Night Weaning .... It is hard :(

[Meercat]

My little girl is just one, and has never really slept well. She wakes up over 6 times each night to nurse back to sleep. So far I have just gone with the flow, but it is starting to take its toll on me so I decided to night wean. She has been nursing before each nap and then alllllll night long.

The first night I let my mum have her first sleep over with Tiah, because I know Mum is totally honest with me about how everything goes and will call me if I need to come and feed Tiah, or help settle her. Also I knew I would not be strong enough to say no to Tiah if she cried for the boobie. She slept five hours straight, woke up and cuddled my mum for about half an hour then slept another four hours! SO I know that she can go without, and so I feel a bit more confident going forward with the night weaning.

So Tonight is my first night doing it by myself (DP cannot settle her, she flips out if anyone but "Mama" trys if we are at home) I am not looking forward to it at all

Already I feel like crying at the thought of not giving her something that obviously gives her comfort. But I know I cant go on feeding her all night, I am startng to get short with her in the early hours of the morning and by the late afternoon I am a zombie. I feel so guilty though. I want to continue giving her a morning and night feed for a while then slowly cut hem out as well.... but already I get so panicky at the thought of not breastfeeding anymore... I am a loony

So ... does anyone have any tips for getting through the night?!!?!??

[Junglemum]

Yes it's hard. But with both my girls it was the be thing I did for all of us. I was getting like you, so tired so I decided to night wean and things improved dramatically. My girls were both about 8 months and it took one night for dd1 and two nights for dd2.
To begin with i felt bad too, but then I told myself that I had a repertoire of things to comfort my baby. I could cuddle, rock, walk, sing, pat and so could dh. We never left her to CIO we were still providing comfort. My dd was similar to yours in that she always wanted me, or so I thought. When we night weaned and dh cut in, it was the first time she settled really well. It was a great moment for us all, dh gained confidence and I was able to let go a little in my feeling that she'd only settle for me.

So it took maybe an hour or so of cuddling rocking and walking but it worked. Oh I also offered water. I'll be honest, it sucked, and was hard by so worth it. I was at breaking point and it needed to be done for our family.

Good luck. X

[~Kim~]

My little guy was a little bit older, but I used Dr Jar Gordan's method. It only really took a few nights and it really wasn't that tough. I was already used to being up a bit at night so a few extra didn't really matter.
He still wakes a bit, but at least I don't feel like he's feeding all the time.

Good luck

[Meercat]

Thanks ladies! DP has set himself up
next to her room, and he has been in to settle her twice with no issues so far! I am hiding in bed listening in on the monitor... And he will let me know if he needs me to take over. I think he is a bit chuffed to be needed, he was getting a bit down that she wanted boobie so much and didnt seem to want him. Tbh I think she will prob be fine... It will be me missing the nursing!!!

[HotI]

Best of luck! We are not there yet but i think i will be sometime in the future. DD also feeds many times over night.

Question for those who did night wean, did the baby want more feeds during the day (BF or solids)? Did their weight gains change at all with night weaning? This is one of my concerns, if she is feeding cos she needs the feeds, what happens if i stop them?

Meercat, have you read the No cry Sleep Solution? just wondering if you were uing any of the methods from there

[Meercat]

I have read that one! We have been using some of the methods with slow success.

We co sleep as well (when I can no longer keep re settling her in the cot) and I have been pulling her off when her sucking slows and then putting my back to her. It works some of the time, but then there are the times when she crawls up and peeks over my shoulder with a cheeky grin trying to look at me to ask for more boobie haha

I find that with the constant night feedings I get so exhausted I cave and resort back to simply feeding her to sleep and then have to start over again. I am hoping that with DP helping me we can help her get through the night without needing to nurse... He realized today that I am not coping and seems to be on board. Usually he kind of takes the stand of, oh I cant help because I don't have boobs grrrr.

[Junglemum]

How'd it go meercat?

HotI- to answer your qn, no it didn't effect either weight gains or supply for us. I was conscious of making sure they had enough and I did offer more feeds during the day but found it was hard to add much more than one extra in. By then my girls were feeding pretty much 3-4 hourly. It didn't effect our bf journey at all either they both continued on for many months after that.

[Meercat]

Well we lasted until midnight, that would be when DP gave up and woke me by putting her in bed with me saying she wouldn't settle. I let her nurse for a few minutes and then proceeded to try and get her to settle without the boob. She fell asleep at FOUR AM

She wasn't crying all of that time though, more fussing and trying to get comfortable if that makes sense? Seemed like she was trying to get to sleep but couldn't do it herself?

We are going to do the same tonight... I will give her a feed and settle her to bed then DP will handle it until he cant stand it anymore then I will take over. Already she slept longer though... Four hours once she finally drifted off!

[Junglemum]

That's great. The best thing i got from No-cry SLeep Solutions that it is not 'giving-in' if you do feed her, it's all progress and you can try again the next night. Good luck tonight.

[Snacks]

Meercat, 4 hours is great Be encouraged.
HotI - I have had mixed experiences with this. When I night weaned Natty she was only 7-8 months old and we went through breast refusal at 11 months. Her weight gain dropped a lot (but I think it just went back to 'normal' because she was feeding every hour or so overnight so she had been reeeeeeeeally chubby). I must admit, I do attribute the early weaning to our overnight weaning. But as I said, she was younger.
With Phoebe, it didn't effect her at all. But she was older (about 13-14 months) and was well into solids by then. We did wean shortly after during the day as well, but that was largely my choice. P probably would've kept going on one feed a day for longer.

[Kmn]

That does sound promising - you will find it very hard to settle her without feeds initially - mostly because you smell of milk, so it is a real reminder to her of what she isn't getting!

Also - keep an eye on you and hand express if you need to. it is even harder to refuse a grumpy baby if you are uncomfy yourself!

[Meercat]

So an update... More for me so I don't give up!

Last night was a massive set back. I made chicken pasta for DP and I and it made us both sick! Add that to a little girl falling asleep without dinner after her first trip to the zoo and we were all too grumpy and tired to do anything but feed her when she woke up.

Back into it today though. Managed to get her down for her afternoon nap without her even asking for boobie so I am encouraged.

And omg if I don't feed her for too long my boobs are like rocks. It is amazing because they never seem very full.... But she us obviously getting a bucket load of milk!!!

[Junglemum]

Oh you poor things! Poisoning yourself is the worst.

That's great she settled without a feed, good luck tonight!

[Meercat]

Small success! Tiah went down for the night after a sippy cup if cows milk and a cuddle and some stories at 7.30(no boobie! She didn't even ask for it!) then slept till 12, only needing me to go in once and that was just for a few pats on her bottom.

The she had a nurse (a big one so I know it wasn't just for comfort) and slept until 3.30. Then I took her into bed with me, let her have another big feed and she slept until 7.30!!!!!

At one point I went into her room after hearing her cry, and found her sitting up. She picked up her dummy, put it back in and laid down and went back to sleep herself! Unheard of!!!

I know two feeds is still more than some her age, but it is a step in the right direction and so much better than what we usually do so I am in heaven! I slept! It was amazing!

[Junglemum]

Fantastic! Progress is so encouraging isn't it? I think baby steps are better for everyone sometimes. Good work Tiah.

[Kmn]

I don't think the aim is to get her to "as few feeds as most babies", it's to get it to where her night waking is not causing problems for you or her or your DH. And it looks like you are on your way!

[MummaSue]

Great thread Meercat! I've been wondering how and when and what to do about night weaning DD. Unfortunately we're not there yet for the concerns that HotI has expressed:

This is one of my concerns, if she is feeding cos she needs the feeds, what happens if i stop them?

We do BLS and some days the amount of food that DD consumes is questionable - certainly nowhere near the amounts that a spoon fed baby would take so I feel that her feeds overnight (which can range anywhere from 2 to 6 overnight) are really important at this stage. I think that we are at least another 6-10 months away from night weaning.

It's good to read how others are doing it though! Good luck and I'm looking forward to seeing how you go with it all.

[~Kim~]

That's a great effort for you all Meercat!
It's amazing how such a small success to some makes you feel so much better.