Is this normal?

[Arimeh]

So my sister has 3 kids - 8, 6 and nearly 4. She's a single mother, divorced and works shift work. My mum usually helps out with babysitting her kids but since my uncle passed away this week, she had to fly to tassie for the funeral so it was up to DH and myself to watch her kids this weekend

I don't know if this is normal behaviour for this age but omg - these are some seriously misbehaving children!! They don't listen, don't respond to you when you talk to them, don't do as they are told and are so rude to your face - they mock you when you raise your voice at them.

We are finding it incredibly frustrating to look after them - I screamed at them both days because they were being so naughty and defiant that I just lost it. I know my sister has a hard time with them and smacks them a lot, but we don't have a lot of that in our house, and our kids are angels in comparison!

So is it normal for an 8 and 6 year old to just blatantly ignore you? To seem to be totally incapable of sitting still quietly for more than 20 seconds? Cos that's all they lasted for, then they got up and started wrestling and karate chopping each other again! Not to mention that the 6 year old punched my DS yesterday and the 8 year old punched his brother (6 year old) in the jaw today for looking over his shoulder while playing a toy. They are just so aggressive I'm totally at a loss on how to handle them because they muck up and my kids copy them and do stuff that they arent supposed to do so I end up with 6 kids all yelling, screaming, wrestling or running through my house at once! My kids do listen though but it's hard when they see their cousins obviously not giving two hoots about our rules that we have in our house.

I've babysat other kids the same age and they were totally not like that - so is this what normal kids are like? If this is what my future holds I might leave now!

[Maruschke]

Holy Cow. No advice, I haven't been there yet, but good luck and come get a sanity break if you need it.

[RockingBaker]

Ben's (our?) nephew is like that. He's 6. It drives me batty and I refuse to babysit for him. My DS will copy the behaviour and it will stay for weeks. It's so hard when they're not your kids.

[onthefly]

um. i don't think so. no.

[Nai]

I know lots of 6 yo kids and only a couple are like this. Same with the 8yo but I don't know as many of them. I wouldn't say it was the norm, but I also don't think it is uncommon if that makes sense. Especially if they are feeding off each other and revving each other up, it can escalate the behaviour.

I don't have any idea how to deal with it sorry! I refuse to look after he kids I know who are like this as they scare me lol.

[CKJ]

Wow that's hectic. My DD is nearly six and is quite content sitting down reading, playing board games, watching tv etc. some days you never hear boo from her (and I worry she has passed out somewhere from
Low blood sugars)
Sounds like you need a holiday after that babysitting experience!

[misty]

My kids can be like that at times. They don't get that bad very often, but about once a month defiance will set in and they will push the boundaries to the extreme (usually when I am already pushed to my limit trying to cope with other things.

They get seperated and put in their beds when they do get like that, until they have calmed down, apologised and are willing to behave again. My 6 yr old had discovered while I was pregnant that I couldn't physically force her to do anything, so she would lay down on the floor and refuse to move telling me 'you cann't make me', so I started confiscating all of her precious trinkets and toys, threatening to throw them in the bin or give them away if she refused to obey me.

My 6yr old nephew tried to pull a similiar stunt on me and my mum last week while we were babysitting him. Mum ended up having to give him a smack on the bum, because he got violent and started to deliberated destroy the bedroom and the stuff in it as well as screaming abuse. He's behaviour was really random - he had been good all day right up until that point and then just switched when he decided he didn't want his cousins near him anymore (he is an only child and not used to having other kids around for too long). His behaviour was worse then anything Ii have ever seen in my kids even, but then again, he seemed to think he would get away with it (and was very surprised when we didn't back down, whereas my kids 'know' that there are going to be consequences, and that I can be ever more stubborn then they are. My sister was appalled when she heard about his behaviour, but not completely surprised as he gets away with it at his fathers house apparently.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

No, not normal. They could be overtired, overstimulated or just unsure of things and testing boundaries - but certainly at 8 years old I would expect a little more curtesy and respect.

As for the violence - that is really not on. I know children can get excited and hit/kick - but this seems just nastiness, from what you say. I'd be putting them outside the house (physically, if I had to) and not letting them in until they apologise, but then I do not tolerate rudeness or deliberate violence.

[Traveller]

I know a few kids like that, although thankfully not mine. Having said that mine do fight and show defiance from time to time so I think the behaviours are normal, but acting like that all the time is what's not normal iyswim.

[Tinks]

It's obviously normal in their family, it isn't 'normal' in mine.

[*Ang*]

I know a few kids like that, although thankfully not mine. Having said that mine do fight and show defiance from time to time so I think the behaviours are normal, but acting like that all the time is what's not normal iyswim.

Exactly what Traveller said. Showing defiance is kind of normal as they "Test" the boundaries - mine tend to do it more at their grandparents house's as they try and see what they can get away with. I suspect some of it is "for show" being at your house and in a different environment. Doesn't make it right but it also doesn't mean they are like that all the time.

Wrestling and karate chopping is kind of normal especially amongst boys/brothers/cousins....I wouldn't be too worried about that. I would be worried if escalated to punching tho - that is completely different type of behaviour that warrants addressing.

[Beach Mama]

how challenging hun. Could you bring it up with your sister in a non-threatening non-dobbing way? More like, "the kids were doing xyz and I wasn't sure if that was ok? what do you normally do?" See how she replies, what their strategies are for discipline and if you are on the same age, maybe next time you could sit them down and lay down the rules beforehand and let them know that not listening etc was unacceptable but you have tlkaed to mum and know that XYZ will be in place if it happens again? I have talked a lot in XYZ and not if any of it makes sense!!

[Little-old-me]

Yeah... um certainly not normal here.
(Even when im not bribing them with ds lol)

Could they have been unsettled by everything going on? I know R gets a bit full on with lots of changes or if we are stressed.