What qualities do you look for?

[BrightSparkles]

in a best friend (or any friends for that matter)? What do you do when you can't find friends/make friends that share the same ideals/values beliefs or have these qualities? Are you a loner?

[Junglemum]

I look for honest, real people. I don't mind if we have different values or beliefs. In fact i'm pretty sure i have some very opposing beliefs to some of my very close friends. I try to accept people for who they are and their differences are are part of that.

I don't like people who are pretending to be someone else.

[Rouge]

Yeah that. Totally agree 100%

I think it's also important to be honest with yourself in a friendship. We are all flawed, and that is ok. Communication and understanding goes a long way too. Goodluck!

[Junglemum]

I just noticed the tag line under your name Cindy.....

"Don't be afraid to let them show, your true colours" That about sums it up. Find friends who you can show your true colors to and they love you just the same. I love that song. I'm so 80's.

[Catastrophic]

Friends that are honest, open, caring,


Love MN ;-)

[Colin Holmes]

For me the most important thing is honesty and humor, being able to talk openly and sharing with the other person without being judged or disrespected, that is enough for me to build a beautiful friendship on. I have friends who share total opposite believes about life than my own and I find it most interesting to listen to those people who have a totally different view of life because I can learn so much from them.

[8weeks]

I love honesty, and high on my list of must-haves is open mindedness. I can't handle being judged by someone who's supposed to be a friend. Loyalty is important too..

I'm a bit of a loner, but I think that's because I choose to not open up to many.

[Sopdet]

For me there are layers of friendships, from acquaintance to those who are my besties, what I expect from and the qualities of each is different. Some people assume that those I have in my acquaintance group of friends have the same level of connection with me that those in the other levels of friendship.

Those in the inner layers I expect trust & integrity from, they don't have to have the same core values as I do, actually I've never found anybody who has matched my core values 100% and nor do I ever expect to.

[briggsy's girl]

Those in the inner layers I expect trust & integrity from, they don't have to have the same core values as I do, actually I've never found anybody who has matched my core values 100% and nor do I ever expect to.

i think if you expect a mirror image of yourself, you'll never have friends at all

i do have some traits that i consider "deal breakers" in terms of friendships - but they're not small things by any means! everyone has differences and as long as those differences aren't forced on anyone as "the only way", and any disagreement over beliefs is handled respectfully, it doesn't impact our relationship. the four people i am probably closest to (apart from DH) are so very different. one is a gay guy that i talk to daily, he sits downstairs at work. we talk about work, local life, DH (he is friends with him too), relationships (it's awesome having a guy friend to bounce things off with regard to DH, and he bounces relationship stuff off me as well). we have hugely different taste in everything but it works.
the other three are BB members who have very different backgrounds, very different beliefs (religiously), similar (but not the same) ideas on parenting, we're geographically nowhere near each other- the four of us talk most days in a group email chat - and it just works. we don't always agree, but we deal with it with respect and caring. two of them have stayed here (more than once) and the other is welcome ANY TIME (she just can't travel far enough to get here)

one thing i guess i expect is that, over time, the friendship is equal. i don't expect to be the one putting all the effort in, nor do i expect anyone else to do it. i like my friendships to be give and take. if i find a friendship is consistently one sided, i tend to let it died a natural death. i understand that there are times when people just can't put in the effort, and i don't cut things off over a week or something - it's when it becomes a constant thing over many months (usually nearer a year to 18 months)

i have other friends that i don't see or talk to for months but we always pick up where we left off because we have mutual respect etc

[Gigi]

i learnt the hard way, that being used like a doormat, is a dealbreaker for me. I love to help others, but have been taken advantage of, so now, i'm more wary. Ditto with lending money.

I agree with many of the above posters, friends don't need to be my carbon copy, but they do need to show me some tolerance, when we do things differently - respect each other's differences.

Dealbreakers for me are around what is lawful, and also the "isms". i have my own limitations e.g cigarette smoke sets off allergies, so i don't have any friends who smoke. I cannot be friends with people who are violent (to themselves, their kids, or others).

[Tinks]

I'm easy, I'll be friends with anyone who'll put up with me. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, I usually find people either like me or hate me as soon as they meet me

[fionas]

I like people who are interested in life and other people, are kind and funny. I don't like people who can't talk about anything but themselves and start sentences with "I was really offended when [insert some trivial thing]". Don't like being around women who talk about their looks and weight a lot or other people's looks and weight. I REALLY like people I can hang out in a sticky carpet pub with or at a fancypants restaurant (not that this happens these days).

[[M]umma[M]ia]

I'm easy, I'll be friends with anyone who'll put up with me. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, I usually find people either like me or hate me as soon as they meet me

Ive been told you are very loveable

[widdly]

I look for Intelligence, honesty, open mindedness, accepting, sense of humour

[Mak]

Honesty, caring and being able to have a laugh. Not too worried about things and stuff.