DD10 has a friend who slept over last night, yesterday when I was in DD's room her friends bag was open and I saw two sheets of body art tattoos that DD got for Christmas. I asked DD if she gave them to her and she said no so I went and took them out of her bag. This is not the first time, I didn't say anything then but will be telling her mother today when she comes to pick her up. It's just really dissapointing.
It needs to be addressed and maybe with her face to face when your DD is there also. If she is not willing to acknowledge her wrong doing then she needs to be told that she is not welcome for sleepovers and why.
When she comes to visit then the bedrooms are out of bounds. She needs to earn your and your DD's trust again.
It is disappointing. I would personally sit her down and talk to her directly. I think if you do it respectfully and let her know that the possible consequences of what she is doing (e.g. no more coming over, police action) it may be more effective then her mother saying something. Sucky situation though.
Talking to her mother is a good idea, some kids steal for attention or they really dont know its wrong so by her parents knowing hopefully they can get on top of it before it gets too out of control.
Stealing is not nice hey? I had a slightly older child take something from work and I knew she did it - still said she didn't even when I advised I would check with her mum. Mum confirmed she had the item and told Mum I gave it to her!
I wonder if it will be news to the mother, or if she's had this conversation a few times before ... either way, it will be pretty embarassing for everyone concerned.
I hope it goes well, and there's a positive outcome
I remember when I was a kid my family used to be friends with this other family that had kids similar ages to us and when they'd been at our place for dinner or a visit, Mum would have to frisk them as they all walked out the door to get back the stuff some of them stole from us LOL. It was appalling that she had to do it, even more appalling that the kids mother did nothing to stop them and didn't care when Mum caught them out. If I was the girl's Mum, I'd want to know that she was doing it - I'd put good money on this girl also stealing out of her own Mum's purse too because it's just what these type of kids do and they don't realise it's not only wrong, but that it can also have severe consequences for them if they take it too far. Good luck talking to her though, I hope she's receptive and OK with it.
Similar thing happened with my DD when she was 11, her friend had a real problem with stealing, the end for me was whilst shopping in Kmart once with DD and i she stole a lip gloss, when her mum picked her up i addressed the issue with the 4 of us there, she owned up and her mum took her directly to Kmart and the girl had to tell them what she had done. Sad thing was the girl and dd were not friends after this day, im not sure if she was too embarassed or dd didnt trust her anymore. I hope it goes well for you.
The girls mum wasn't in the least surprised when I told her what happened. We were in DD's room at the time packing up, the girl denied it, her face went really red and her mum told her not to lie, she knew. She was asked to apologize but didn't, threw a bit of a tanty and went out to the car. I just hope her mum talks to her and makes her realize how much trouble she could get into by stealing.
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