HELP! MCHN says night BFing is causing DD's weight to be "Borderline" underweight

[goddessofdawn]

Just had my DD's checkup with the MCHN. She's 19.5 months.
I mentioned that she wakes at night and can only be settled with BFing.
DD weighs 9.45 kg, but she has always been small.
She started off around the 25th percentile, at her last checkup at 8 months was in between the 10th and 25th, and is now just above the 3rd percentile.

I was shocked because she loves food and never gives trouble to eat.
MCHN said that I need to night wean her because this is what is causing the weight problem, and that "She should be sleeping through the night".
I was told I shouldn't listen to what other mums say about their children who still wake at night. i.e. It's not normal.

She didn't give me any techniques on HOW to night wean, except to just try and rock her, tap her, but not BF her.
And to deal with day naps without BFing first. (I dared not tell her that DD has day naps LYING ON MY LAP BFing!! Haha!!!)

Can anyone please give me some point-by-point instructions on how to stop BFing for day naps, and night weaning too? Would love to know how you dealt with it, and what I should expect....

[~Stoked~]

If you are happy to continue then just don't listen to the health nurse! My 18 month old is still BF'd to sleep and I have no intention of stopping anytime soon. He also wakes through the night still. He has only slept through 3 times, ever. I have night weaned him though, I just started offering him water instead, but that's only because I'm due to have another bub soon and I didn't want to be feeding two during the night.
I'd like to know what the CHN defines as 'normal'!
You're doing a great job! Don't let anyone plant seeds of doubt xx

[Freya]

Um how would night weaning affect weight? Id brush off everything she's told you and keep doing what your doing if it works for you. My Ds was a night breastfeeder til he weaned at 13mths and still wakes during the night for milk................and he is 2.5 and a hefty 16.5kgs; even at 12mths and night breastfed he was a good 11kg.

If she is that concerned about your daughters weight growth she should tell you to see a paeditrician to investigate other issues.

[goddessofdawn]

OHHHH!!!! Forgot to say that she says I AM AFFECTING HER DEVELOPMENT!! Because if she wakes during the night, she is being sleep deprived and so during the day she won't learn properly etc!!
She equated it to being on a long-haul flight and being dead tired but not being able to sleep... apparently this is what I am doing to DD!! She wants to sleep, but I haven't taught her how to self-settle!

I tend to think that DD just needs to eat bigger portions, and have more meat, as her diet is mostly vegetables, fruits, grains. Maybe this could be the cause for the low weight?? And easily fixed too!

[black_rose]

I agree ignore the mchn and if you are worried see a pead instead. If you wean and don't replace the feeds she would drop even more weight! Most likely she is just little, not everyone is at the top of the scales.

[black_rose]

Forgot to add dd1 didn't get to 10.kg until she was 2 and even as a premmie it wasn't a concern.

[Jellyfish]

Did she explain more about how night feeding was affecting weight gain? It isn't as though it can be displacing solid food calories if it is at night when she wouldn't be having other meals anyway... seems like it would be adding more intake?

My 27 month old still has a couple night feeds oops! She's little but I'm little so never really even thought about it.

ETA: I think it sounds like rubbish btw! Do what you feel is right

[goddessofdawn]

Thanks all! Yes Black_Rose, I agree.... DD has always been tiny - it's not as though she started off huge and suddenly lost weight! She's always been tiny!! I think I will just make sure she has more meat in her diet, and increase her portion sizes, and give her more things like cheese slices to snack on... what do you all think?

[MummaSue]

That health nurse sounds like an idiot babe, you're doing a great job. And I've actually heard the opposite about babies waking in the night - apparently they're smarter because they get more stimulation. :P

If you're happy with the way things are going, then why change them? My DD has gone from being around the 75th percentile to just over the 10th and she's still happy, healthy and meeting all of her milestones - and she wakes 2 hourly overnight most nights.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And those charts are a bit outdated anyway (and based on FF babies) - there are new charts on the WHO website which are for breast fed babies and plotting my DD on there, it's all good.

Hugs lady, you're doing great

Just realised you wanted some advice on how to wean - the ABA website has some wonderful information on there.

[STARRYSKY]

I have only JUST night weaned my DS, but he still wakes up, henow gets a guzzle of water then goes straight back to sleep.
I pretty much followed this Sleep, Changing Patterns In The Family Bed | Jay Gordon, MD FAAP, I really liked the way this guys stuff spoke to me, so if you decide that night weaning is what YOU would like to do, it sall in there for you.
Best of luck and I personally take everything the MCHNS say with A LOT of salt!

[black_rose]

That's what we did, slowly increase her food making sure she had morning and afternoon snacks. She weaned her night feeds at 2.5.

You can also try a multivitamin as the iron can help with the appetite.

[goddessofdawn]

Did she explain more about how night feeding was affecting weight gain?

Apparently because she is feeding during the night, it's affecting her daytime appetite. Which, now that I think about it.... is just plain silly!!! She's not guzzling litres of milk every night! Most night she wakes once, and feeds for a maximum of half an hour.

I just didn't like being told that I am hindering my DD's growth and development!... DD is as sharp as a tack!

[Heaven]

Oh jeez, I would be ignoring her too How is letting her have more feeds making her not gain weight??

I think your plan sounds good, i.e. more meat etc. If she needs more she'll eat more, if she doesn't she won't, simple!

And pfft on the sleeping through thing. I know A LOT of kids who didn't sleep through til over 2 years, it's NORMAL!!

[goddessofdawn]

You can also try a multivitamin as the iron can help with the appetite.

Can you recommend the multivitamin you use? And can you get them from supermarkets?

[NaeNae]

I cannot see how night weaning will help your little toddles gain weight. Your MCHN sounds a bit suss to me.

My DD is 19.5 months and still night wakes. I did stop night feeding her about 3-4 months ago because she wouldn't settle back to sleep and instead thought boobies were a play thing, she'd be up for 2-3 hours playing before going off to sleep again. I took the boob away and handed her nightly wakings to her daddy because I was just so sick of being a play thing for her. Daddy STILL gets up to her 1-3 times a night. Sometimes she just needs a burb and its straight back to sleep, sometimes she's cold and needs her covers put back over her and sometimes she'll wake right up for an hour or so ....... she ALWAYS make up for it the next day though if she has a really bad night.

I do think its a good idea to offer more food or maybe offer some yoghurt before bed? (along with her trusty BF to sleep) If she eats it great, if she doesn't then she's probably full.

We give DD food until we can see she is clearly full. then its her bath then a book then yogurt and another book then bed. there is a good 45 min from teat to bed time. We have chosen this from our own experience with DD not wanting to settle if her tummy is too full.

ATM she goes into her room for boobie and bed at 8.30 but this week its been after 10 before she will go to sleep for me. I take boob off her once she gets that real comfort sucking thing going and is not falling asleep.

I am also pregnant atm so I find bf for more than 10/15 mins rather painful.

[goddessofdawn]

I pretty much followed this Sleep, Changing Patterns In The Family Bed | Jay Gordon, MD FAAP,

Thanks so much Starrysky, that sounds wonderful!!

[misty]

IMHO, alot of MCHN's don't know what they are talking about and should just keep their mouths closed.

My DS1 has always been underweight for his hight (right from birth). We also had a MCHN try to give the same advice to us. I mentioned it to the doctor, who was horrified - he needed all the feeding he would take, whenever he was demanding it!

I will be honest and say that DS1's weight (or lack of) has caused him health problems. He is much more susecptable to virus' and infections then his much heavier siblings; and we have had to deal with iron and other vitimin and mineral deficencies too. Nowdays he is on a childrens multivitimin, and despite his slender physic he's health is much improved. He will still only eat when he wants to eat (you cann't force feed him), but this is just how he is built.

If you are concerned about your child being underweight, talk to your doctor - not the nurse. You doctor will be able to run any test to ensure that there is not any underlying medical condition; and provided there isn't then it may just be a case of you happen to have a skinny bub. In which case the best thing you can do is just try to ensure they are eating a wide range of healthy foods and getting all the different vitimins and minerals they need.

Good luck.

[Jellyfish]

One thing I will say is you are definitely not hindering your DD's development in anyway - breastmilk contains so many good ingrediants that support brain development! You're doing a good thing