Yep I think it's highly offensive too. It's like asking about a deceased estate KWIM? In a way the marriage died, and she'll be grieving that and the possessions as they all would be associated with memories etc. I wouldn't ask at all even if it was an off the cuff remark. It's just not worth the risk of upsetting them KWIM?
I'm not saying that it is so, but what if she wasn't grieving the end of the marriage but happy that it is all over and ready to start anew? Only someone close enough can know whether it is okay to approach them over something like this. I know when my ex & I ended, I was more than happy to give things away as they reminded me of something I no longer wanted and I was wanting things to call my own with my own, new memories attached to them.
ETA - Sorry Connie, I was typing this when you posted.
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