I am so tired of this, ds just doesn't get enough sleep during the day!!!!!!

[Miss.B]

So, DS is almost 14 months. He's never been a great sleeper during the day but good at night. He's always pretty much survived on one sleep a day. When he was very little that one sleep could be anywhere between 30 to 45 minutes in the mornings, and if I was lucky a 30 minute nap in the afternoon. But basically one short sleep a day and a devil of a child around 5 pm (extremely over tired). However, things changed at around 9 months when he would go down for 1.5 to 2 hours a day, around 11 am and that seemed to be just enough to get him through the day. We were all happy. But then a few weeks ago, it's back to around 1 hour, once a day. It is simply not enough. He displays all the tired signs around 3 pm but will not go down. I've tried a few different things but no luck. I am sooooo tired of this, why is he like this???? If he is so damn tired in the afternoon, why won't he just cuddle into his blankie and has a nap?????????? The other thing is, when he is so dog tired, sometimes DF takes him in front of the TV for cuddles and he sometimes goes down around 5 pm. The only thing is, he then goes to bed really late which is also unacceptable! What am I doing wrong??????? Here is a typical day time routine (maybe I am obviously doing something wrong):

Wake up 7-7.30 am - bottle of cow milk
Breakfast is at 8.30-9 am (weetbix or porridge or cheereos or toast/banana etc)
Nap around 10.30-11 am for around 1 hour
Lunch 12.30 - 1 pm (pasta or soup or rice with veggies, small portions, then some stewed apple)
Then play play play play until he starts rubbing eyes and cuddles into his blankie, BUT DOES NOT WANT TO SLEEP (unless we're out and we're driving but I don't want that to become a habit just so he sleeps).
Snack 3 pm - usually a yogurt/fruit
Dinner 5-5.50 pm (what we eat plus a jelly or more stewed apples)
Bath 6.30-7 pm
Last bottle of milk at 7.30 then bed around 7.30-8 pm.

Can you see something obviously wrong or have you got any suggestions of what I could try?

Ta.

[LizLemon]

I'm trying to think back to what DS did at that stage. From memory he went down for a nap at about half eleven for an hour and a half or two hours, and then I would put him back into his cot at about four/half four. I would only leave him in for an hour, and would often put a book in with him so that if he didn't want to sleep he could just read, but either way he knew it was his "quiet time". Most of the time he would just lay there and chatter but if he was really tired he would sleep. This got us through to a bed time of 7:30 and he wouldn't be such a demon over dinner time.

I am by no means a sleep expert but the other thing maybe you could try is drag him out a bit longer in the morning before his nap - he will be more tired and may be more inclined to sleep for a bit longer?

[*Efjay*]

Hate to say it but my kids all dropped day sleeps by 18 montths. Sure they needed it but they didn't want it!

[Livinthedream]

We just do an hour or so quiet time at about 4. It doesnt stop the demon time, but at about 5 we go and lock the animals up ie go for a 1/2 hr walk. then its bath, dinner, telly etc that fills up the rest of the day.
Can you just put a movie on late arvo, so that even if he doest sleep, you get to have a sit down and coffee without him being in your face KWIM?
And yes, see if you can drag out the morning sleep till 12....

[Junglemum]

My dd went to one sleep at about that age. I'd give her an early lunch and put her down at about 11.30-12.
Maybe he only needs one nap now?

[Bella29]

I was forcing my DD to have day naps up till recently when she quite obviously didn't want them. Finally not able to make her any longer, without it being a BIG deal I just let it go. Since she stopped having day naps she goes to bed by about 6-7 and is awake 6-7 with one-2 wake-ups a night. One of the keys for us was watching her signals in the arvo when she didn't have a nap to get her into bed earlier than her previous 7-8 bedtime. We followed the no cry sleep solution key point that says when you see them show signs of tiredness in the evening even if they haven't had dinner and bath just put them to sleep. So DD missed dinner and a bath for awhile till we got better at getting her dinner by 5.

TBH tho whatever happens this is just what kids do... It isn't you being a bad mother. You sound like you are doing it all right. Kids just change and we have to work with them sometimes. Also I don't think 7.30-8 is particularly late. He is getting 12 hours sleep overnight from the sounds of it. You will probably find if you bring his sleep earlier then he will wake up earlier. That has happened to DD. She used to go to sleep at around 7.30-8 and then wake up at 7.30-8. I must say that I enjoy the quiet time with DH in the evenings tho. Good luck. I hope you find something that works for you

[Miss.B]

Ladies, thanks so much for your replies, I will certainly try a few different things!

Bug'sMum, I have tried stretching out his late morning nap but the problem is that if he doesn't go down when he's really tired he just comes alive and gets really overtired in the end and quite often misses out on his day sleep altogether! It's just so annoying! I try and make sure he gets his late morning sleep at home, but if we're out in the morning I always try and rush back home by about 11 as he often falls asleep in the car on the way back home, and because most of the time we don't have to drive far & we're home fairly quickly, when I'm taking him out of the car he wakes up and then comes alive and refuses to sleep! My DF says don't worry if he only sleeps for 10-20 minutes but that's no where enough for him especially if he doesn't get that second nap in the afternoon. I have tried putting him in his cot when the rubbing of the eyes, pulling the blankie to his face, grabbing at his ears happen, but he will only stay there for 10 minutes tops and then starts whingeing to take him out!

Efjay, you're scaring me!!!!! lol

Livinthedream, it sounds like you have a good routine with your little one, I just don't think DS knows what 'quiet time' means! He's always full of beans, lol. Always on the go. Because we've had the best weather over the last couple of weeks, DF took him out heaps in the back yard, riding his car, tricycle, swing etc, and you'd think all this fresh air would make him tired! Not. Now the weather has turned a bit nasty, I don't know what we'll do as he loves outdoors!

Jungle mum, I will try giving him an early lunch, and I think I have done this on a couple of occasions and he slept for longer on a full tummy......

Bella, he is getting plenty of sleep during the night, I actually thought maybe that's why he doesn't think he needs any during the day but he does need it as the few times he went without it he was so overtired I struggled to get him to sleep at night. A few times on the days of no sleep he's fallen asleep in the late afternoon and then he'll sleep for an hour or so and then wakes up all grumpy cos he's still tired, and then it's dinner bath and bed by around 9ish. That for me is way too late as I don't get any 'me' time cos he's up late! Just doing my head in

Thanks again ladies, I will firstly try the early lunch and stretching out his late morning nap as with one big 2 hour nap he seems happy, but it's just getting him to sleep for at least 2 hours is the trick! I'll then do a quiet time at around 4, I'll ready him some books etc (which he only wants to slam shut and throw on the floor, nice!).

Just a quick update for yesterday....

Got up at 7.30, fell asleep at 11, woke up at 12, had lunch, got the tired signs going at around 3, tried to put him down to no avail, fell asleep on DF at 5, woke up at 6, had dinner, bath, then went down at 9.20. Luckily I wash watching the loggies and told DF to deal with him!!!!!! But that is not a routine I want!!!!!!!!

B xoxoxo

[[M]umma[M]ia]

At that age my DD was only having one sleep. There is no way I could get her to slee long if I put her down @ 10:30-11am without lunch. She too would wake up in an hour for lunch. Maybe time to introduce some morning tea and then lunch abit ealier and a sleep in the middle of the day. That way it makes sense yeah? If you devide the day in 2 then he is up for the same amount of time in the morning and the arvo. So for eg.... up at 7am, down at 12pm, sleep for 2 hours, bed at 7pm. So 5 hours up, 2 hours down, 5 hours up. Anyway, just a thought. Hope he sleeps better for you soon

[Taurean]

DD was still having two decent sleeps at that age but all kids are different At 14 months DD would wake around 7.30 and have breakfast immediately, then play time, then a bottle before her nap around 9.30. Yup, she was happy to go back to bed after 2 hours which amazed me! She'd normally sleep for 2 hours then we'd head out for the day and she'd nap again around 3 for an hour, sometimes earlier.

We moved to one day sleep early this year so 16/17 months. She normally goes down around 12 for 2-3 hours but I adjust the time she goes down depending on what time she woke or what our plans are for the day. For example we are seeing Dorothy this afternoon and need to leave the house just after 2 so I'll put her down for her nap around 11 and she'll have lunch when she wakes.

HTH

[onthefly]

MissB I apologise, I haven't read all the posts. I just want to answre your question quickly - I don't hitnk you're doing anything wrong. Some kids just don't sleep enough. It sucks arse.

[Miss E]

MissB I apologise, I haven't read all the posts. I just want to answre your question quickly - I don't hitnk you're doing anything wrong. Some kids just don't sleep enough. It sucks arse.

Couldn't have said it better! And sadly I have one like that

[Miss.B]

Thanks ladies! Really appreciate all your comments, they are very helpful

MummaMia, I tried what you do with your DD today and what the other lovely mummies suggested.....DS woke up at 7.30, and I stretched his late morning nap till 12, got lunch into him around 11.45 just when he was starting to rub his eyes, then he slept from 12 till 2 pm!!!!! I couldn't believe it. He woke up all happy and then I fed him at 5 pm and then he started crying for no reason (so I thought), he looked pretty red in the face so I checked his temp, 38 degrees, gave him some panadol and he dosed on and off for half an hour, then about 7.30 I gave him his bottle and he just fell asleep, he was just not himself and very clingy. So I think he did get enough sleep today but the temp. threw him and I suspect it's his teeth as his poo is on a runny side and he keeps sticking his little fingers in his mouth. Poor bugger.

Taurean, I wish my DS loved his sleep like your DD!!!! I looooooooove my sleep but my DF is a '6 hour is enough' person so maybe DS is like daddy?????

MadB, thanks hun, it does suck arse big time!! Especially as you don't get that decent break during the day for just a bit of 'me' time..

Miss E, I feel for you too. Maybe they will be excellent sleepers when all the good ones start playing up???? hehehehehehe

Thanks again everyone

B xoxox

[onthefly]

Tha's right B, you blame your husband!

[Taurean]

If it's any consolation, DD was a crappy day sleeper from 5 weeks until 6 months! It does suck so much when they won't sleep Hopefully your DS will find his groove with one day sleep

Oh, an you most certainly aren't doing anything wrong! You're doing a great job. Toddlers (and babies) and sleep can be a real guessing game sometimes. You're not alone hon