hi! I have 6 stepchildren. None of them live with us though. the older 4 are all adults and grown up and we do see them regularly, the younger 2 DH has nothing to do with ( =( ) so i have never met them.
DH and i have been married just over a year, and are currently TTC our first.
My DSD is 19 and lives with her stepfather. She hasn't seen her mother in over a year, and to the best of my knowledge, nor her father. She spends time with me... as she said, her parents are idiots but they married really nice people!
I was more heavily involved when she was younger - I met her Dad when she was 6, and we had 2-3 nights a week with her until she was 11. We then moved to the country so it turned into alternate weekends and half holidays, until her Father blew a nut at her when she was 12.5 because she wouldn't do what he wanted to do, so she didn't see him for a few years. After XH and I separated, we stayed in touch, and that's how she sees her brothers.
I have 2 DSD's. 13 and 12 - there is a year and 5 days between them but the 12 yr old isn't biologically my DP's - long, long story but short version is his ex fell pregnant to another guy during a "break" and DP adopted the baby.
13 yr old DSD lives with us, the other lives with her mum and we see her every fortnight and a week during school holidays and 2 weeks at Christmas...
I have a 7 yr old DS from my previous marriage who lives with us and DP and I have a nearly 2 yr old DD...
We have had two of the eldest living with us for 3 years but they have recently gone home now but it wont last long because there mother is a nightmare... and after 7 years we are still have constant dramas and issues with her. Police. arrests. abuse. the works....Its never ending and completely doing my head in. Hardest thing i have ever had to cope with.....that and my dad being sick..
I don't have a great deal to do with my DSD's mother and when I do, it's all very pleasant - at the moment!!
We have had a lot of issues though, she is a very neglectful mother but DSD has been living with us now for a year and a half and she finally seems to be pulling her head in...
As for my XDH - he is a controlling, vindictive, abusive person - we will always have problems now that I have backbone and am stronger!
Well the cops have rocked around to our house this week. They want hubby to take one of his daughters in for questioning about an incident with there mother...apparently the ex is refusing.....so does that mean the cops need permission to question someone under 18? How come when she was arrested for another incident it wasnt an issue? anyone know much about this situation? We dont have access to his daughter at the moment anyways and cant even get in contact with the ex
How does everyone else feel about the step kids living with them or the possibilty of it????? We had two of them living with us for 3 years and i tried.....but to be completely honest i am happy with them not living with us...over the moon actually........is that horrible of me that i dont want them with us????????....Does that make me a bad person....its just we have been through so much and i have my own family to worry about now.......and apart from space and money issues, they have been raised by there mother and lets put it this way they have issues and it would be such a time consuming and very hard task to get them to be respectful etc. My dads sick and im pregnant..and i dont think our relationship is strong enough to survive the 4 step kids living with us and my DD and one on the way.........so what do i do if it happens. I cant cope i just cant.....I dont know if thats horrible or not...but im over it all..i want some peace....i know there kids but i think it would tear us apart.....i wouldnt cope living with them all......and with all the trouble and what if's and the ups and downs and never knowing whats going on its is really REALLY stressful...im trying to tell myself to deal with it when or if it happens but its extremely hard not to worry about it when the cops are on our door step and the ex is not answering.....its all the control she has which is bothering me..and because she stuffs her life up we have to pay every time.. Im just so over it its not funny...
I kind of understand...
And I think like the biggest biatch!!!
I have 2 step daughters, DSD (Age 13) lives with us and its great. She is a dream step child and we get along better than she does with her dad... However DSD (age 12) is a different story. We clash 24/7. She hates me and my DS (from my previous marriage) and makes sure we know it but she doesn't do it in front of DP so he doesn't see it... She is a massive handful with all kinds of issues that her mother sweeps under the rug. Every fortnight I am filled with anxiety at how I'm going to deal with her and keep the peace so everyone has a good weekend. I hate to think how I would cope if she were to come live with us...
I hate that I feel like this - I love kids!! I feel like a failure because of it...
We have all been through so much because of the evil ex, 7 years of it....we have been through it all...cops, abuse charges, neglect, voilence, threats, games, texts, calls,...u name it......and i know the children must be confused because she is bipolar..so its always up and down over there...she is not the greatest mother thats for sure and she is very selfish.....she has put them through the ringer.
So sometimes yes i think i should be more understanding because they are children and they have been through alot......but then we have also been through alot and i need to protect my children and there up bringing. I want them to be able to have the chance to have a normal, stable life without all this stuff. Its also because there is 4 step kids and 2 are teenagers...so its very very challenging...with the swearing, stealing, bullying, lying, disrespect, games etc etc etc im just over all the drama and stress thats brought into our lives..and i dont want it around DD2 and a new baby........and if they come it would be like starting all over again and having to teach respect, and manners, and the proper way to live and to be honest i dont think i have the strength again..defiantly not with 4 of them plus our 2.........it was a battle with the eldest two.....and its just hard when there not you're own children......plus we dont have the room and just cant afford it.......so its always on my mind......waiting waiting waiting for the time we have got them all...so i am always on edge..
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Im just so over it its not funny...
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