Alcoholism

[diannescruffy]

Not sure where to even start, I knew this day would come and it scares the crap out of me. DS16 got drunk last night for the first time at a supervised party but what scares me the most is that alcoholism runs in DH's side of the family. Once I got to DS last night and saw him I instantly got flashbacks of the past. I know this doesn't mean DS is going to be an alcoholic but it's just so hard to deal with. FIL died 2yrs ago from alcohol related disease, some people just don't understand how terrible of a disease alcoholism is, I just don't want my boy to suffer. Obviously from now on he won't be going to ANY party without me sussing it out completely but I can't supervise him 24/7. Deep down I knew he would experiment with alcohol but right now I wish alcohol never even existed, it just causes too many problems.

Regards,
Dianne

[Blixie]

DP's mum is an alcoholic and he has never touched a drop cos he has seen first hand what it does and he knows it's in his genes. Talk to your boy explain the dangers. Our girls will grow up in a dry household as we don't drink but i'm not stupid i know there will be parties etc. when they're teens. I just hope that by us being open and honest and teaching them that they have the genes and what alcoholism is and the effects on your body and life they will be sensible. Not looking forward to teenage years...

[Mel_B1981]

Alcoholism is in my family - my grandfather will not even have a bottle of wine in the house for Grandma to cook with after watching what it did to his father. My parents decided to take the aproach of letting me drink at home with them - if they had a glass of port with dinner (which they did most friday nights) I was offered one too (after I turned about 15-16 I think by memory). Then when I was 18 and we went to parties as a family where alcohol would be there I was asked if I would like a can or two of something to take with me.

Basically I feel they taught me how to enjoy the "odd glass/can" and not go stupid. I'm now 30 and have been drunk enough to throw up 3 times in my life, have never had a hangover and know how to go to a party and enjoy a drink.

[diannescruffy]

We do not have alcohol in the house and never will and the children know why. Responsible drinking is one thing but just doesn't exist with alcoholics.

Regards,
Dianne

[Mel_B1981]

Ahhh I understand now. Sorry - would never made that type of feedback had I realised that alcoholism was that close in DH's family....

[Chocaholic]

I have many not-very-fond memories of my sister's late teenage years and early twenties. She would drink quite a lot then throw up. My most vivid memory is when she came stumbing home drunk one night (thank god for the taxi driver who physically put her in the car, rummaged through her bag to find her mobile and called me to let me know he was bringing her home. I didn't even pay him and I have no idea what taxi company he was from but he was an angel!). She was so far gone she was hallucinating. She saw martians on the lounge room floor and the front door was talking to her. I was so scared. Mum and dad weren't home and I had no idea what to do.

Thankfully, she is now a mum to 3 kids and she has eased up a lot and only drinks occasionally now.

Anyway, the point is, my parents couldn't get anything through to her because in her words "they don't want me to have any fun". Yeah, must have been a thrill to puke your guts up every week. My parents made me research the effects of drinking on teenagers and young adults in all its glory in a bid to stop me doing the same thing. Some of the pictures I saw where so revolting. Now I very rarely drink and have never been drunk.

Maybe get him to research it on the internet (with you watching so he goes to the appropriate sites rather than those that glorify it) to really drum home the ramifications.

Good luck. I am sure it was as scary as hell!

[diannescruffy]

I just don't want his life to be ruined by alcohol and I pray so hard non of our children have inherited these genes.

Regards,
Dianne

[Aussiegirl777]

My Mum was an alcoholic. She passed away 2 years ago this November - her death was because she was an alcoholic.

My Dad is also an alcoholic.

I grew up in a not very nice environment. I don't drink very much at all but I do have the occasional drink. In my 40 years of life I have been drunk/sick/hungover only a couple of times.

I don't know what to tell you to assist you helping your Son understand the dangers of alcoholism. Mind you the 'addiction' can manifest itself in other ways as well - gambling, eating, sex addiction etc. I think that all teens will experiment with alcohol and most people can remember their first drunk experience....I guess it's just a matter of being open and honest with him. Don't force opinions down his throat. If he is responsible in other areas of his life and shows good common sense in general you may just have one less thing to worry about.

[Cherished]

I'm another one here who doesn't think your son is doomed just because alcoholism runs in your family Everyone is their own person. My grandfather was an alcoholic, he died when I was 2, how can that really effect my drinking behaviour? I think even if there is some little gene that may sway people towards a liking to alcohol kids will be more influenced by their own parents behaviour and those friends that they are closest to. I think empowering your kids with leadership resources and giving them confidence will go a long way in those social environments where alcohol is there. Lets face it you can't keep teenagers away from it so that's the next best thing. Other factors like out of school/work activities such as sports or hobbies also goes a long way to keeping kids focused on a healthy lifestyle rather than drinking themselves into a mess every weekend.

[Blixie]

I think even if there is some little gene that may sway people towards a liking to alcohol kids will be more influenced by their own parents behaviour and those friends that they are closest to.

While i think you have a point i just want to say that some people with family history of alcoholism and "the gene" do have an extremely addictive nature (and not necessarily to alcohol as Aussiegirl777 pointed out) . So may not be able to stop themselves or be able to moderate their drinking like others can... If that makes sense? I'm not very good with words but i'm trying lol I'm not saying that they pick up a drink and BAM they're an alcoholic but for some it only takes a few occasions where they are drinking and they feel they "need" it. It's not something to be taken lightly like so many young people do.

[diannescruffy]

Thanks Jessey, you said that so well. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he will definately have a problem with alcohol but with the family history I have that fear. We have always been open with the children, they know why we don't have alcohol in the house and the reason behind it. DH has been awesome today, talking to DS calmly, he's handled it very well. It's hard to explain, the fear I have, I'm probably just sounding like an over protective mum.

Regards,
Dianne

[diannescruffy]

Cherished1 the reason I posted in this section is because alcoholism is a disease, it's not a "little gene", it's a true gene that can be passed on, just like any other medical condition that runs in families. This is why I'm concerned and taking it seriously.

Regards,
Dianne

[Cherished]

Dianne I'm not suggesting you take it lightly. Far out, sometimes it's not worth offering any advice or an opinion on BB just to be attacked. I was trying to offer you some comfort that your ds probably wont turn into an alcoholic! I don't think I will bother in the future.

[Footsteps]

Hugs huni. My uncle died last year of alcoholism related illness. It's understandable why you are concerned hun and hopefully he will have learned a lesson xxxx


Sent from my iPod touch via Tapatalk xx

[diannescruffy]

I am not attacking you, I just want to get my point accross. When you say "little gene" to me that makes me understand you don't think it's serious.

Regards,
Dianne