It's just not fair..

[thefrayedcoat]

Hi, I'm super new here but I stumbled upon this site through another one and read the stories here and couldn't help myself. I feel like I'm in good company.

I'm 25. On July 4th, my boyfriend (of two years) and I found out we were expecting our first child! It was my first pregnancy and we were just so full of joy, so excited and happy about the change our lives were about to take.

Unfortuantely, we found out on July 22nd that it was a miscarriage. I was 7 weeks along. Four days later and it's still something I think about every second of every day. I can have all the distractions in the world (my job, my family & friends, books, etc) and I still can't stop thinking about my baby. What he or she would have looked like, what we would have named him or her. I see a pregnant lady on the street or a woman with her kids and I seriously just want to punch them all in the face.

All I've ever wanted in my life is to be a mom and I was SO THRILLED at the chance that my dream was going to be realized. I feel robbed, cheated, like I lost a part of myself. I'm so consumed with this anger and bitterness and I know it's not heathly, but I can't help it. My sister has five kids and I love my nieces and nephew more than life itself but all I can think now is "How is that fair? How do you get five little miracles and I can't even have one?"

Anyway. I don't like my state of mind these days but from what I've read, it's perfectly normal. I know how normal it is to lose a baby in the first 8 weeks too but it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

I just wish this never happened, that I was still pregnant and that in March of next year, my baby would be here. How in the world will ANY of this ever, ever make sense to me?

[tracyh]

Hugs. I have been there too, all I can suggest is take time to heal I lost my angel at 7w3d thx only other problem was I should have been 16 weeks along. This was last year and I still feel sad on certain days or if I see a pg women. Now I'm pg again And although I'm only 6w or so I feel confident yet so scared at the same time.
Don't be hard on yourself there was nothing you could have done. Now take time to heal you have found a good place here to come and vent I found so much support here.

[Diamond Girl]

Im sorry for your loss. I lost a baby one month ago and have felt those same emotions you have.

Its so hard to lose something you want so much, and so very unfair.

Thinking of you xx

[sloane]

i'm sorry you've had to find us through sad circumstances & i'm very sorry for your loss.

i hope you can find some solace amongst the bb community

[forshelby]

I felt all of these things after my loss at 8wks. That was over 3years ago now, but it still stays with me. I went on to have a healthy boy next time around, but I still think of my first baby.

The pain has stayed with me always, but it's changed. At first it was a sharp raw sensation, now it's a dull ache from time to time. I wish I could reverse everything and change what's happened to you but I can't. The only advice I have for you is to allow yourself to feel how you want to feel. Take your time and grieve as long as you need to.

[kristi14]

Sorry to hear of your loss.

The most important thing to do is allow yourself to feel these emotions, dont supress them. With time it does get easier, it might not seem like it now, but it does. Try not to get annoyed at yourself about the feelings you are having, its natural you have them, its your journey and there is no right or wrong way about it. Keep an open line of communication with your partner too, talking with him might help immensely.

Thinking of you xxx

[Tegam]

How in the world will ANY of this ever, ever make sense to me?

It wont....... but it just kind of gets better,easier....but never truely stops hurting.


I am so sorry for your loss. Please make sure you spend as much time as you need in here (bellybelly) Its a safe place where all your emotions..the good...the bad...the ugly are ok!


I hope that you get to hold your own little baby very soon!

[Beach Mama]

I am so sorry that you have experienced a loss.... THe pain eases but never goes away, for me it is 5 years since my m/c and it still hurts, I still wonder and even though I have 2 beautiful kids I still think of the baby I have lost. Be gentle on yourself, give yourself time to grieve.

[Yas]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You only just lost your Bub, it's so raw now hun. I have had 3 miscarriages, my last was august last year at 12 weeks. She was my little girl- I still cry for her. It does get easier with time- but I think it always hurts. Go easy on yourself, and just grieve. Xxxxxxxxx