Some life lessons/ Turning a negative into a positive
This afternoon, I accidently knocked over a bottle of balsamic vinegar whilst reaching for something else in the pantry. The lid wasn't on properly and it went everywhere.
The negatives of this are:
Wasted balsamic vinegar
A big mess to clean up, including taking everything on that shelf out of the pantry
The positives:
I used it as an opportunity to reaarrange that shelf in the pantry and make more room (the other shelves are now looking chaotic in comparison)
The smell is lovely. I also have fresh bread baking in the oven. Guess what I'll be dipping fresh bread in this afternoon? A bit of olive oil, salt and balsamic vinegar.
Some days, when I'm not feeling great or I am rushed, this could have been a big disaster to me. I didn't really want to rearrange the pantry today (or any day ). Balsamic vinegar isn't cheap and I could have got upset with myself for the waste. However, it was done and at least I still have half a bottle left. I learnt I need to make sure the lid is on tighter in future and that I obviously hadn't been using it much anyway.
Other things I have thought of about this one incident include:
Balsamic vinegar can be a symbol to me of "expensive" items I don't use/eat often because it is precious/expensive etc. Another example is strawberries. They used to be so expensive or I used to get in trouble with siblings for taking more than my share, that I still don't eat them in time. Rather than seen to be greedy, they go to waste and end in the bin. I don't need to deny myself the nicer things in life, in case they aren't there tomorrow. I have learnt that life is short and unpredicatable. I need to find more balance between enjoying today and anticipating the future. I am allowed to eat the strawberries, use up the balsamic vinegar or whatever.
I'm also not going to get into trouble for spilling vinegar. I chose not to have a go at myself, which I may have done in the past. DH won't care and wouldn't have a go anyway. In previous relationships, whether romantic, family or friends/flatmates, spilt vinegar could have ended in an unproductive argument, to be used against me later down the track, "We won't buy anymore of that, you'll just spill it" with much drama created over something that really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. In anticipation of getting in trouble, I would have had a go at myself, created anxiety etc. There literally could have been tears over spilt vinegar. I now look back and wonder what was I thinking, being in a relationship where a little molehill like spilt vinegar could have become such a mountain? More secure in myself now as well as in my partner, I just moved the items out, cleaned it up and got on with things.
I now think I may soak some of the strawberries in the balsamic vinegar to have for dessert. I wonder if they would go with bread? Or bread pudding?
The biggest lesson I've learned is to figure out what I can control and what I have absolutely no control over. And to understand the differences and not blame myself/beat myself up for things I don't have control over. For me this lesson didn't come easy, it was after a long time of blaming myself for someone else's bad decisions, thinking that I deserved it and that I was somehow responsible. It took a long time to learn that no, I didn't choose to have that happen, and that it was okay to put the blame where it belonged and to be angry about what happened.
The next step was learning that what I *did* control was me, and how much I let what was done to me affect my life and my enjoyment of it. I could choose to remain the injured victim and blame all of my shortcomings on what had been done to me in the past, or I could move on and become stronger for it. I chose to move on.
Thanks for sharing that Tashybabe! It's nice when we can make a positive from a negative and turn hings around for ourselves I am glad you could do this today!!
I think my biggest thing lately has been being Thankful for things that I normally wouldn't, Normally I would curse those horrible feelings that come along with having been TTC for three years but lately I have been Thankful for them, Thankful for the fact that I can feel angry or upset when I need to, have a cry about it when I want and express what I am feeling, there are so many others in this world who are told how to live, how to feel and don't get that freedom to express what they really do feel, so for that very right I am Thankful... It doesn't make those feelings any less important when they do come along, but it helps me to see a bit of a positive at the fact I can let them out...
Always use the good china. I spent 4 years eating off china that I hated that made me think of someone I didn't like. It eventually inspired me to get rid of all my ugly china and only use the good stuff. Some of it has been broken but now I feel happy every time I look at my plates. They remind me of my Mum and my childhood and all the happy meals gathered around our gargantuan table.
Last edited by Phteven; September 26th, 2011 at 08:02 PM.
Yay for turning what could be a negative to a positive :-). I am also trying to do that with pregnancy. It is unplanned and I am single but that means I get a lovely Christmas surprise of a baby boy and birth how I want, not how my partner wants.
I think i've had one recently.
I lost a friend recently, as i've posted elsewhere. His loss is in our lives is massive, and overwhelming. I think it was that no one had said a good bye, he was too young and it was a just a sudden and tragic accident. Although it was only 27 days ago I think i've been able to turn it into as much of a positive as I can, for now. I have much more time, and patience with my younger brother, I want him to to be safe, I want him and his friends to respect their lives enough to live it until they are old and grey. I don't want him, me, or them to go to another young persons funeral ever, we've been to far too many I ALWAYS say how much I love my loved ones, more than ever, I want them to know how special they are. My DP and his mates all ride dirtbikes every Sunday, they do jumps, go fast etc etc. Hassling them about safety is my new hobby, reminding them of how much we love them is my new passion and how easy it is to have an accident a nasty habit.
Basically, the loss of a beautiful young man 27 days ago might help learn others in the future.
xx
ps. Need me to PM you my addy so you can post me some strawberries too (as long as they won't sabotage my 12 week challenge )
There are no problems.
There are no worries if you reach out with your heart and release them.
So I now send my problems & worries out to the universe with love.
I've also started to actively become more of a glass half full person, I've had too much bad in my life and I dwelt on it too much, now it is time for me to look at the other side of things, just like you did Tash with the vinegar
I like that Sopdet! Quite a lot.
I heard something on a TV show last night, THE MIDDLE, the mum Frankie used the word problem-tunity....when a problem becomes an opportunity. I think she was on to something
On the china topic, I often say that life is too short to eat off white dinnerware. I love coloured dinnerware and yes, I know it is more practical to go for white, but much rather have fun with colours. Looking forward to what our next dinner set will be
Tashy - I have had real issues in the past with not wasting things, saving them good, a better time etc. Of course things went to waste. Went off, out of date (fashion wise), too big, too small etc. Not completely over it, but I am much better with "not wasting due to trying not to waste"
Last edited by Astrid; September 26th, 2011 at 08:15 PM.
: correct word
I learned that it is up to me, how much the actions of others affect me. I can choose to be angry and hurt, or I can choose to let it go.
It's not always easy. Sometimes I want to be angry, to do some self-righteous foot stomping. But I figured out a while back that anger has a shelf life & after that it takes more effort to stay angry than to just let it go.
And that sometimes, when someone hurts me, it's not about me at all, just them & who they are.
I try & figure out when something is really bugging me, why it is & what do I need to learn / gain from it - I do believe that where there is discord, there is a reason, and it's usually a positive hiding there somewhere, an opportunity for growth or learning. I'm still working on seeing those opportunities I've got a way to go, but I understand a bit of where I have to go. If that makes sense.
Cancer taught me to stop waiting for someone outside of myself to approve of what I do, big things or little things, and just get on with doing what I want to do.
I have learnt that choices I made in the past cannot be changed, therefore I need to make the most of what I do have, and work towards making better choices in the future.
I have recently read a book and one of the quotes was 'this will all end some day'. This is how I live now. The bad things in my life, they will end at some point. The good things, they will end too so make the most of them. when you really think about this quote, it is powerful.
I have spent alot of time worrying about 'doing the right thing' and waiting for approval from others. I too have been really good at saving the 'good things' clothes food etc for another time and let them go to waste. I had a moment when I hit 33 realising that I was living days that my mum never got a chance to and try to seize the moment and opportunity much more than I ever did. The change in approach is still a work in progress but we have had lots of great fun that I probably wouldn't have before.
Some life lessons/ Turning a negative into a positive
). Balsamic vinegar isn't cheap and I could have got upset with myself for the waste. However, it was done and at least I still have half a bottle left. I learnt I need to make sure the lid is on tighter in future and that I obviously hadn't been using it much anyway. 
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I ALWAYS say how much I love my loved ones, more than ever, I want them to know how special they are. My DP and his mates all ride dirtbikes every Sunday, they do jumps, go fast etc etc. Hassling them about safety is my new hobby, reminding them of how much we love them is my new passion and how easy it is to have an accident a nasty habit. 
)
I've got a way to go, but I understand a bit of where I have to go. If that makes sense.
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