I'd like him to sleep longer

[Cherished]

I'd like my 10 week old DS to sleep for longer periods during the night. A huge part of me thinks he will gradually sleep for longer as he grows but then I hear of lots of bubs even younger than DS who are only waking a couple of times or even once a night. DS will sleep anywhere from 2-5 hours (5 hours being rare) when he 1st goes down after his bath and feed but then will wake for feeding every 2-3 hours. I have thought that maybe he is waking because he is really hungry or maybe it's just because he is waking and not being able to go back to sleep or he is just used to being fed that often? He feeds well and then goes back down pretty easily too. So I'm posting in the gentle parenting section because we don't let him cry or go hungry just for the sake of stretching out feeds so is there any way to get him sleeping longer periods without putting him and us through stress?

[MummaSue]

He sounds pretty normal to me hun. My DD still wakes at least 3 hourly overnight for feeds. We co-sleep so that makes it easier to deal with. Do you co-sleep?

Sounds like you and he are doing a lovely job xxxx

[~Trish~]

Does he take a dummy? If so, have you tried giving him a dummy to settle him instead of feeding him? This worked really well with my DS1 and he started sleeping for long stretches pretty quickly. Don't worry, if he really was hungry he would let me know

[Lady-bug]

Sounds exactly like what our DS was like at his age. And just with time, the time between feeds got longer. The only suggestion I have is co-sleeping if you aren't already. Sounds like you are doing a great job.

[turtleschell]

He's so young still, he's probably genuinely hungry. Soon he will probably only wake about 3 times a night. Sounds like you are coping with the sleep deprivation so well, good on you for doing such a great job!

[Cherished]

Thanks for all of your replies and suggestions. We were co-sleeping until 8 weeks and now his cot is in our bedroom and he comes in our bed after his last feed as he settles better in our bed where we can hold his dummy in and his hands because he's a bit more alert after sleeping all night. Sometimes when he's woken before the 2 hours he will grunt a bit and if he's in our bed than we can again hold the dummy in and he'll grunt away a bit but I fall back to sleep so I don't know if he goes back or not lol maybe if we keep co sleeping all through the night rather than having him in his cot I can try the holding the dummy in when he wakes up and he might go back to sleep as Trish has suggested. If that works and he then gets used to going longer between feeds and having more sleep he can go back into the cot.... Thanks so much I think I've got a plan

[MummaSue]

Thanks so much I think I've got a plan

Let us know how you go!

[Cherished]

Just updating on how the sleep is going. I'm not really sure that there is much to report but I think I'm just sleeping better anyway having ds back in our bed. The 1st night I managed to get another hour out of him by holding the dummy in his mouth. Other nights I think he might be waking up before me and not grizzeling as much so I'm going back to sleep or just not hearing it so therefore I'm sleeping more lol maybe he's just way happier in our bed. But then I look at my chart (yes I still write down when he sleeps and feeds etc) he's sleeping 2, 3 or 4 hours at a time so I guess not too much has really changed? hmmm I might report back when I actually have a change lol

[onthefly]

Waking that often and feeding sounds totally normal at this age. It will change in the next month or so most likely, so I really wouldn't bother trying to force any changes right now.
Don't worry for a second about what other babies are doing. Sleeping long periods at this age is quite unusual - and those babies may well start waking up more in teh coming months, while your baby goes the other way, you just never know.
If it feels better to have him in bed with you then that sounds like the way to go for now. drop the charts if you can - they'll drive you mental

[Cherished]

doh where is my reply? Gosh I hate it when I click preview instead of post

marcellus I was doing the chart because I'd wake up in the night not knowing if it had been 2 mins or 2 hours since the last feed kwim so it actually helped keep me sane lol but I can see why it'd be really annoying for others. IN fact I haven't been writing anything down for the last 2 days and I"m all over the place again. I thought I'd stop doing it when he was sleeping more and I was in more of a routine but I'm still really fatigued as he's only sleeping for 2 hours at a time.

Which brings me to today. DS is still waking every 2 hours for a feed and I'm only getting to sleep for 1.5 hours at a time and now (for the past week) h'es also decided that he doesn't want to settle for at least one of those wake ups. Thankfully dh has been here and he's taken him out of the bedroom and settled him in his pram and then brought the pram back into the bedroom once he's asleep. The sleeps in the pram have been closer to 3 hours! Whatever works is fine by me but I still really want/need him to sleep for longer periods during the night.

So here's my new plan. Sleeping during the day to be no longer than 3.5 hours. I'm a big believer in never waking a sleeping baby but he's sensitive to noise so if we go into the room and make a bit of noise he should wake up gently during his day time naps and still be refreshed. I think he's pretty much sleeping 3.5-4 hours during the day at the moment so that wont be a big deal. The second thing I'll try is to give him his massage before his bath during the grumpy afternoon phase where we usually can't wait to get him in the bath. Sometimes we are needing to bath him just after 5pm as he's just too upset and as i mentioned he is sometimes even too tired by the end of it all to have a good feed. But on the feeding issue he's had a huge feed before bed for the last 2 nights and it hasn't made any difference Anyway I'm also going to try some cluster feeding from around 4pm but that may not work as he doesn't take the boob unless he wants food which is a bit of a bummer when I'd like to settle him back to sleep during the night with the boobie.

Any other suggestions will be much appreciated!

[onthefly]

If he's sleeping longer stretches during the day, you could try getting outside more (how's the weather there?) - sunshine is good for resetting the biological clock.
Also, does he sleep anywhere/how differently during the day and night? Be very wary of actually waking him early - less sleep during the day will often lead to even less during the night as he gets overtired.

Iused to keep records of every little wakeup and .... finally stopped. It was such a relief - didn't realise how obsessive I'd become! One thing I will say is if he's looking for another feed, just give it to him, regardless of how long it's been. Sometimes those little topups are really handy (like the cluster feeds).

Just remember that he's still really young - they change sooooo quickly at this age. You can try all sorts of things to change his 'routine', but he'll go and change on you himself week to week anyway, so it's not always worth the effort (if that makes sense). There are often big changes at around 3-4 months

[sloane]

this may not be a popular opinion but sometimes there isn't anything more you can do to make them sleep for longer. my DS is just over 17 months & pretty much woke every 2 hours until around 16.5 months - now he will sometimes do 4-5 hours at the start of the night (and then back to around every 2 hours) but sometimes still wakes every 2 hours. a good night for us is 3 wake ups but 5 is normal.

i tried so many things when he was little to try & stretch out sleeps. i thought we'd cracked it at around 3 months when he would sleep for 5 hours at the start of the night. the longer sleeps were in the pram - he slept in it till he was about 4 months old from memory. it was great because when we heard him stirring a little, we could rock him & he'd go back to sleep without waking. then he worked out how to roll & went back to waking frequently as he'd roll & wake himself up - in the cot by this stage.

sometimes i think i'm losing the plot & other times i think i can keep doing this indefinitely - or at least until he's ready to sleep for longer (which i really, really hope is before he starts school ). i could try non-gentle parenting techniques but i don't like them & my gut feeling is that DS probably wouldn't respond anyhow.

sorry - my intent wasn't to make this about me, but just to say that i really think babies sleep longer when they're ready. my MG is a good example - they've all been so different & even the great sleepers have bad nights when teething or sick. but they've all starting sleeping longer at different times & it's a mixture of BF & FF & parenting techniques no one thing seems to have meant success!

i hope it improves for you soon, in the meantime grab rest where you can & make sure you have some 'me' time

[Miss E]

Like the others have said, it all sounds pretty normal to me. Just a thought, have you tried doing a dream feed before you go to bed? I used to give DS a feed at around 10pm before I hopped into bed myself and that would usually stretch him out for 4 or 5 hours...

Mind you, I think the one thing to keep in mind is that it will always change (and keep changing). My DS started sleeping through every night (with the dream feed) from about 4 months. He did this for about 6 weeks until the teething started. From then on in he started waking at night more and more frequently, at around 8 months he wasn't sleeping much more than 45 mins at a time and I was getting up to him 7 or 8 times a night. Since he turned one, his sleep has been much better and he sleeps through most nights, but wakes for the day before 6am (lately it's been 4.30 am which isn't fun!). I guess the point I'm trying to make is that there isn't any 'fix' for it, they'll do what they do when they want to do it, and then change it again as soon as you start to get into the swing of things. I had always thought that once they started sleeping through, that was it, you were there and they'd keep doing it from then on in. But unfortunately in my case (and most of the other mums I know) it doesn't work that way. GL hun, hope you get a good sleep soon

[Cherished]

Thanks again girls for your input. In my heart I guess I know that DS will do whatever he wants and we will just be there to love him. I thought that if there is any gentle parenting way that I would give it a shot. I will keep going with the flow and hope for the best