Want to TT but DD doesn't appear interested

[snowchickie79]

DD is 3 in August and I REALLY would like to TT her soon, in fact was thinking school holidays is a perfect time as I'm home so that is next week.

Trouble is she is showing no interest in it whatsoever! ATM she has a very nasty nappy rash which has even broken the skin. I always say that "big girls do wee wee and poo poo in the toilet" and she gets it, she says it back, she just has no interest in doing it herself. She does occasionally ask to go to the toilet but when i take her it's more of a "sit and read a book with Mummy" moment rather than her doing anything on there.

About a month ago we got rid of her bottles and she says now "i'm a big girl" but I'm not sure how to approach the next "big girl" step.. Needing some guidance or direction on what I can do/try to get the process started but i'm expecting this is not going to be an easy thing as she is not at all fussed having either a wet or dirty nappy - she essentially ignores it and doesn't tell us unless we see/smell it. She does occasionally say "i do a wee wee" or "I do a poo poo" but it's either during or after the event and it's not every time.

Hopefully next step is TT and then the final big girl step of no dummy! Both of which i don't think are going to be easy or smooth.

[Just Me]

My DD was only a little younger than yours when we decided to TT. We used the Positive Parenting model and did a whole heap of role play.

Pretty much the idea is that you plan a day when you will be home all day (or for a couple of days in a row). Grab her dolly and talk her through dolly needing to do a wee. First dolly comes and tells mummy that she needs to do a wee, then you take dolly to the toilet/potty, pull down her undies, sit dolly on the toilet and dolly does a wee (it works best if dolly is one that you can fill with liquid and squeeze so that your DD can see the wee coming out but we didn't have one and just tipped a bit of water into the toilet to give DD the idea).

Then we practiced DD being the mummy while I played the dolly and we took dolly to the toilet. Then DD practiced being the dolly.

Once I thought she had the hang of it, I gave her lots to drink, put some undies on her and we waited.

In the end, I had the potty in lounge room in front of the TV. DD held her wee for four hours and I was getting ready to put a nappy on her for nap time. We decided to put her on the potty in front of the TV and let her pick a DVD to watch. 20 mins later she did her first wee in the potty! It took a couple of days for her to get the hang of it but she never had an accident - more that she would hang onto for too long because she hadn't quite figured out how to let it out.

TT her for poo took another long 6 months (she would hold on and do it in her sleep or get really constipated). So I would say focus on wee to start with.

Hope that helps ... good luck

[NaeNae]

Do you have a friend who is TT? have heard of kids who are not interested until they see someone else doing it.

On the other hand, if she is not ready within herself I wouldn't push it.

Best of luck hun x

[Beach Mama]

My DS is 3 in October, so a bit younger, and up until 4 weeks ago he also showed no interest. What we did though was have undies around for him and would ask him if he wanted to wear them, most often he would say no. We also had the potty around all the time, and again would ask him. This was over the course of around 6 mths and about 4 weeks ago he finally said, yep and since then has basically trained himself and has barely any accidents. My DD also trained herself but she was a bit younger, however with both my advice would be, don't push it if she isn't ready. I really think that if you offer the opportunity and keep talking about it that when they are ready they will let you know!

Good luck!

[Traveller]

If she is not interested and you try to persuade her then you risk making her stubborn to do what she wants and remain in nappies so don't make too big a deal about it. In this situation with my children (2 of mine were not interested) I used a potty rather than the toilet and kept it in the livingroom for easy access. I got a packet of chocolate drops and they got one every time they sat on the potty, and 2 if they did anything in it. If she likes stickers or has a sticker chart then that would work well too if you don't want to use a food reward. Anyway that worked with my kids but as I say don't put too much pressure on her and if she really doesn't want to then just leave it and try again in a few months.

[feeb]

DS1 is nearly 3 and not at all interested! He went thru a phase a few months ago at going and sitting on toilet and flushing then wee on floor or in nappy when put back on!! We keep saying to him big boys go to the toilet and he cracks it!! He goes to CC 1 day a week and OCC 5 hrs a week so sees other kids go but he is not keen!!

[Ozziehoffy]

Oskar was about 2 1/2 I think when he TT'd wees but poos.. about 3 1/2 ... that was a hellish journey. I let him lead it cos I saw so many of my friends pushing and trying when they were ready but the kids weren't and their TT journeys were very long and full of "accidents"... Oskar went from nappy on to undies and made the decision himself that he was ready and has had like 2 or 3 accidents. So, my opinion is to wait.. and yes, we did that "reading on the toilet" thing too for a rather long time lol. I think that can be the start of it and it's about them getting comfortable with the whole idea and process

[snowchickie79]

Thanks for the replies..
DD goes to DC 2 times a week so she does see the other kids going the toilet (and we have plenty of friends with kids who are toilet trained also) so I'd love her to TT as her nappies are obviously causing her pain at the moment with the nappy rash. I have caught about 3 wee's in the potty or toilet (she has both a potty and the little seat that sits inside our normal toilet and will happily sit on either) over the past few months but nothing consistent so I think they were just flukes.

TT'ing and if your child is still in nappies seems to be one of those topics that others always ask and sometimes give that "funny" look when you say they are still in nappies. I was getting that about her milk bottles as she only got rid of them a month ago and I'm glad they are gone but I still get the "look" sometimes as she is in nappies, has a dummy and is still happily sleeping in her cot.

I've heard that rushing them to TT can only make it more difficult but when i see her in pain like she is with this nappy rash I just sometimes think I should give it a go.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

DS started to TT himself before he turned 2 - then decided against it. Even at his daycare he wasn't fussed, despite his friends using the loo happily.

His mate came round and used our loo one day. Instant TT achieved, dry at nights (95% of the time). He was three and a half. I really didn't care what people said about him: he's my child, not theirs, I know what's best for him. Plus he is so skinny cloth nappies kept his trousers up, he is exposing his bum a lot more now.

[Ozziehoffy]

Plus he is so skinny cloth nappies kept his trousers up, he is exposing his bum a lot more now.

lol cute!!!

Oskar didn't care about his friends doing poos in toilets etc either... I think when they're ready and they decide then it's a pretty fast and instant thing for most kids.... I just didn't want the agony of a year of TT like I've seen some friends go through... thanks, but no thanks lol. Oh and yes, I KNOW those looks... nosey parkers! All kids are different in these things, my first was TT day and night before he was 2!! Oskar, yeah different kettle lol. Elijah, he is 26 months and shows NO interest in it at all... he watches Oskar go but if I ask him if he wants to he chucks a mini tanty lol.

[CrazyLady]

DD is home TT now wee and poo. Out and about she gets too distracted as of yet. We started gradually by waiting until after her bath of a night when she'd got a cooler breeze on her tummy and wees would occur. All of a sudden she realised that she was more comfortable in the undies we let her try on than a wet/pooed in nappy. For now we keep the potty handy in the lounge and gently remind her every 30-40 minutes that it's there if she needs it. She'll get all excited when she does wees or poos. Today after her nap she automatically asked for "unders" on (undies) and when I asked if she needed the potty before her undies went on her reply was "yes, poos".

I think she's done it because we didn't push her though but just let her know it was possible. This doesn't mean that she doesn't have accidents although 3 accidents in 6 days isn't a bad thing. Saying all this though she was showing heaps of signs she was ready prior!

[Just Me]

TT'ing and if your child is still in nappies seems to be one of those topics that others always ask and sometimes give that "funny" look when you say they are still in nappies. I was getting that about her milk bottles as she only got rid of them a month ago and I'm glad they are gone but I still get the "look" sometimes as she is in nappies, has a dummy and is still happily sleeping in her cot.

My DS1 is 3yo now and still in a nappy when we leave the house. He does use the toilet for wee at home but can't remember when we go out. We have tried letting him go without a nappy but it doesn't help him remember any better so it is just easier for everyone to keep him in nappies. I know that look ... DS1 was still in nappies, DD1 (who has just turned 4) only got rid of her dummy a month ago. People are so judgmental sometimes but I figure that it only affects us and we weren't bothered by it so what does it matter. I am not into pushing my kids too hard to give up dummies or be toilet trained, they do it eventually. I do give gentle encouragement, but if they're not ready, they're not ready.

[snowchickie79]

Ok good - got my "it's ok to wait" so I feel better again now.
DD has pretty much done things at her own pace and I've allowed that as I don't see the point in pushing her. I did intervene on the milk bottle part because she was drinking 1/2 litre of milk a day and eating very little food (was not having any breakfast but have at least 1 x 260ml milk and usually a 1/2 refill, barely having anything for lunch and only grazing at dinner) so that has completely reversed and she is eating like a horse now. I'd tried twice before to get rid of the bottle and she was beside herself crying so I gave it back, this time she gave it up with very little issue - asked me about 3 times for it and I said she was a big girl and she didn't argue with me about it. So I think she was much more ready to give it up this time.

I think I'll just keep up with the whole idea of the toilet and make sure she knows it's there and she can use it. Because I work from home and also teach a few days a week it's hard when she wants to sit on the toilet for 40 minutes reading books so i'll have to work something out with that one, maybe putting her potty in the lounge room might solve that.

Still not sure when i'll change her to a normal bed (her cot converts) or when I'll try to get rid of the dummy - I would like the dummy gone before I worry too much about her bed as she sleeps well in it, and doesn't try to climb out and usually sleeps till about 8am but is known to sleep past 9am if she has had a big day prior, she still has a few hours during the day and is in bed between 7.30 and 8.00pm so I think that'll be the last thing I try to change.

[CrazyLady]

I'd wait until after you change bed to get rid of the dummy. It's one of those comfort things. DD started relying on her's more after she changed bed (although she chose when to go into her own bed too). Every child does do things at their own pace and it's a good thing to support them in those choices hun! All you can do at the end of the day is nurture them in their choices and it'll all work out in the end.