What would YOU do?

[Mum2Romone]

well this has been something that I guess I knew was coming but I'd like some advice,

how would you go about this?

Would you deliberately ignore someones calls and invitations to family outings etc if you didn't want to be friends with them, and hope they get the hint....

OR

Would you politely tell them that you don't want to hang out? either in a text or phone conversation so it wasn't EXTRA awkward.

OR

would you just make up excuses, always being too busy or sick etc?

how would YOU personally handle a situation where someone was trying to be a friend and you didn't want to be.....???

Just want some different opinions please

[~Lashes~]

tell them straight out, some people realy dont take hints to well. you may feel bad or mean for telling them straight out, but it will stop alot of frustration if there the type of person who just dosent get the hint, or realy thinks your just busy and will be able to hang out the foolowing week, kwim?

[Visitor7]

Tell them straight out. I would hate to be on the receiving end, and someone ignoring me or lying to me when I wanted to hang out with them, only to find they didn't want to be my friend. I could have been using that time/energy on someone else.

[LimeSlice]

Be honest and show them some respect.

[briggsy's girl]

yup, tell them like it is - tell them you don't want to hang out for whatever reason. don't ignore them - it may seem rude to say it to them outright, but it's far ruder to jerk them around, thinking you are busy when you're actually avoiding them

[Calluna]

I'd like to say I would tell them outright, because that's what I think is the right thing to do. However I dont think I'd have the guts. so I'd probably ignore thier calls for a while in the hope they lose interest or get the hint or just hang out with them anyway depending on how much they irritate me.

*feels like a horrible person*

[widdly]

I am going through the same thing right now.

I have a woman who I was friends with who was in the same friendship group as XH and I and his now girlfriend. I decided to have a playdate with her and her kids last month cause she seemed so keen to be friends with me, though she had ignored me for four months whilsts spending all her free time with my XH and his girlfriend. After we caught up, I heard through someone the nasty comments being made about me from XH girlfriend. The whole group are just not nice people and I ahve done my best to cut them out of my life, but this woman wont get the hint, so I am going to have to tell her straight out, I think thats the right thing to do. I plan on telling her that nothing good can come of her and me being friends cause she is way too close with my XH. I am quite sure she will take it well.

GL, hope it doesnt get messy for you

[RhiChiChi]

I'd like to say I would tell them outright, because that's what I think is the right thing to do. However I dont think I'd have the guts. so I'd probably ignore thier calls for a while in the hope they lose interest or get the hint or just hang out with them anyway depending on how much they irritate me.

*feels like a horrible person*

That would be me too

[Mum2Romone]

well the question wasn't about me trying to fob someone off, but rather the opposite...

I message on fb and get no reply, but two weeks ago we were hanging out a lot, our kids playing.... I've called over Christmas, invited them to carols, Christmas eve Drinks, Dinner and they have said, great idea. And no call back to arrange the evening.... Now I have called about four times this past week .... Funny thing just to ask if I left my bloody designer sunglasses there, and they haven't answered the mobile phone, not once, or called back or even text,

last wednesday before xmas, I saw them for a quick drop in to give them some Christmas gifts I bought. I asked them to call to let me know about Christmas eve drinks... I particually said please call to let us know as otherwise we will make other plans..... Then we called Xmas eve when we had a babysitter and they didn't answer.... After Christmas is when I tried to call again, to see if they have my glasses....

Why won't she or he just say, I don't think it's best for our kids to hang out, or we don't like you. FFS this is why I don't usually bother trying with people.... hubby even left a message on the mob saying it's cool if you don't want to hang out, but don't say you will and then fob us off... I won't call again, if you wan a be mates, call me..... And he got a text back at a random time saying, Who's is up? which means nothing.. I replied. can't understand what your text says. hope you all had a great Christmas, what are youz up to? And nothing since..... Except for not answering the bloody mobile.... And the most annoying part is... She writes on fb to other people but not back to me....

I think I should just forget about it but I bet she will eventually get round to it and make up some lame excuse. But I don't need friends like that anyway... I'm just mad, I put up with some weird behavior but this preggo chick is ****ing me off

[Kazbah]

For me it depends on how strong I feel. At the moment I'm going through this, and am ignoring? delaying? callbacks for a day or so, or sending an SMS with "sorry, not feeling well, will speak later".

It's a real bummer about your glasses, maybe send them a message that you'll be round to look for your glasses ?

[littlelara]

It's sad, but some people just don't know how to be honest about things like that, especially if it's nothing you've done.
Honestly, even though I would want to do the right thing, the thought of actually saying something like that even in theory (and I have said it once irl) makes me uncomfortable and hot and cold. No one wants to hurt someone else.
If it were me I would guess 'they're just not that into you/me' it's probably not personal. It's a shame they aren't treating you with dignity and consideration though, it's the least you deserve.

[Mum2Romone]

Thanks Lara

[~me~]

Lara has said it very well I would drop in quickly and ask them about your sunglasses , wish them a happy new year, delete friend off FB and move on

[Mum2Romone]

Good advice Heather, I'll update the thread, with how it all plays out thanks

[Mum2Romone]

Well I have called once more today and no answer... I really don't want to just drop on so I'll guess I'll wait a bit... They have my Tupperware containers too

[OceanPrincess]

M2R, for designer sunnies and Tuppers, I would not give up. Get your possessions back and then move on.

I don't mess around when it comes to either sunnies OR Tuppers. I am possessive about both!!

[littlelara]

Can you text her and see if she can drop them off? Then you don't have to rely on them answering your call.