control when you know she is doing it intentionally! )
We tried to the incentives thing (we would reward her for going to the toilet with a treat or something) but we found she soon turned it into a big negotiation. She would demand payment up front, before budging to go to the toilet! :eek:
That just became waaaaaaaay stressful for us. It was doing our head in.

We currently have ticks and crosses on her calendar, enforced. We don't tie the tick to her toilet attendance per se, but we say an overall behaviour through her day. If we think she has been particularly bad behaved, she gets a cross. If she gets 4 ticks in a row (4 days of being ell behaved) she gets a reward.
Of course there is the little mstter of catching her climbing up on her bookshelf to get the calendar and try to give herself tick, when she should be having a nap!