thread: Sleep regression because DH is away?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    Sleep regression because DH is away?

    DD2 has had 2 big sleep regressions since been born. From 4.5 weeks she slept through the night, woke up at around 5-6am for a feed and then back to sleep for a couple more hours. Good day sleeper too. She has pretty much always gone down around 7pm for the night

    At 5.5 months she started waking every hour or so from about 11:30pm this lasted a few weeks maybe a month. In this time we ditched the dummy, visited an osteopath and started putting her down on her tummy to sleep. She has been going really great with only 1 night wake and still the early morning feed.

    Now just before she hit 11 months she is doing it again but more like every 20-30 minutes from about midnight.

    Now, DD2 is a real mummies girl. She has come out of her shell alot lately but she would cry if someone came up to her in a shopping centre and talked to her. Did not like going to anyone but me, including DH. It was only in the last month that she has gotten excited when DH comes home from work, but when she is upset she wants me and me only. DH can not settle her at night.

    In saying that both these regressions have happened when DH has gone OS for 4 weeks.

    Do you think this is just co incidence or could she actually be missing her daddy and in her way having seperation issues? I just did not think she was that aware of DH.

    I will add, when DH is here he works 5 days a week plus every 2nd weekend and has dog traing every other saturday, so we really only get 2 full days a month as a family so it is not like he is always here when he is IYKWIM.

    Sorry about the long winded post, I just need some other people to bounce my thoughts off.

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2008
    Eastern Surburbs, Melbourne
    1,841

    Even though he is busy and you feel he is not around much, for your DD seeing him there every day is enough. (If that makes sense). She would be very aware of him going then coming, having meals and just being a presence in the house.

    Do you have a picture of your DH that you can put onthe fridge for her. We used to do this for the girls when their dad had to be away and they would say goodnight to him and sometimes just having it there to look at was enough to settle them when he was missed. We used to change it every year and it became a joke if it was missing or not up to date, it is still there even though they are now adults.

    Can you talk to him on skype while he is away?

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    I have a photo for my girls to look at whenever they like. DD1 kisses it everytime she walks past it DD2 just wants to play with it. We have skyped a few times. DD1 loves it. DD2 is very disinterested.

    I guess your right though. He is still here everyday, even if she only see's him so an hour or two. Thanks.

    Only 2 more weeks to go

  4. #4

    May 2008
    Melbourne, Vic
    8,631

    How's it going hun??

    DH and I have noticed that the behavior of our LOs gets a lot worse when we are not around for a bit and then come home to them. They'll be fine for whomever is looking after them but when we get home, they turn feral.

    So yeah, I think definitely could be to do with DH being away. They are more switched on than we realise sometimes...

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    Thanks for asking OP,

    She has been really good the last week, back to only waking once. DH is still away (gets back the 29th ).
    Neither of my DD's have been away from me overnight yet, even when in labor I was still here to put DD1 to sleep and was home the next day by lunch time. I have no idea what will happen when the time comes (May next Year) that we are both away (me only 6 days) from them. I think I will be worse off then them.

    I did notice that both times he has gone away have included a wonder week. Now I just hope I have not jinxed myself

  6. #6

    May 2008
    Melbourne, Vic
    8,631

    Glad that she has improved!! 29th isn't too far away either

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    Jinxed myself. DD2 slept (if you can call it that) with me last night. Hope it was a one off after a very big day.

    We are on the count down. Sucks it takes DH about a week to get over jet lag though.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Ouiinslano
    5,303

    It's happening here right now. Our 10 month old was sleeping through to at least 5:30, sometimes 6, but is now waking at 4ish and needing a cuddle - I bring her into bed and the first thing she does is look to DH's side of the bed to look for daddy. We skype, but she doesn't quite get it. So I've just been explaining to her where he is, and every night before I take her in to her bed, we count the sleeps til daddy gets home.

    I just hope it goes back to normal when he gets back, and same for you!

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    It is really hard Audax. I am the same, we talk about DH and where he is, what he is doing, when he will be back and we mark off the calander. I have only just got DD1 to understand what is happening and she is great about it. I hope when he goes again in April DD2 might understand a little better.

    I hope your DD goes back to normal too. until then I guess we just try and enjoy those night time snuggles/ kicks.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    in the Capital
    1,478

    I have the same problems everytime DH goes away. Each night both DH and I put DS2 to bed and when his dadda is not there it just doesn't work. We just muddle through, but those longer stretches apart can really test us both!

    FWIW last time DH went away seemed to be the first time DS2 really noticed that he was actually gone. We dropped him off at the airport and the whole way home he kept saying, "dadda bye-bye". When he got up the next morning he went around knocking on closed doors saying "dadda?". I woke him up to take him to the airport to get DH because I didn't want him to just appear.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    I also wonder if DD2 has a feeling of, Daddy has suddenly gone and she could be worrying that I might just dissappear too. Can they think like that at this age (11months).
    I guess there must be so many factors to it all and me as an adult am thinking about it to much when to DD2 it is daddy was here and now he is not and I don't know why.
    We do the big trip to the airport too and wave bye and everything so it is not just a here and then gone thing. We also will go and wait at the airport for him. DD1 loves going there. But gets more excited to watch the trucks on the runways then the planes

    We did have a good night last night though. Bed at 8 and slept through till 4:45am, quick drain of my boobies and back to sleep till 6:50am. Problem was I kept waking because I am use to it

    Big to all us mummies that comfort our baby/babies when our overhalf are away.