thread: What to do with Godparents

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Oct 2010
    11

    What to do with Godparents

    Hi,

    I am hoping to get some ideas on my problem

    My husband and I have never been particularly religious. We never had our Wedding in the Church so figured that when the kids came along there really was no need to have them baptised. So we had a naming ceremony for each of them on their 1st birthday and we had separate "Godparents" for each of them (3). Then!! We decided to send them to a catholic school (let me point out that although we are not religious I still do believe) and I am really happy with this school. So, now my eldest boy is in grade 3 and his friends are all doing the sacramental program but he is not able to as he is not baptised. So we have decided to have all 3 boys baptised together. This is because we believe that because we have sent them to the catholic school, they need to feel apart of the church community. Anyway what my problem is: I have asked 2 very special people (both catholic) to be godparents for all of the kids. However, what about the other people that had been "godparents" at their namings. 2 of the people I have asked for the baptism are from the namings so that is ok...but what about the others. Would you be annoyed? Have I done the right thing?

    Also I should add that we went to a preparation course today and were told that there are to only be 2 godparents and they need to be practising catholics.

    Anyway, tell me what your thoughts are.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2009
    Scottish expat living in Geelong
    5,572

    I would be upfront with the original godparents, and let them know you need the godparents to be practising Catholics. I'm sure they will understand if they are close friends

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    If they others aren't practising Catholics, then it is out of your hands. But if they are, I'm sure they would understand that you can only have 2 and if you could you'd keep it as it was.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    Isn't that two godparents per child though, and you're having all three boys baptized? So you could have six all up if you wanted to (all Catholic). Don't know if that is any help LOL! We used the needing to be baptized themselves line to avoid offending several friends.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship
    3,627

    Is the church really that inflexible? Surely your other friends can stand up there with your children catholic or not? I'm not sure that I'd be annoyed with you as such but more so the feeling of being snubbbed by the church and not good enough to be a guide or godparent to your children if I'm not a practising catholic. Can you have 2 parcticing catholics 1st inline and then the others? If you can only have 2 people up there then just choose the 2 catholics and have the rest sit in the front row at the church then have your own special speech or ceremony etc at home during the after party/gathering.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    cherished, our church is Anglican and from my fuzzy memory of the process at least one of DD's godparents had to be a baptised Anglican. As it turned out, both of the godparents we chose were Anglican anyway, but that was luck. However, the idea is that the godparents agree to assist with raising the child in the religion you are choosing to have them baptised in. I would think it a bit odd to not identify with that church and agree to do this. I am godmother to my friend's little boy and that was in a Uniting Church, where they weren't as strict (just have to agree to pass on Christian principles, that kind of thing). But Catholic and Anglican still are. We would want to choose godparents who agree with our choice of faith for our children and are familiar with the religious traditions of our church. The point is that if anything happened to us, they have agreed to oversee our child's Christian upbringing. To us, that would mean helping organise confirmation, help them attend church, etc, since neither of our families are Anglican so wouldn't have the faintest idea of what it means, when it happens, etc. We'd also prefer an Anglican school for high school, this would be something I'd expect them to help out with.

    DTMS?

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship
    3,627

    makes sense Jennifer I was really refering more to the church not allowing the other godparents to be apart of the ceremony kwim. sure they can have the catholic ones at the front of the line and for them to do whatever they are supposes to do or paticipate in but I think they can still allow the others to be there or stand there, JMO though and I realise religion has it's own set of rules, it would just be nice to see some flexibility, at least I would like some if it were me.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    I think Catholic and Anglican may only allow two godparents per child. But I'm not sure. So they might not recognise extras ITMS. It's tradition probably more than anything.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Western Sydney
    1,109

    Actually it depends on the Church. My son was recently baptised in a Catholic church. He has 2 Catholic godparents, one Anglican godparent and one Jewish godparent. The church did not mind as long as there was at least 2 Catholic godparents.

    I dont know if that answers the original question or not

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Oct 2010
    11

    Hi,

    Thank you all for your input.

    At the pre-baptism course that we attend, the groups of parents were told only 2 godparents so I just assumed that meant us too. We are having all 3 boys baptised so I was just going to have the same godparents for each of them. I have decided to stick with just having the same 2 for all the boys as it just seems easier. Also the other "godparents" who are my niece and nephew have not be baptised and the other godparent is not catholic and living in Sydney so really that isn't an issue...unless of course she decides she would fly down but I doubt she would.

    Anyway, rambling on.

    Thank you