thread: Should I Give In or Stand Strong?

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Add UntoldAngel on Facebook

    Nov 2009
    Between concrete walls
    1,885

    Question Should I Give In or Stand Strong?

    DS is almost 20months old and has been demand fed since birth. I was able to feed him throughout my pregnancy last year, and was tandem feeding until recently.

    Saturday before last was his last breastfeed (so 12days ago). He hasn't asked for it but would pat my boob, say "it's gone", then point to his sister (3months old) and try to put her on for a feed.

    Yesterday though he started asking for it, and again today. He only asks a few times, and I know it is when he is really tired, and then he goes onto something else. I feel bad for not giving it to him, as he gets really upset and desperately wants it. And I do miss that time with him.

    I don't know what to do.... do I give it to him, or do I distract because he has essentially weaned? PLUS my boobs have settled right down

    Thanks for reading if you got through it.... it's a jumble

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Add helle on Facebook

    Sep 2008
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    3,963

    Depends if you want to go down the weaning path... Again.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    summer street
    2,708

    I weaned dd when ds was six weeks old. I didn't mind tandem feeding, but it's certainly easier just feeding one child.

    What about a don't offer don't refuse policy? Or as just continue as you are, with distraction techniques. I wouldn't make a hard and fast rule, just go with the flow, and if he's tired and you know he'll settle with a boob, just give it to him, but otherwise just try to distract him.

    Good luck. He's still very little really and it will get easier as he grows.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    Melbourne
    132

    It is a hard decision. My Dd is 30 months and I would love her to wean herself, but then on the odd day she does not ask for booby I feel sad that she has not and hope that she will turn around and go "booby pleease mummy". It may be easier if he has gone that long already to stick with distracting him. I am tossing up a "only once a day" policy for DD as DS is still so full on.

    Sorry not much help. Good luck with your decision.

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    it's really up to you.
    i found that when my weaned boy asked for milk and I let him, he just kind of gave me a kiss and was off again. I didn't want to make him want it more by refusing.

  6. #6
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    Nov 2009
    Between concrete walls
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    Thanks. He has essentially weaned himself which is why I'm torn over what to do. I think I'll just keep going as we are at the moment, it's rare that he wants it and I don't know if I could handle going backwards... There are a lot of people happy he isn't on the boob anymore, and I'm not strong enough to deal with the backlash that would come from it

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    I'm sorry other people's feelings are a consideration for you
    I'm sure he'll be fine with other ways to comfort him.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    melb
    8,498

    Hugs hun its up to you if you want to let him or not. Other people's thoughts and feelings don't come into it.
    I have had many people tell me I should not be BF a 2 year old and 3 and 1/2 yr old but you know what its my body my choice and if kids are happy so am I.

    xoxo

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    2,269

    I'm sorry you are feeling pressure from others! Whatever direction you decide is a perfectly acceptable choice and nobody should make you feel otherwise. If you continue with weaning, be proud because 20months is such a brilliant achievement and through a pregnancy!! I don't think there is anything wrong with using a bit of distraction to encourage this. If you want to keep feeding know there are many others who have been there or are there and can support you, even if you don't have any in real life. I'm currently feeding my almost 3 year old and just over 1 month old but if DD1 went over a week without feeding, I would be trying to gently continue the weaning process.