Next time, I will... Next time, I will not..

[forshelby]

Oh! The things I would do differently in the delivery room.

I was just thinking about all the small details I would change- next time. I was wondering what others would do differently during a subsequent labour and birth.

I'll go first.
Next time I will-
Get naked at the earliest opportunity!
Demand all the pillows I feel I need, then proceed to arrange a nest on the floor if I see fit. (I was too worried about being an inconvenience, than doing my thing)
Stay off my back.
Drink more water. Maybe have a coffee. Make it a double
Bring my own music, because the stuff they were playing was messing up my groove. They insisted it was relaxing. It sucked so much having music I hated playing while I was also in agony, lol.
Bring something from home to clutch when I feel out of control.

Next time I will NOT-
Give up on myself or lose trust in my body.
Give a toss if my MW doesn't like the way I labour, or finds me annoying.
Submit so easily to the cascade of intervention.

[Maruschke]

Interesting thread!

This time I will not have a plan. I will release myself from anything prescriptive and just do my best with what gets put before me. I can't "plan" my birth but I can make the best choices as they arise, one by one.

That's all I've got O.o.

[PumpkinZulu]

Next time, I will not involve myself with a hospital. Even though my birth experience was great, its not where I wanted to be.

Next time I will have music! It would have been very welcome but I didn't think I'd want it.

Next time, I'll labour and birth in water. I don't think I'm much of a land beast

Next time, I'll hire a birth photographer. I wish I had better pictures, not just iPhone ones.

Next time, I will not have any fear, as I briefly did with DD during and shortly after transferring. I know what's coming and I know what my body is capable of now.

[ladybirdflies]

I have super quick labours, my longest has been 2 hours from first contraction to baby.... the first time I held on to get to the hospital as I was scared and had no idea how close I was to birth. The second time I held on because my mother and partner BEGGED me not to have the baby in the car. The third time my husband asked me to wait for the homebirth midwife to arrive so he could feel supported....


This baby I am not holding on for anyone!

[TeniBear]

Next time, I will not involve myself with a hospital. Even though my birth experience was great, its not where I wanted to be.

Next time I will have music! It would have been very welcome but I didn't think I'd want it.

Next time, I'll labour and birth in water. I don't think I'm much of a land beast

Next time, I'll hire a birth photographer. I wish I had better pictures, not just iPhone ones.

Next time, I will not have any fear, as I briefly did with DD during and shortly after transferring. I know what's coming and I know what my body is capable of now.

Aaaaalll of that except the specifics of why...

Plus:

I will NOT be induced, unless it's another stillbirth. I said this only a week before Amelia was born, but the fact I gave in proved I was right to begin with. If it is another stillbirth, s/he's being born at home after the hospital helps get my labour started.

And if I do end up in hospital again...

I will have my doula, husband, and mum reminding me that I can do what I want, **** what the doctor/midwife says.

I will NOT be strapped down again

If I'm told I have to labour in a postnatal room with another woman in it, I WILL tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine and go home to freebirth!

[fionas]

Next time I won't listen to anyone who doesn't know my medical history and makes me doubt my decision to have an elective caesarean. I will just have the caesarean and have a super fast recovery as I did with DD2.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I had next times for this birth and it wholeheartedly disappointed me which was unfortunate but I haven't given up entirely.
Until I get my notes I can't think about the next one but I would like to tentatively say next time I'm not leaving home

[Maruschke]

I had next times for this birth and it wholeheartedly disappointed me which was unfortunate but I haven't given up entirely.
Until I get my notes I can't think about the next one but I would like to tentatively say next time I'm not leaving home

Squishy hugs.

[TeniBear]

Okay, after a little debriefing via text message () I'm in a bit of a better frame of mind and will be more positive

I WILL be naked at home, except for maybe a dressing gown for some walking around the block. If I want to go outside naked, I'll go out the backyard and freak the neighbors out

In early labour, I will go to the DVD shop and get the funniest movies I can find to watch while I can stand it, because I've read laughter really helps things along. And how great would it be to LAUGH a baby out?

I WILL *PROBABLY* have two doulas - a student and an experienced one. Whoever's not with me at any given point in time can take notes so I have a kick-ass homebirth story to post to BB

I WILL involve my other children - Amelia can be my little babydoula, Ianto can watch over us and keep us safe as he did with Amelia.

I WILL TRY TO not name the baby prenatally. I will try to wait until I see their face to name them.

I WILL put baby straight to the breast with minimal help, and not be too spaced out to tell anyone if it hurts

I WILL think of more and come back to this thread

[phynna]

I will have my candles and music set up and ready
I will start filling my pool early
I will birth calmy and not scare my daughter
I will remember the enema so I don't poo in the pool over and over (eeeek)

I will not drive into town to waste early labour time and drive home having contractions
I will not waste all my hot water system on a long hot shower before filling the pool
I will not push and push too soon just because I feel stuck
I will not panic just because my plug hasn't shown and my waters haven't broken

[Loveinamist]

I will stay at home, make a nest, dim the lights, get everyone to shut up, have no music (I found even my favourite songs annoying) get the midwife to sit in the corner and knit unless I ask her to help me
I will be the one to say the sex of the baby
I will do skin to skin with cord intact
I will touch the head so I am the first to touch the baby
I will realise that the most important people in that room are the baby and me and everyone else can go to hell with what they want. (apart from DS who is not an adult so different of course!)

I will not find out the sex of the baby until it is born and I will ask the midwife to not declare it until I have seen first
I will not try to please anyone but me and DS and the new baby
I will not lie down on a bed at all but go to my nest if I need to rest.

[Miss.September]

I will breathe properly.
I will trust my body - it knows what to do
I won't push because someone suggests I try. I'll push when I feel the urge to push.
I will have music on
I will get DH to remove the clock on the wall that became my focus point and replace it with the first photo we took of DD post birth
I will actually get into the shower/bath instead of planning to and then never thinking about doing it while actually in labour
DH will be the one to tell me the sex of baby

[WannabeMum]

Wish I could have a list like the above!
I will have an elective caesar.
I will breastfeed my baby in recovery.
I will love skin to skin contact with my baby as soon as s/he is born.
I will ask them to do the apgars on my chest if baby is fine!


I will not hand my baby over to be weighed/measured, they can come to me.
I will not labour or achieve a vaginal birth. I have tried, and tried and I can't go there again. I farewell this opportunity and forgive myself for feeling sub-maternal. I can get them, I can gestate them, I can feed them, I can mother them, I just can't push them out. Please don't debate this with me, I am at peace.

[Kirley64]

I will avoid an induction unless it is really required.
I will not be strapped to a ctg n stuck on a bed.
I will not have a midwife I hate.
I will have delayed cord claming.
I will avoid needle to birth placenta.
I will stay at home as long as possible!

[FabFiona]

It's unlikely there will be a next time, but just in case....

I will not get pre-eclampsia and all the shenanigans that go along with that

[AndiE]

I think this is a great thread, but reading through it makes me feel a little bit sad. It's ridiculous that so many are unable to birth the way they want in our hospitals - private or public.
I've been lucky - maybe I'm in a minority? - I had my private hospital births my way. I went in knowing what I wanted, didn't let anyone dictate to me ... and had two great births. I still am proud of myself that I went against hospital advice and left when I only 1cm dilated with DS1 to go home to labour. They wanted me to stay because my waters had broken (yeah ... great reason to stay and be monitored in my book - not!). I returned as I said I would just 2-3 hours later at 7cm and had DS1 not long after.
Going public this time, but will go in with the same mind set.

I truly wish that when you all give birth next time, you get the birth you want - or at least get to choose what happens next ... xx

[LuluHB]

I've been lucky/chosen well with care so don't really have much to change (at least very little that is actually within my control), however . . .

I WILL NOT spend my labour having an anxiety attack over the outcome

I WILL have a slower birth than DD2's was and WILL NOT birth by the side of the road (she was born in hospital, but if we had lived where we do now I wouldn't have made it so very much on my mind this time)

I WILL tell any unwanted visitors to sod off.

[purplepixie1978]

Great thread! My DD's birth was pretty amazing, but in hindsight there's a couple of things I want to do differently - I simply know better now.

I will:
Pack my bag before 36 weeks. Trying to pack during labour sucked!
Print my list of wishes (delayed cord clamping, physiological third stage, chest crawl and baby-led attachment) - last time I hadn't printed this and by the time I got to the hospital I was too far gone (it all happened very quickly) and I just couldn't articulate anything but "no drugs".
trust that I know when and how to push.
Wear a sarong or be brave enough to birth in the buff. Stupid gown.
hopefully birth in a more comfortable position (ie not on my back)
announce the gender to DH again

I will not:
submit to AROM, internals or monitoring unless I appear to not be progressing
"just hop up onto the bed"
listen to conflicting advice from midwives in the nursery re: breastfeeding.

I think that's about it. Looking forward to birthing my Pud