Kids at the Birth?

[Cherished]

Who's had their other kids at the birth of their new baby? This is something I've been thinking about since DS was born and now that I'm thinking about #2 I thought I'd ask the question. The birth of DS was fantastic and I'd really like him to be involved as much as possible with the birth of his sibling. I know there's lots of info out there but would really like to hear of any BB members experiences with this. At the very least I would like ds to stay with me in the hospital. When ds was born we had a family room which is huge and I don't think the hospital would have a problem with him staying with dh and I either. He is a light sleeper though so maybe all the wake ups with the newborn might not be the best for him but I'm hoping he will be better with that by the time the new bub comes along. If you had your kids there do you think it freaked them out? This isn't something that I'm totally sure about but I just know that I think I want him there?

[beansbeans!]

We had DD1 with us for the birth of DD2.

She wasnt freaked out by it, just quiet. Both DH and I really believe it helped with their bonding and overall relationship with each other.

We still talk about DD2's birth and DD1 will talk about it like she remembers it well. Although Im not sure how much she actually remembers in truth. She talks about certain stuff that is true. And she wants to be present when sprout is born, she actually asked us this before we brought it up with her. So we are planning on both of them being there for the event.

With DD2 I was only in hospital for a couple of hrs in total and after birth. So we got there, had DD2, Dh and DD1 went out when the shops opened and did some shopping and had brekky. Then they picked DD2 and me up from hospital and we went home by lunchtime.

Dh and I have an understanding about what it means to bring the girls in and we have an action plan to use if we need to, if the girls need us to.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I'm planning on having Liebling as my main birth partner when Stormy comes! DH isn't invited and I don't know if I can invite my sister when I'm not telling my mother I'm pregnant. I'm certainly not having medical people around. That leaves Liebs.

[TeniBear]

I was at my brother's birth when I was a month off turning five. I remember bits and pieces, but not much. My parents don't even remember me being there, but I do We have a really close bond Well, we did, but he's turned moody and poo-headish lately *sigh*

[ElleJay]

Seeing as I'm having an elective c-section, I've chosen only DH for my support person, but if I was able to have a natural birth, I'd definitely want DS to be at the birth


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[Cranky Kitten]

Comes down to the personality of the kid I guess - I've chosen not to have DD present as she doesn't handle me being in pain well, which I would find distracting. Guess I think I'd be more concerned about her and how she's handling what she's seeing than getting down to the business at hand.

[meow]

My son is autistic, very clingy to mummy and doesn't like loud noises but we still had him around for his baby brother's HB. I would never have taken him with us for a hospital birth though. We tried to prepare him for the birth by watching youtube clips and reading "Hello Baby". I would also "make the noise mummy makes when the baby comes" to prepare him. He couldn't comprehend what was actually going to happen as his receptive language skills are poor so we couldn't explain it for him.

He was great on the day. He gave me little cuddles during early contractions- a soft arm around my neck when I bent over and made noise Then as labour ramped up my H put him to bed for his day sleep. When he woke up things were getting much more to the business end and he didn't want to come into the birth room. Our student midwife was able to bring him in for a bit but he mostly preferred to play with playdough in the kitchen. My aunty was coming to be his carer but she missed the birth and my son was calm just playing by himself anyway. He came in and had a quick look after his brother was born but he spent the following couple of hours skulking around trying to be invisable. After a while he started to get distressed by so many people so we asked everyone to wrap it up and go then he had a little cuddle time with me and baby in bed and went to bed for the night. The following days were great and he was calm and relaxed, giving baby kisses and just getting on with daily life as usual.

When I was 13 I attended the HB of my little sister and it was awesome. Set me up for life to be able to negate all the negative, scare stories/images about birth in the media. It was one of the biggest blessings my mum ever gave me

[Tegam]

Instead of staying in the family couldn't you just go home. My kids weren't at my home birth but they came home straight after and after my 2 nd and 3 rd hospital births I came home straight after. I really believe this helped their bonding as it was really no big. They all get along so well and I have never had any jealousy over a new baby.

[Freya]

It depends on hospital policy, whether you can have children there or not. So if your planning to birth in a hospital maybe check those rules.

If your homebirthing then I guess its your choice. I contemplated having Ds1 at Ds3's birth but he was only 2.5 and the birth centre had a no kids policy. Next time though he will be 6 and he will definately be there as we are homebirthing, I think we'll let the other two make the choice themselves (at nearly 5 and 3) and have someone on hand to help them should they want to go play or something.

I think its a great way to show them that birth is normal and a happy experience in the right setting.

[Cherished]

Thanks for all of your replies. I had originally wanted a home birth for DS but the private hospital I birthed at is amazing! There is a standard 4 night stay (you could leave early if you really wanted) but we like staying the 4 nights and would happily do that again. The family rooms are huge, we could still co-sleep with ds there if we are still cosleeping at home and if we aren't he can sleep on the floor on a mattress then we will have room in the bed to cosleep with the new bub like what we did with ds when he was born I've been thinking about it since starting this thread and it just wouldn't sit well any other way then to have ds at the birth. We are a really close family and I can't imagine leaving him out. What we may have to consider is having someone there to look after him as I will want dh by my side the entire time. The birthing rooms are also huge and all going well like last time I will be in the bathroom in the bath having a water birth so ds could be out in the main room where the bed etc is playing or being in with us, whatever he is happy with. I will speak to dh when we even get pg (who knows when that will be) and maybe we will organise someone like my SIL to be there with us. That's the biggest problem, we really only want it to be just us. When we had ds we didn't even have any visitors to the hospital as we wanted that time to bond plus another few days at home before we had visitors. hmmm I guess we will know what feels right when the time comes!