Very Scared

**LMM** · March 1st, 2012, 03:10 PM

I am getting very freaked out atm and was wondering if anyone had any experience similar to mine.

In Nov 2010 DH and I decided to try for number 3, we have a beautiful DS and DD. We were very excited to discover the day before New Years Eve that I was pregnant. The joy didn't last long as exactly a week later he rushed me to the hospital it alot of pain and i was eventually diagnosed with an eptopic pg. I was given a shot of methotrexate and 6 weeks later given the all clear. But we had to wait 3 months before we could try again.

After six months of TTC, in Sep 2011 I found out I was pg again and was excited but cautious till I had the us at 6 weeks to check for another eptopic. At 6 weeks and 2 days we saw out little bub right were it should be with a strong heartbeat. But 3 weeks later at my next ob appointment we were shattered to find out that out little one had passed away.

We decided to try again straight away and now I am totally freaking out. I did OPK this month and didn't get a positive at all. I stopped testing the day I believed I should have ovulated and it was still negative (the tests were getting so expensive). I figured that I either didn't ovulate or were going to ovulate late. So my period was due Mon/Tue this week but nothing. I did a test on Sunday and yesterday and both were negative. But did another one this afternoon and there is a faint positive. My boobs are bigger and are starting to show veins. Has anyone else had such a late positive pg test and gone on to have a successful pregnancy? I'm just really worried as I know that eptopics can show up late. I'm going to do another one first thing in the morning and then ring my OB.

**Joeve** · March 1st, 2012, 04:11 PM

Hugs no advice but I hope it works out for you.

**glenny_c** · March 2nd, 2012, 09:03 AM

LMM- How did you go hon? Did you tests again?

I can understand the nerves completely! I hope all is well

**~TT40~** · March 2nd, 2012, 09:56 AM

if you ovulated late then the test would be late.

also after a mc our bodies can take a while to get back into the usual swing, so it is common to have irregular cycles afterwards.

*big hugs* I really hope there is a little sticky one in there for you!!

**LMM** · March 2nd, 2012, 03:40 PM

Thank you.

I did another test this morning and again got a faint positive. So went out and got a digital pg test, I figured that it was better to get a definative yes or no not trying to see a line that may or may not be there, it was positive. Rang my OB and his receptionist said to go down and have a blood test. I spoke to him briefly and he wants a blood test done today, Monday and then see him on Tuesday. He test for quantative Beta HCG and progestrone.

Last night I could hadly keep my eyes open after about 7pm and I've been having alot of aching pains like my period is about to start. I have had this before (but not with the ectopic so hopefully that is a good sign) and was told that it is most likely stetching pain.

So now I just have to wait till Tuesday and hope that my levels have close to doubled.

**~TT40~** · March 2nd, 2012, 04:11 PM

all the best LMM!

**glenny_c** · March 2nd, 2012, 05:58 PM

Ohhh, my fingers will be crossed until Tuesday! Good luck honey!!

**LMM** · March 7th, 2012, 08:22 AM

Yesterday was not good news.

My Beta HCG levels went from 15 on Friday to 27 on Monday and my progestrone fell from 21 to 13. But my Dr still isn't sure what is going on at the moment. It could be a miscarriage where there was just something wrong with the egg/sperm, a hormone problem where I am having trouble keeping the pregnancies or another ectopic (my gut feeling is that it is another ectopic). But as my levels are so low nothing would show up on an ultrasound so they can't rule an ectopic in or out. So now I have to have blood tests every three days and go back on Monday and see if he can tell what is going on. And he may have to make a decising based on them to do surgery.

I'm kind of hoping that it is another ectopic and on the right side like last time that way I can't have the tube out and be done with it. And hopefully that would mean that i don't have any other underlying issue. I know it isn't logical but I feel like I am being punished for something and I don't know what I did wrong. Im scared of what is to come over the next week or two. And then not know if I am going to be able to have a baby I so desparately want.

And to top it all off my mum is driving me mental. Each time I have falled pregnant I have told her and asked her to keep it to herself and then when I have lost my last two little one I have again asked her to keep it to herself as I don't want to talk about it to all and sundry, she promised that she would tell noone but shortly after I have found out that she has discussed it with everyone she can get hold of. I went to visit my great aunt and she said "hello darl how are you?
Are you over the ectopic yet" I know she meant well but I felt totally ambushed. I hadn't told her I was pg this time but had to ring her yesterday because if I have to have surgery I might need her help with the kids. I told her that I need to discuss something with her but need her to promise that it would go no further. I told her what was going on and she said "I don't see what the problem is, when it is all over and done with what does it matter who I talk to about it" I said "But it is about me not you and i don't want everyone to know" she replied "oh well I don't see the problem with it". I was so angry i was shaking I don't know how you can have your own child on the phone crying and so upset and promise that you wont tell anyone and then tell everyone. And she had alot of problems having me and lost two before having to take some sort of hormone to keep me so I've no idea why she doesn't understand. Sorry to have a rant but i need to get it out, I can't talk to DH about it as he would be likely to ring her.

**~TT40~** · March 7th, 2012, 08:45 AM

*hugs*

**glenny_c** · March 7th, 2012, 08:55 AM

Oh honey, that's so not the news I was hoping for!! And so sad not to have the support of your Mum like you need. Just giving you a little hope though. I only have one functional tube which is one of the reasons we went through IVF to have DD. But this time I fell naturally, even with just one tube!! (AND PCOS AND Endo!!) It is amazing what the body can do!!!

**fromscratch** · March 7th, 2012, 06:29 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum being less than honest with you.
I had similar issues with my Mum. I asked her not to tell and she told the entire family at a 70th birthday party for my Cousin.
I wasn't even 8 weeks and asked her to keep it quiet due to the Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I didn't want all and sundry discussing my illness and how could I get pregnant again and risk my health all over again.....I know you understand what I'm saying.
Really if I could have avoided telling her I would have.

I wish you a sticky one and that everything settles quickly. Love and Hugs.

**LMM** · March 10th, 2012, 02:33 PM

Last night the inevitable happened, I miscarried. I was starting to get worried because I had been having really bad lower back pain for days and was worried about it possibly being related to another eptopic I rang my dr and found out that my HCG levels had dropped from 27 to 21 and a few hours later I started the bleed.

I have an appointment to see my dr on Monday and he told me last week that once this pregnancy was over he would have a series of blood tests run to try and find out what is going on. I don't know what to do from here I'm terrified that these 3 losses are going to mean that my chances of having another baby is very remote. But I'm not ready to give up yet. I just have to hope and pray that the last 15 months hasn't been for nothing.