Dad feeling left out and rejected

[courts&munchkins]

My husband was so excited to be having a little daughter after 2 boys and he loves her so much. He is starting to feel lft out and rejected however because little miss is very much a mummy's girl and won''t go to him at all. I give her to him and she just starts crying. Sometimes she will sit with him occasionally but if she can hear or see me she starts crying and wriggling ans trying to get back into my arms. Last night the boys begged mne to read them the story at bedtime so I did and gave little miss to hubby and she just burst into tears and would not settle for him the entire time I was with the boys. I think that helped him reach his point of frustration last night because whilst I was bathing her he said, "are you going to wean her off the boob anytime soon otherwise how am I ever going to bond with her. The boys were both bottlefed from fairly early on and my hubby loved giving them the occasional bottle. I feel so sorry for him because I can see how upset he gets everytime she rejects him. Has anyone had this problem??? Does anyone have any advice on ways that dd and hubby can spend some time together. He was hoping I know to feed her, her meals when she started solids but she rejected the spoon and only wants to feed herself finger food so I think he was pretty disappointed in that.

[Kazzo]

DD2 was exactly the same. We just slowly started having DH do things that I would normally do. First off I would be in the room, then after a few days I would just go in the beginning and now she is fine. All nappy changes while he was home, bathing the girls, holding her in the kitchen while I cooked dinner, burping her straight after a feed (still BF) Sitting next to her at meal times (doing BLS). Now DD2 loves been with her daddy. She still prefers me if she is really upset though, but so does DD1 and she is a daddy's girl.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

DD2 was very much like this, she has only just started asking for her dad.
She would scream if I left the room when younger.

My only tip, do things she enjoys as a family, get your take it in turns playing with toys she like etc. Hopefully that helps, I told DP he had to spend more time with BOTH girls not just DD1 because she was 'easier'


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- Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

[courts&munchkins]

She won't let him hold her at all. Even if I am sitting right beside them on the couch, she'll wriggle an lurch herself trying to get back into my lap. He'll play with her and she'll giggle and smile but she gets very upset if I pass her on to him to hold instead of me. She does this with everyone though. She has to be in a very good mood to let anyone else hold her. I'm missing out on time with my boys because things like storytime and that I either have her with me or she cries with her father. So it's not even when I left the room, she won't go to him when I'm in the room either.

[Kazzo]

Yeah, it can be hard. DD2 very rarely lets anyone hold her. If she does then I have to be there. It will take time and patience (like most things with kids). As she gets a little older she will hopefully get more confident with others. It is hard though ITMT. I hope that something works for you soon.

[~Raven~]

whilst I was bathing her he said, "are you going to wean her off the boob anytime soon otherwise how am I ever going to bond with her.

If he was bathing her instead of you there would be some bonding going on

[KimB]

If he wants to feed her have you expressed and let him try to do it in a bottle. He can still bond with her and she is still getting the booby milk Have him have a bath or shower with her and play with the toys. Even if she screams at the start she will get used to it. She is at an age though when they do seem to want their mums. But I would include DH in more things so that she gets used to him being there with her. Good luck

[RhiChiChi]

I don't know if this has anything to do with your DD being bf. My DD was the same & she ended up ff. I remember my FIL telling me 'his kids hated him' until they were about 8/9 months old - they just wanted MIL. Can you sit with your DH & your DD whilst they have a cuddle of something? I don't know what else to suggest
((hugs))

[Mak]

Hang in there! Dh had to take over some tasks rather then be helping to get DD1 to even notice him. I had to not be present otherwise she made a big fuss - in hindsight I should have made more of an effort earlier on rather than trying to help him with her. So bathtime and story time are his things and I try to get out of view. It took a while but we all got there. Good luck!