Tantrums at 15 months? Is this normal?

[Cherished]

dh (and I to some extent) are worried about ds's behaviours and I'm wondering if it's 'normal'. Ds is 15 months old, he has always been different when dh is home (which is 6 days out of 8) so it's needless to say that they spend lots of time together. This is fantastic in many ways but the 2 days that dh is not here ds is like a different child! When dh is here he can't do anything without ds wanting to be with him. This has escalated since I had an operation 4 weeks ago and left me on the couch unable to break the day up with mummy interaction too which used to give dh a break. Now ds is crying all the time and basically chucking a tantrum if he doesn't get his own way. Examples of this are ds wanting to go outside when it's cold and raining, not being allowed to play with some paper that dh needed or me not being able to pick him up when I'm walking from A to B or dh not being able to pick him up when he is preparing food for ds. All of these things happened today and they started a screaming frenzy that lasted 10 minutes or longer. He is carrying on pretty much all day most days unless he's being entertained in some way. I am hoping that this is all just normal, dh is starting to wonder if he has some kind of personality disorder! Honestly though, don't think he does, don't toddlers carry on, isn't that in their nature as they explore the boundries? He does have loads of 'happy' time but when he doesn't get is way there is screaming. He is also often happy playing by himself, as in we have never had to entertain him all day every day but this is rapidly changing. What can we do, is this normal?

[Aligater]

My DD1 was like this (and still is) as DH works seasonal he has months off and then when he goes back we hardly see him. She is such a daddys girl that even at that young age I would cop it for weeks till she realized he wasnt there

[Frantelle]

It sounds like my DS, although he is a little younger.

He also has avery strong attachment to my DH but DH is his primary carer.

So not much help but I think it is normal.

[krysalyss]

Totally normal. He is just learning to express himself (and try and get his own way . DS did this with us too but as DH was the primary carer at the time it was always me he wanted. I definitely wouldn't be thinking anything wrong at this stage.

[Cassius2]

we are just entering the land of tantrums (and i mean zero to 100 kinda dramatics here!) with DD2. it was like a switch was flicked the other week

he might be going through a slightly more frustrated stage right now, if like you said there have been a bit more days of being cooped up and with a mummy that is not her normal mobile self ITMS. but honest, it will pass and seems to be totally within the realms of normal behaviour TBH. Like i said our DD2 has just become a champion tantrumer over any little thing (like this afternoon when i asked her to put her swimmers in her swim bag and she did all excitedly and then cracked it because she did

[OceanPrincess]

Yes - absolutely normal. DS started around 15 months too and is just starting to get better now (coming up on 18 months).

I think a big part of it is frustration over not being able to communicate - he has definite needs now and definite WANTS, but he can't verbalise them. Since he discovered some more words (drink, grape, toast, cereal) it is getting better - but he still gets frustrated when he doesn't get his own way.

It's tough. Hang in there.

[Lily Dust]

I tend to think that its the terrible 2s early. My DD did this, was a handful at 15 months, worse at 18 months and now when I was primed for the 2 year old behaviour she is pretty happy (mostly) at the moment she is struggling with life but generally ok. So just remember this will pass and when the kid up the road is being a monster you may have DS back on easy street for a while Its hard but it does pass.

[Sunny Love]

Yep, he's a weirdo! HAHA!! Just kidding, how could I even joke about my beautiful surrogate DS like that!! I do get how challenging this is, especially given your current physical (or lack of) abilities. Ride the toddler wave, and if need be, throw yourself on the floor next to him and tantrum away too
DD was EXACTLY the same at that age. God, sometimes I felt like throwing her over the fence to the neighbours! It started just before the arrival of DS and heightened probably just after hs arrival. Basically, independent action, desire, will and thought are developing rapidly now at this age. Your DS is completely normal. So was my DD.
Stay consistent with your DS, use distraction and other strategies to focus his interest elsewhere if a tantrum brews/erupts.
Keep me posted doll xx

[Tanya]

Sounds totally normal. DS (16m) is a different child when I am not around too. And e has loads of tantrums and needs to be entertained most of the day to keep him occupied... it's very tiring but it doesn't last forever.

xx

[peanutter]

Yes - absolutely normal. DS started around 15 months too and is just starting to get better now (coming up on 18 months).

I think a big part of it is frustration over not being able to communicate - he has definite needs now and definite WANTS, but he can't verbalise them. Since he discovered some more words (drink, grape, toast, cereal) it is getting better - but he still gets frustrated when he doesn't get his own way.

It's tough. Hang in there.

what she said.



it will improve ...

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Yep, normal. Theres nothing wrong with him. If anything, he is quite advanced. Ide gladly sawp him for my attitude filled, door slaming 3 year old any day

[Cherished]

Thanks for all your replies. I have had some more feedback from dh. He said that when he is doing something like pulling one of the blinds up that ds just has to go over and pull up the others, like a compolsion. But again I think this is just normal! He want's to show us that he knows how to do it and that he remembers that when one blind usually gets pulled up then they all do. Another example is that dh usually takes ds with him to put the bins out on bin days. The last bin day was not a recycle bin day so they only took one bin out and ds chucked a massive tantrum because they weren't taking the recycle bin out the front. I'm glad it's nothing out of the ordinary, hopefully he'll turn back into a beautiful little munchkin when I am back on my feet and getting him out of the house everyday on a proper outing IN the mean time this behaviour isn't helping me to change dh's mind about having another baby

[Sunny Love]

I think your DS is copying daddy right now, he's see's daddy doing a 'good' thing successfully and with capability and wants to imitate. I can't stress how important language (lots and lots of it!!) is in developing your DS' understanding into these activities and responsibilities, eg, 'are you pulling up the blinds too? wow! you're very clever! WE have yo be careful, see like this (demonstrates careful manouvere for the blinds), see all done, *clap**clap**pat on the back*, lets go do ...... now'. I also see this as a stepping stone to him becoming more independent, autonomous and helpful, and who wouldn't want those things for child However, it can be very frustrating and hard work when LO's are headstrong and WANT to do more. It's still being helpful, but requires that language to explain that 'that bin is for next time, we only put one bin out today, here come help me pull this weed/smell this flower'. Distraction will be your best mate, it is mine anyway!
It also requires support, and in that I mean bringing the adult back to reality when they get to that point of being 'over it', and we all go there (my DH is frequently in this place!!). Your DS is only helping and trying to be invloved, he is very clever and is learning how to do it on his own.

I hope my post makes sense, you know me pretty well now anyway and know what I mean (even though we're different-we do get each other), keep surfing the toddler wave hun and dishing out those patient lentils to DH haha! Couldn't help it!
xx

[~StarBright~]

Yep, totally normal!!!! OP is right on the money too about the frustration with the communication!!! DD is now just on 18 months and she is learning more words, but still has the odd tantie when she cant say what she wants or if something isnt exactly the way she wants it!! hang in there.. it MAY get worse before it gets better!!!!!!