Hi, I'm super new here but I stumbled upon this site through another one and read the stories here and couldn't help myself. I feel like I'm in good company.

I'm 25. On July 4th, my boyfriend (of two years) and I found out we were expecting our first child! It was my first pregnancy and we were just so full of joy, so excited and happy about the change our lives were about to take.

Unfortuantely, we found out on July 22nd that it was a miscarriage. I was 7 weeks along. Four days later and it's still something I think about every second of every day. I can have all the distractions in the world (my job, my family & friends, books, etc) and I still can't stop thinking about my baby. What he or she would have looked like, what we would have named him or her. I see a pregnant lady on the street or a woman with her kids and I seriously just want to punch them all in the face.

All I've ever wanted in my life is to be a mom and I was SO THRILLED at the chance that my dream was going to be realized. I feel robbed, cheated, like I lost a part of myself. I'm so consumed with this anger and bitterness and I know it's not heathly, but I can't help it. My sister has five kids and I love my nieces and nephew more than life itself but all I can think now is "How is that fair? How do you get five little miracles and I can't even have one?"

Anyway. I don't like my state of mind these days but from what I've read, it's perfectly normal. I know how normal it is to lose a baby in the first 8 weeks too but it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

I just wish this never happened, that I was still pregnant and that in March of next year, my baby would be here. How in the world will ANY of this ever, ever make sense to me?