What do you think of this

[aussienic]

Ds3 started prep this year. He absolutely loves it which is fantastic.. My problem is this

the other day DH dropped him off and as usual we sit and do puzzles ect till the bell.. Another little boy came up and said Hello Jacob. Jacob ignored him completely. he went away after saying hello again and being ignored. Dh told him that was rude so he turned to his dad and said.. His name is int he red dot (they have traffic lights~ green is good, yellow is first warning, red is time out) I don't talk to children who have their name in the red dot..

I thought fair enough but we did talk to him and say while he might have been naughty it wasn't polite to ignore him like that

Today I was sitting doing some puzzles and a boy came up and said Hello to Jacob. Jacob ignored him and I said excuse me Jacob someone is saying hello to you. He gave a quick hi and went back to what we were doing. I asked him why he wouldn't say hello and his response was... He is a naughty boy and I don't talk to naughty kids

I spoke with his teacher to see if we should encourage or discourage this She said it is actually a good trait to have as when he gets to teenage years hopefully it will continue and he won't talk to "naughty kids"

but in prep they encourage everyone to be friends and talk to each other and she said what is naughty in prep to teenagers is a huge difference.. She did say they would all have a talk as to how we should be nice and polite ect ect..

Are anyone elses preppies like this? Or even your older children?

Jacob is no angel at home either but at school he is perfect (typical)

[Phteven]

Yep.
Y stopped hanging out with his friend Ryan because he called Elliot Smelliot (even though Y doesn't like Elliot because he's the naughtiest kid in the class lol). Then he stopped talking to a couple of other boys because they were naughty. It doesn't really bother me much. I figure it's up to him to choose his own friends and if he only wants to hang out with good kids that's ok by me.

[Pandora]

I tell DS that while he doesn't have to be friends with everyone he should be polite to everyone wrt hello/goodbye/please/thank you etc.
He doesn't always get it though.

Our school has traffic lights too.

[aussienic]

I tell DS that while he doesn't have to be friends with everyone he should be polite to everyone wrt hello/goodbye/please/thank you etc.
He doesn't always get it though.

Our school has traffic lights too.

That is what I said to Jacob. Still be polite but he doesn't have to play with everyone if he doesn't want to

[Pretty Butterfly]

Za is in preschool, and doesnt play with the "naughty" kids either!!

He tells me that he laughs at them because they are funny, but wont play with them if they are naughty.

This includes his own cousin, my neice!!! But hey, she IS naughty!!!

They have sticker charts, and he'll happily tell me who does/doesn't have stickers on the wall, and he can name the naughty kids, but forgets most of his friends names...

He also knows to be polite and not be rude, but I think he does ignore them.

[~Jayne~]

I had a very similar situation. Jess was friendly with a girl named Mayah from daycare & they just happened to be in the same Kindy class. After the first week it became apparent that Mayah was one of the naughty kids & always had her picture on the 'red face' (exactly like your red dot thingo) & that's where the friendship ended. I was a bit sad to begin with, but I knew the teacher a bit on the side & she said she would discourage Jess pursuing that friendship as this kid was REALLY naughty.

I think in the whole scheme of things, it's probably a good trait to have, as it shows the kids are capable of making an informed decision of their choice of friends.

In Jessica's case, I think she was just too scared to be on the red face. bahahah

[aussienic]

Jacob doesn't laugh at them at all.. he just looks on disapprovingly which is funny cus you should see him at home.. I just told him this afternoon we are making a traffic light for the fridge cus it clearly works at school..

I usually hate to mix school and home discipline but hey its a great idea so it might work at home for both Jacob and our darling little terror olivia..

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

While I would be upset if my son was not polite, I wish he wouldn't play with a naughty child! His friends now are nice, polite children but we did have a huge problem with a naughty boy before that staff would not tackle - me and his best mate's mum were so cross and fed up of bad behaviour trickling home and them blaming our sons for this other boy's actions we moved nursery school.

I also do this at home - if DS is deliberately naughty, I won't play with him until he apologises or clears up his mess. I think it's fine to not like naughty people!

[Yeddi]

I actually find this kind of disturbing. How old are they... 5, 6? And this system is making those kids who are naughty (a subjective term really - some teachers may consider anything other than sheep-like behaviour "naughty") into pariahs. They've also only got one chance, what if they don't understand the original instruction. What is to encourage these children to be good other than public censure? Perhaps these kids have issues at home and all they need is one good friend. Perhaps they are doing it for attention and all they need is some positive reinforcement. Perhaps these kids parents have been slack in discipline and this is their first opportunity learning social skills which requires a period of adjustment. Perhaps they have learning disabilities that haven't been identified or properly managed. To be black marked for the rest of the school year by the other kids in the class isn't exactly nice or fair. I also don't think discipline between a teacher and a student should be a public affair and conducted in front of the whole class. Only indicators of good behaviour should be displayed for all to see as encouragement, not displaying a record of kids bad behaviour so they can have their noses rubbed in it. Who needs corporal punishment, when you can just give kids an emotional canning instead! There is childishness and there is naughty. This system doesn't exactly allow for a distinction. Kids aren't robots or angels, they will ALL eventually muck up and find themselves with a red light I'm sure. What then?

I'm not saying anything against your son aussienic, he is obviously just reacting to what I consiser a questionable practice by the teacher/school/system. I have to wonder how many of those "naughyt" kids go home in tears and/or are now battling self-esteem issues. There are better ways of soliciting good behaviour from students, particularly little ones.

[Nai]

I actually find this kind of disturbing. How old are they... 5, 6? And this system is making those kids who are naughty (a subjective term really - some teachers may consider anything other than sheep-like behaviour "naughty") into pariahs. They've also only got one chance, what if they don't understand the original instruction. What is to encourage these children to be good other than public censure? Perhaps these kids have issues at home and all they need is one good friend. Perhaps they are doing it for attention and all they need is some positive reinforcement. Perhaps these kids parents have been slack in discipline and this is their first opportunity learning social skills which requires a period of adjustment. Perhaps they have learning disabilities that haven't been identified or properly managed. To be black marked for the rest of the school year by the other kids in the class isn't exactly nice or fair. And I don't think discipline between a teacher and a student should be a public affair and conducted in front of the whole class either. Only indicators of good behaviour should be displayed for all to see as encouragement, not displaying a record of kids bad behaviour so they can have their noses rubbed in it. Who needs corporal punishment, when you can just give kids an emotional canning instead! There is childishness and there is naughty. This system doesn't exactly allow for a distinction. Kids aren't robots or angels, they will ALL eventually muck up and find themselves with a red light I'm sure. What then?

I'm not saying anything against your son aussienic, he is obviously just reacting to a questionable practice by the teacher/school/system. I have to wonder how many of those "naughyt" kids go home in tears and/or are now battling self-esteem issues. There are better ways of soliciting good behaviour from students, particularly little ones.

I agree - by labelling these kids as "naughty" before they even have the cognitive ability to understand many concepts around right and wrong I am concerned that they are already being set up for failure and will carry this label through school and eventually through life. The possibility that they will think that everyone already thinks they are naughty so they might as well misbehave because that is what is expected of them. It makes me a bit sad to think that rather than trying some alternative behaviour modifications they are getting trial by class.

[Yeddi]

...they are getting trial by class.

Yes, I guess that is why I find it so disturbing - I believe this type of system only reinforces peer pressure.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I think it depends - I would have thought that everyone starts off on "green" and only deliberate naughtiness went to "red" - and that child would have a chance to redeem him/herself by learning what is socially acceptable at that age - surely age-appropriate "problems" (such as not hearing every single instruction, not wanting to do a particular activity if very engaged in current activity) wouldn't be "naughty", right?

Something Liebling did at 2 and was told off for, he now has time out or I don't play with him until he apologises. Age-appropriate boundaries and punishments. And he has a chance to make everything OK and back to normal by apologising or tidying up. Given how peer-influenced school is, it's nice to learn early how to get along with people!