VENT - We are not responsible parents

[diannescruffy]

As we don't let DS16 drink alcohol at home, according to my friend. I was telling her about his first experience and how he got drunk and she told me if we let him drink at home he would know how to control his drinking. I do understand why others allow their teens to drink but it just will not happen in our home and what makes it worse, she also knows the reasons why.

Regards,
Dianne

[Charlotte91]

Why should you let him drink in your home? He's 16! He doesn't need to drink til he's 18. My parents were VERY strick on that rule. I had my first drink about 6 weeks after my 18th.

I don't get what your friend is saying, at all. You have reasons why there is no alcohol in your house (and I completely understand why).

But, for crying out loud, he's only 16.

[alish]

she obviously lets her 16 yo drink at home, does she not think that s/he dosent drink if they go to a party cuz she lets them drink at home?

pffffffft to her - you are responsible parents!

[Emma09]

Don't listen to your "friend"
You are being responsible parents, by talking to him about the dangers of alcohol.

[diannescruffy]

I just don't understand why she doesn't understand everyone has different reasoning behing their parenting ways.

Regards,
Dianne

[alish]

[Pip82]

Each to their own I guess but I'm sure the research says dont give it to them at home. I don't think you are irresponsible at all.

[Rivlas]

Because of the reason you don't have any in the house and don't want him to drink then you are definately being a responsible parent.
Also isn't it against the law to give them alcohol til they are 18????

[fionas]

Hugs to you Dianne - as you've said, we all make different decisions and we should respect each others' rights to parent the way we see best. We all have slightly different definitions of responsible parenting and it's a shame that your friend can't respect your decision.

[PumpkinZulu]

I don't think there's anything wrong with 16 yo's experiencing alcohol in moderation in the home, UNLESS YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH IT. Geeze, who is she to say what you do and don't do in your home? Sure, it might work and is okay in other people's homes, and good for them, but especially seeing as she *knows* your reasoning, I find it so insensitive that she'd even insinuate that you're an irresponsible parent, let alone outright say it. Anyone here knows you're a great parent Dianne I too have things I will not allow in our house...it's not up to people to make commentary on your very personal decisions, and I'm sorry she did and made you feel how you are.

[~Kaz~]

I'm sorry that your friend can't respect your decision around/about this issue.

I totally agree with everything that PZ said too

[beansbeans!]

I just don't understand why she doesn't understand everyone has different reasoning behing their parenting ways.

Regards,
Dianne

I would assume that in her part, she would be justifying her own opinion. It makes it so much easier to condemn others who have a differing opinion to our own.

Dianne, I understand where you are coming from (well from what I have seen in your posts anyhow!) We dont have alcohol in our home, and DH and I are both on the path that we will not let our children drink before the legal age.

But as PZ has already said, each home is different and that should be respected to.

As parents we all try to make the best decisions for our own families and we shouldnt use our judgements to condemn another family because they do things differently to us.

[Footsteps]

your a brill mum dianne - some people shock me xxx

[Fleur]

I just don't understand why she doesn't understand everyone has different reasoning behing their parenting ways.

Exactly that... makes me wonder if perhaps she is trying to justify her own actions, by criticising yours?

[Kazbah]

Ahhh DS, that's not a friend. And in all seriousness, drinking when supervised at home, if it were a drink with supper, it wouldn't help in a party situation without parental supervision. I was allowed to sip alcohol from an early age, I still went out and got hammered at the first opportunity.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I was brought up drinking and guess what - drunken teen here too. Lack of alcohol at home doesn't make a drunken teen.

And it doesn't matter if I choose to (legally) allow my child alcohol in my home or not - if you don't for whatever reason then respect to you. Just as I would expect you to respect my decision. And if my DS got drunk at a party he'd be told off, just as yours would. Drinking a wine with dinner isn't the same as getting drunk and shouldn't ever be considered the same.

[helle]

Well... Does he reeeaalllly need all those lovely developing brain cells?

Just ignore her love x