Should DS start school next year - April Birthday ???

[Lukesmum]

I haven't been on here for a while but I really need to hear some opinions and experience replies. DS2 birthday is the 12th April. So he will still be 4 when he starts school. He will turn 5 in April. We are in NSW. I have no idea whether to start him next year (2012) or not. We held back our first DS for a year but his birthday is July 30th. DS2 goes to preschool 2 days a week and they had his name down as going to school next year but I told them we had decided not to send him. He is home today after being at preschool for 2 days and he is so bored. On the other hand he still wets his pants accasionally. His social skills are quite ok. Not sure what do. What do you think?

[Trillian]

Have you asked his preschool teacher what they think? They are usually pretty good at at assessing kids for school readiness. It is hard though - some kids are so hit and miss and some will be more than ready for school and others wont be. What is your gut feeling on it though? My eldest is a late Feb baby and we sent him at 4 (to turn 5 in 3 weeks of starting) and he was completely ready for school, but other kids who were the same age were either held back, or they have since repeated a year at school (we are also NSW). If it were me, I'd be doing all I could to help him prepare for school and even take him to orientation days with the view that he will start next year, and if you think that when the time comes he really needs the extra year at home, then keep him home. Plus, it is another 5 months before the new school year starts and by then he might be fine to go.

[diannescruffy]

It really depends on your DS. We kept DS back, he is April too, he just wasn't ready though. I'd have a chat to his pre-school teacher as Trillian said. All the best.

Regards,
Dianne

[Lukesmum]

Thanks Trillian for your reply. I will pick the enrolment form up today. Like you said 5 months is still a while away. I'll put his name down for orientation and see what the teachers think. Like you said when it comes to Feb if I think he's not ready I just won't send him. It just worries me that there will be kids in his class that are a full year older than him. My other DS is one of the oldest so it was never a problem.

[Lukesmum]

Thanks Dianne - My husband really wants to keep him home for another year but he really babies him. It's a difficult decision because I don't want to hold him back from learning but on the other hand like you said Dianne if he's not ready I don't want to make a mistake and send him.

[berrme]

Sounds to me like your only real concern is that he still wets his pants sometimes and 5 months is a very long time when it comes to gaining better bladder control. If the preschool teacher had concerns they should have expressed them to your by know. If he is bored at home now then I would think that he is ready.
I think you need to remember that the prep/ preschool year is designed to get kids ready for real school. It is learning the very basics and lots of play and social skills. No matter what age they make the first year of school there will be kids who come from backgrounds where they have had no educational influences. So it has to be really basic. I second going to check out the school and facilities. I went for prep open day yesterday and it is really just like the preschool room that my DS has been in at daycare. DS didn't want to leave as the playgrounds were so great.

[Lukesmum]

I think you are right Berrme. It is mainly the wetting pants and it will prob get better as the weather gets warmer too. Preschool haven't said anything to me about any problems and they had his name on the big whiteboard as going to big school next year. They even sent the school starter pack home. Maybe I should do all the paperwork and get orientation under way and then make the final decision at the end of January. I think DH is another factor. He really thinks he is not ready but he is not here all day and only sees him for an hour at night when a 4 year is tired and ready for bed

[Trillian]

To try to ease your mind a bit, try not to worry about the age difference and what that means in terms of learning once he's at school. I know with my own DS, that he is in the top 5 students in his year group out of nearly 50 kids, he is even ahead of most of the year 6 kids as well. Age often means little when it comes to actually learning at school. Once at school he will be assessed and taught what he needs to be taught. I'm at uni studying to be a primary teacher and I've just finished my first prac and one thing I noticed was that in any year group you can have such a wide variation of ability and the teachers allow for that and give them extra help if they need it. And when he does orientation, the teachers will be able to give you an idea as well.

[berrme]

I think DH is another factor. He really thinks he is not ready but he is not here all day and only sees him for an hour at night when a 4 year is tired and ready for bed

Very true, there is a huge difference between my DS's maturity during the day and in the evening. He is also different at preschool to at home. I believe that it is often the parents who are scared about big steps like starting school.
Have you asked your DS what he thinks about going to school? My DS was in the preschool room at daycare last year too, and he was upset when most of his friends moved on at the end of the year and he was still there. He wanted to go to big boy school with the other kids.

Do you need to get approval to keep them back in NSW. I think in QLD you need to have meetings and evaluations etc to have them start a year later.

[Lukesmum]

No, you don't need approval in NSW. I just picked up the enrolment form. The secretary at school couldn't really understand why I would hold him back if he had an April birthday but anyway we will see how orientation goes.

[MrsFabuloso]

My DD is 5 on the 17th April. We are in NSW too. I am going to hold her back for the year. She is ready and I have no doubt she would cope, but I want to give her the opportunity to be a little girl for that little bit longer. She will be going to school for many years to come (even if she doesn't go to tafe or uni or what ever!) and really in the grand scheme of life, what's one more year at home when she's 4yrs old? She can sit still for grouptimes, count, write her name, ask for things she needs, dress herself, toilet independantly, wipe her nose, open food packages ect.....all those things they look for when looking at school readiness. She can do all of that already. But I just feel like it's better for us, for her, that she has that one more year to be 'free' of all of those expectations.
She will go to pre school for two days next year, then 'big school' (kindergarten) the year after. My other reasoning is that when she's older (as in 16/17/18yrs old), she will be the same age as or older than her peers. If they're going out to parties or whatever, she will have that bit more maturity and hopefully that little bit more wisdom to be more responsible (I know this might not happen, but I can only hope, lol!). She will also have that little bit more intellectual maturity and hopefully be more in the top of her classes academically. I am aiming to set her up as best as I can in life and to do that I feel by keeping her home for one more year, she will have more doors open for her that little bit more easily, ITMS!

[Lukesmum]

3littlemonkeys - reading your post was exactly how I felt for DS1. We did hold him back. He is going really well at school and is one of the older ones in his class. He does get bored though and does play with the kids in the year above him a lot. I'm really finding it difficult with an April birthday. There is a little girl a few houses up from us and she is April too and is ready and going to school next year. Your point about the end of school is something to consider too. They will be a lot younger than their peers if they start next year.

[~Kim~]

Lukesmum, I would never have believed someone who told me I would wrestle with the decision. My DD is a May birthday and a very bright, social little girl. She was even accepted immediately into two very selective private schools. But she will start school the year she turns 6. For all the reasons 3littlemonkeys wrote (great post Kell ).
We consulted with her preschool teachers extensively.
12months on I'm glad I gave her another year of play. Her little persona is so much more developed. Having seen the change in her I'm really happy with my decision. But hindsight is a great tool...in hindsight. I did worry about her being bored, and she (and I) is/are definitely ready for her to go to school.

Totally agree with Trill about nothing different in their learning as they start school. I was the youngest myself in my year and excelled at the actual school bit. However, I've worked with teens. That was my decider. There's a whole lot of difference in kids when it comes to the teens.

[Lukesmum]

mmmm Kim. Thank you for your reply. I am sooo very undecided. I was all set to keep him home for one more year until the last few weeks. He has been asking every morning if he can go to preschool and really wants to go to big school next year with his brother. Why do they have to make us make this decision? Once we hit the teenage years I would hate to think we made a mistake by sending him early. It seems like we can't really make any major mistakes by keeping him home another year but may cause problems sending him early whether that be next year or later in teenage years. I have the enrolment sitting here... What to do...

[Ginger]

http://https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/f78/4-year-old-kinder-3-year-old-again-vic-168024/

here was a thread from not long ago about a similar issue- might be worth you reading?

[catherinemoses]

I'm not quite up to making this decision yet but I have already thought that I will be keeping my March DS back. For similar reasons that 3littlemonkeys and Kim have said re:the later school years. My mum has also done work in the lower primary classes and has seen first hand the affects on a classroom where children (more so boys) have been sent to school because they are the right age not necessarily because they were actually ready. I think especially boys need that extra bit of maturity. That is not to say that a younger boys are not smart or won't cope, some will, I just think that once they get to school with other boys they can be more easily 'dragged down' into less than desirable behaviour than if they have that extra maturity. Good luck making your decision, please be happy with whatever you decide to do (my mum still beats herself up about some aspects of our schooling and I think while she may have been able to make some different/better decisions that we got through anyway and it makes us who we are). Hope this makes sense. xo

[~Kim~]

Funny you mention that about your mum Catherine. When I was deciding last year my dad rang out of the blue one day and told me he knew I was struggling with the decision. He told me he had always wished they'd held me back a year, for all the reasons I was giving....shame it was 30years too late lol. But I'm perfectly OK, so who knows

I thought of something else LM, in terms of her getting bored, I figured it was up to me. I enrolled her in a couple of activities (swimming and gymnastics) which she loves. I wasn't a fan of too much organised stuff before they were a bit older, but she loves to go and I'm glad I did. I made an effort with playgroup (until the only one here moved to an unsuitable time), we have more play dates, DH and I make an effort to do stuff (we live in a touristy place in the dessert so there is always somewhere to go and visit) when he's here, and i have started to set up lots of stuff at night for her to be engaged with. Just different little activities she might not think of herself like little invitations to play. I follow lots of early learning/play blogs and get ideas.

[MrsFabuloso]

FWIW, my plans are similar to what Kim did, for my DD. At the moment we dont 'do' alot. Not planned stuff anyhow, but next year, I will be enrolling her into pre-school for 2 days, dancing for one day, playgroup one day, a play date one day and library one day. We also live remotely, so things to do here are a bit limited, but my kids love a good play date! I will also be investing in the learning eggs and there's a maths program for young ones too, which i will do with her (cant think of the name of it tho).