When can I ask about furniture?

[CoNNiE_Melb]

Friends of ours have split and are getting a divorce. Their house is now on the market... their house is filled with some beautiful furniture! At the same time, we are building a new (large) home and will be moving in over the next few weeks...

I would love to buy some of their furniture from them, is it rude to ask? Does anyone know what normally happens with furniture in this situation?

[RhiChiChi]

Ummm, unless they bring it up, I wouldn't ask ever! If they say they are going to sell it, then by all means tell them you are interested but I know when my sister & her long term partner spilt they worked out who took what, nothing was sold.

[LionsandBears]

Most people split the furniture and yes, it's rude to ask.

If they start selling things on ebay then you may mention your interest.

[helle]

Only a smidge! If it's that nice of furniture chances are they probably won't want to lose money on it by selling it off anyway.

[CoNNiE_Melb]

I'm not sure at this point what they will do with it. He has moved back in with his parents, and she is renting a small place.

They're pretty young with a young child, so its a tough situation for them...

[C~Q]

i don't think it's rude at all! How about "hey, if you decide to sell any furniture then I might be interested"...they can only say no. You don't ask you don't get!

[Lisa]

i don't think it's rude at all! How about "hey, if you decide to sell any furniture then I might be interested"...they can only say no. You don't ask you don't get!

I agree!

[Winter]

I wouldn't mention anything, I would be offended tbh if you asked me about furniture when my life was falling apart. Sorry chick..

[C~Q]

I guess it also depends on your relationship with him/her...if he's moving in with his parents and she's downsizing then they'll have to do something with their furniture. If you don't know her and she's a bit if a wreck then maybe don't ask lol but if you're close and she's ok then do it. I know I wouldn't have minded anyone asking me at the time and I could have done with the money...

[Amaunet]

I would definitely be offended if a friend was more focused on my furniture(for her lovely new home) than the fact my marriage had ended and I had to sell my home so IMO, dont ask, there isn't a good/right time.

[Rouge]

Yep I think it's highly offensive too. It's like asking about a deceased estate KWIM? In a way the marriage died, and she'll be grieving that and the possessions as they all would be associated with memories etc. I wouldn't ask at all even if it was an off the cuff remark. It's just not worth the risk of upsetting them KWIM?

[CoNNiE_Melb]

To be honest, if they were both a wreck I wouldn't even be thinking about it... I can imagine if you're hurting you wouldn't give a crap about your furniture, or want to talk about it.
But they're both doing quite well considering, they're on good talking terms, and seem comfortable with their decision to split. We are quite close with him, he is DH's cousin and their DD is our god daughter.

We are seeing him next week, he will probably end up telling us their plans for everything anyway. If he mentions the furniture, and a need to get rid of, I might tell him I'm interested. I don't want to force myself on them, or make them feel pressured to make a decision.

[Lisa]

I'm not saying that it is so, but what if she wasn't grieving the end of the marriage but happy that it is all over and ready to start anew? Only someone close enough can know whether it is okay to approach them over something like this. I know when my ex & I ended, I was more than happy to give things away as they reminded me of something I no longer wanted and I was wanting things to call my own with my own, new memories attached to them.

ETA - Sorry Connie, I was typing this when you posted.

[CoNNiE_Melb]

Btw, I absolutely understand what some of you are saying about it being offensive... It's exactly why Ive been questioning if I should or shouldn't... I feel like it's a fine line.

[krysalyss]

Why don't you ask where they got their furniture as you are thinking of getting something similar. It gives them an opening if they are thinking of selling it.

[Cass72]

I agree!

I agree too! You may actually be helping them out...