help getting 2yr old settled at night :(

[Olive]

im getting desperate with DD2 (2 yrs) no matter what time i put her down i.e 6.30pm and DD1 at 7pm, or like tonight both together because i thought it might help (BIG mistake) i know have both still awake at 7.30pm with DD2 screaming, constantly calling out etc... i can go in her room at least 20 times before shes goes to sleep, i lost it with her tonight, ive tried a few different things and nothing is working, im deperate. she is also waking during the night, most often around the 4-5am mark and again im in and out of her room several times. im actually hating going to bed atm
anyone have any ideas for me??

oh she still day sleeps for around 70 mins and shes not ready to drop it as shes tired my midday most days

[mummy of 3 boys]

maybe closely look at what she eats, is anything making her hypo???

my DS1(3yrs) is starting to push my buttons but i find when he sleeps long during the day he doesnt want to go to bed early

sorry im not much help, i hope someone might have better ideas

[Winter]

Since we share the same child Olive, once again we have had the same problems here. However, they seem to come and go, so at the moment we are in a relatively good phase (if you ignore the fact that she is sick and spending most of the night in our bed). We have good night and bad nights and I find myself just going with the flow and waiting for the good nights again.

I understand your frustration!

[onthefly]

Is she keeping DD1 awake? Is that the problem?
DS used to be like that. When he was younger I couldn't leave teh room at all, but as he approached 2 I could, so that was easier. It took 1-2 hours for him to go to sleep some nights, but not having to spend all night there made it easier. Maybe this is just her process for getting to sleep at the moment?
No actual advice, sorry. DS just seemed to get over it - still takes him a while to get to sleep, bu thtere's less noise now

[sneakysparkle]

Ive had similar issues with DD#2 recently - I think we are only *just* coming out the other side of it.
She has just had all her molars come through, and since then things have been MUCH better!
Also, Ive had to gradually go from holding her (where she goes to sleep within minutes!) to putting her down awake - which is a seperate issue I know, so probably of no help to you!
I think maybe you just have to hang in there!
It is annoying, when they keep the older one awake. I guess thats when I get over it and go in there till she goes to sleep...
I figure it will get better one day!!!

[Olive]

lol winter!!!
ive just got her out of needing us (me) to stay til she falls asleep and i cant go back to doing that,
part of the issue it keeping DD1 awake (or waking her at some rediculous hour like 3.34am this morning) the other issue is whinging and crying, calling out etc... going to sleep, i selfishly want to put her to bed and that be the end of it (selfish i know)

[mummy of 3 boys]

Olive- is she having nightmares??? molars coming through?? does she still have a dummy??

what is she doing when she wakes through the night??? screaming, crying, just waking up

have u tried letting them sleep with a light on??? maybe shes scared of the dark

when its time to put her to bed for the night say at 7pm, is it an option to put her in your bed then move her when she is sleep into her own bed so she can call out but not in the same room iykwim??

sorry if none of this helps, just trying to think of some different things

[MrsFabuloso]

When you find the secret let me know. I have to still lay with DS1 for up to an hour before he will fall asleep and god forbid I get up and leave before he's fully asleep or all hell breaks loose. Now with DS2 in the mix, I have to have him with me to put DS1 to bed (if he's not asleep already, which he usually isn't), this creates another battle with DS1 talking to DS2 and it's just chaos. I, like you, just want bed time to be easy, read a story,put him into bed, and say goodnight until 12 hours later....but it's not to be, and such is life, if I dwell on it I get upset....I have gotten used to having 5hrs broken sleep every night (if I'm lucky!). Sigh...

[mummy of 3 boys]

Lilias- have you tried getting a CD player and playing calming ocean music, baby soothing music...That might relax him and put him to sleep

this might sound abit rude but i dont mean it like that at all, how hard on him are you when you put him to bed???

i did a course which was called 'Triple P' course its all about positive parenting and it says in there for bedtime if they get out of bed to stand them in the corner for (he is 3) for 3 mins and then back to bed, if he gets up again then its the corner again, VERY repetitive but thats what they suggest after awhile of doing this every night they will get use to it, keep in mind it could take upto 20 times or so a night, i understand it might be hard with DS2 as well

With my DS1 i put him to bed, if he comes out i put him back to bed and i do this repeatedly...I dont sit with them or anything Lately he has been asking for a lamp on in his room so i let him have that and after a little bit he will fall to sleep

these are just thoughts, if the yelling out continues i would just ignore it (another idea from the 'triple p' course

[MrsFabuloso]

Mzqtie, thanks hun, but tbh, that sort of thing is just too emotionally taxing on me right now. I am waaayyy too exhausted to try anything that would need fortitude, persistence and strength, itms? I'm not hard on him at all. I have to do alot of the bed time stuff on my own because DH works nights sometimes, and his days are all unpredictable from week to week, so there's not that consistency either. DH have put a limit on the night time fiasco, he has 5 weeks off at the end of October. So if we haven't been able to get things sorted by then then we are going cold turkey. But he will be home to help and I'm hoping DS2 will not still be bfeeding 2hrly! Either way I do really know what's going wrong, and what I need to 'fix' but I'm just not in the right space to do it alone right now.

[Olive]

Olive- is she having nightmares??? molars coming through?? does she still have a dummy??
not sure about the nightmares i have thought about it though, no molars yet, i checked today! she has blankies and teddies etc no dummy

what is she doing when she wakes through the night??? screaming, crying, just waking up
wakes up calling for me, oftne wants drink or cream on legs it can take up to 30 mions to get her back to sleep, other nights she just tells me she loves me and goes back to sleep

have u tried letting them sleep with a light on??? maybe shes scared of the dark
she has a nightlight+the light on her monitor+ he sheep clock

when its time to put her to bed for the night say at 7pm, is it an option to put her in your bed then move her when she is sleep into her own bed so she can call out but not in the same room iykwim??
i dont want to start any new habits

sorry if none of this helps, just trying to think of some different things

thanks hun xxxxxxx

[mummy of 3 boys]

Mzqtie, thanks hun, but tbh, that sort of thing is just too emotionally taxing on me right now. I am waaayyy too exhausted to try anything that would need fortitude, persistence and strength, itms? I'm not hard on him at all. I have to do alot of the bed time stuff on my own because DH works nights sometimes, and his days are all unpredictable from week to week, so there's not that consistency either. DH have put a limit on the night time fiasco, he has 5 weeks off at the end of October. So if we haven't been able to get things sorted by then then we are going cold turkey. But he will be home to help and I'm hoping DS2 will not still be bfeeding 2hrly! Either way I do really know what's going wrong, and what I need to 'fix' but I'm just not in the right space to do it alone right now.

i completely understand where your coming from, my DF works night shift every 5 weeks too and does for about a month and also starts at all different times
its very hard on your own to get things done especially in a certain time frame more so when its just that time of night and things dont go right

i really hope you and olive find the right thing soon to help lots of from me as i guess ive had it pretty easy from DS1 when its bed time

my ideas are just ideas ive done over the last 3yrs with my DS1 and the course