Dr Jay Gordon - any thoughts?? (sorry, long winded post!)

[Cass72]

Not sure if this is quite the right spot to post this but.......

We, DH and I, have decided to implement Dr Jay Gordon's "Sleep, changing patterns" plan. After reading the article and some other information it seems to me to be a gentle way of getting him to sleep through the night - or, rather, learn to settle himself back to sleep when he wakes during the night.

Our LO has "slept through" (usually only 2 - 3 days at the most in a row) intermittently over the past month or so, so I know (???) that he's more than ready for it.

Last night I gave him a BF before bed as usual. He woke around 9.45pm so DH gave him a bottle of formula (he drank around 150ml). He woke againg at 1am so I gave him another BF, he was drowsy so I put him back into his cot and hoped that that would be it. He woke again at 2.40am and, I decided instead to rock him to sleep. He was clearly cranky with me and kept looking for my breast not because he was hungry but more for comfort and, I think, habit. There were no tears but he did carry on for over 40 minutes. I ended up putting him back into his cot during one of his lulls and then sat outside his door. He seemed to work out pretty quickly that I wasn't going to come back in and all was quiet within 2 minutes! I don't believe at all in so-called controlled crying (or leaving a baby to cry when they need comfort) however, he was clearly not upset but angry and I could feel myself getting tense which would have most likely been setting him off. He didn't wake again until 6.10am - a most respectable hour!!

Anyway, what I want to know, has anyone done this? Or, have any other ideas? My alarm goes off at 5am every morning and I work fulltime so getting up twice or more a night is starting to take a toll - I am feeling rundown, I have a disgusting cold sore and I just want to sleep through the night too!

[Olive]

i used his methods, it took a few goes (due to DD having constant ear infections) but it did work after she had grommets at 16 months, its hard but worth it

[Snacks]

Wow, I just googled him and had a brief read of the "changing patterns" plan. I really like his philosophy. I did a similar thing with P when she was 13-14 months old, only she was in her own bed as she never wanted to sleep with me.
Certainly she was angry, but right from the first night I didn't feed her, so perhaps she would've been less 'angry' if I had've? Not sure. At any rate, for us, I settled, cuddled, shushed and patted her for a good couple of hours the first night, slightly less the second, slightly less the third. She was so exhausted after these sessions (as, do beware, she did cry for pretty much the entire time, even with me there with her. Especially with me there even) but after that she was done and dusted.
I agree with his advice not to do this unless you really want to, and not in the first year. It is much easier even now for me to feel ok about having done this with Phoebe when she was 1 than having done the regimented, cold-hearted controlled crying with Natty when she was only 7 months I still regret my actions as a first-time parent, not having my own mind quite enough. Sigh. Live and learn.
Anyhoo, I think it sounds like it could work for you and as I've said I think his philosophy is one I'd be comfortable with, personally.
Good luck!

[Heaven]

Yep I used it! I see you read my thread about my DD's sleep issues so you know all about it. I hope it works for you too!! Good luck!!

[Cass72]

Snacks, I agree 110% with your comment of "I still regret my actions as a first-time parent, not having my own mind quite enough. Sigh. Live and learn." There are some things that I wish I was more assertive about with DS1 - this time around, I will listen to advice but then make up my own mind.

Olive, it's good to know that it does work!

Heaven, your post sounded very similar to issues that we were having with Robert (and it gave me hope) - it's funny how you think you're all alone in this (especially at 2am!) but there are 100s more mums and dads out there doing the exactly same thing!!

I told DH that tonight (last night) we start the Dr Jay thing. I gave him a BF (errr, DS2 not DH ) and popped him into his cot. As he fell asleep before he could empty my left breast (it was really uncomfortable) I gave him a dreamfeed just before I went to bed. When he woke at 2.30 I gave him a bottle - when I BF him during the night it's harder to get him to settle as lately he just wants to hold on and I figure it's more for comfort than nourishment. Anyway, he finished off his bottle (150ml) and then after we had a little cuddle, I popped him back into his cot - very sleepy but still awake - and then he didn't wake until 6.15am.

We will do the same tonight and tomorrow night - except for the dreamfeed - and then move onto the second phase ..... well that's the plan anyway: we'll see how it goes.

Thanks for the support!!

[Snacks]

Glad to hear it went so peacefully! Hope the next phase is just as easy.