What do you expect from LOs in terms of tidying up?
DDs 1 and 2 are turning 5 and 4 over the next week and I've been wondering lately what is reasonable to expect of them in terms of tidying up their toys, rooms etc.
The girls have a toy room, which is fantastic because I can close the door on the mess if necessary, but now that they're getting bigger they can reach more stuff in cupboards and on shelves etc, and so if left to amuse themselves for longer than 17.3 seconds its chaos in there. They are both required to tidy different areas at kindy and pre-primary and I am constantly told by their teachers what helpful little girls they are. Unfortunately it doesn't carry over at home though and I get nothing but whinging and complaints when I ask them to tidy up - even to just make a start.
I don't think its unreasonable at their age to take some responsibility for the mess they make with their own things - is it??
Not at all. I think it is very responsible to start them at this age.
We have a rule that all toys need to be tidied for meals. This way there is an incentive as well.
However I have made things non confusing for them at this age too. Rather than saying clean your room which is so broad?!
I have photos and words on their clothes draws so they know where to put things away.
And tubs with the same for each toy style or set. It sets a clear expectation and also they know they cant say but I don't know where it does as it is all black and white for them until they are older and can make their own decisions on where things bellong
Also if they ask for an activities which is restricted ( ie supervised only such as painting or computer games ) they must clean up the previous activity first, they catch on pretty quick with routine. Just say it once maybe twice and eventually even if that may mean an hour of whining it will be done as they will realise the reward eventually
DD has just turned 3 and we've been working on this for a while.
She's given simple instructions - could you please put your bowl on the bench, could you put your pencils away, food wrappers into the bin etc.
I get her to help me tidy up the lounge room and her bedroom before the TV is allowed on. She won DH over a while back - she's only allowed to watch TV from 4pm and it was far earlier. She cleaned all of her toys up and put everything away without being asked and then asked him if she could watch TV That made me realise that she is more than capable of understanding what we're asking of her.
My 2.5 and 5yo are expected to clean up.. But instead of saying - go clean up the loungeroom (where they mostly bring their toys and play) I will say hey DD can you pick up all the books, DD2 can you pick up all the babies and mummy will pick up the rubbish. then the job doens't seem that big and it's done in no time ;D
I have no experience with this given I'm currently pregnant with #1, but when I was over at my friends the other night for dinner, she was telling me about the system she has for her DD who is 3. Every night she can earn 3 stickers. 1 for eating all her dinner, 1 for cleaning her toy room and 1 for cleaning her bedroom. Then at the end of the week if she's earnt a certain number of stickers she gets a special present. I think last weeks present was a colouring book.
My 6 year old is expected to pick up all the toys, tidy his room, help empty the dishwasher, take out the recycling, put away his folded washing and will help when the whole house does a big tidy up. He also helps his sister pack their lunches. They are expected to empty their bags after school, put their lunchboxes in the sink, put away any dirty clothes and just normal stuff. He's been helping out since he was probably 2 with varying degrees (ie pick up after himself) and the other jobs have come up as he sees his older sister have more responsibilities.
My children help out. We all do. I've tried incentives in the past and it makes no difference. Appreciation and the fact they feel proud when they keep their rooms tidy is enough for them.
I found rewards like stickers don't work for my DS. He will only do things for TV time and even then he whinges lol! He will put his uneaten food in the bin & plate in the sink. We praise him & he loves the attention and being able to do "big boy" things. He will only help clean up if we make it fun. Even DD will "help". She loves to put the blocks away. Then take them out again DS will do races (let's see how quick we can put the books away!) Throwing games (can you get your matchbox car in the box?). Bribing him with TV sometimes works (if you do X, you can watch TV) but sometimes he just won't and will go into meltdown if we push it. He is 3.
Thanks ladies. Nice to know that despite the whinging that comes with it a lot of the time, what I'm expecting of my girls isn't out of the ordinary.
I find it such a frustrating part of parenting at the moment that while they used to be really good at tidying and eager to help, lately its gone backwards and its such a fight to get anything done.
I started DD1 on packing away toys at about 3.5 years old. I found before that, it was more of a struggle to get her to help than was worth it. I did start out with little bits and generally increased what I expected her to help with as she got older, as in, I try to keep it age appropriate. DD2 is only just about to turn 2 so she doesn't help with pack up generally, but, because we are all cleaning up she might help (might just as likely make more mess too…) Still, she does follow the example generally and when she gets a bit older I will certainly give her a fair share of pack up responsibility.
At 4 and 5 I would absolutely expect some pack up assistance.
I find what works best is to break down the task - Can you pack up the puzzles while I do the books? How about we start with the Dolls clothes together? Can you tidy up your table? etc
I also have a clear designated place for everything so the kids know exactly where things belong.
The other thing I use is a pack up song. I bought a song on itunes, "pack up time" by the Mudcakes. It is brilliant, a fun upbeat song to race around the room cleaning up to. It works a treat with everyone singing and cleaning up together and when the song is done, we generally have the house back in order. The Mudcakes are a local Melbourne kids band too so I am doubly happy supporting Australian music
I find that I get a better result (less carry on) if we all muck in together. Often we'll set the timer and see if we can beat it (not each other as we have rivalry +++ here). Also they need direction and a clear idea of what goes where so I am sorting out storage and making surethings have a place. Trying to encourage them to take pride in their work and their things at the same time. Definitely a work in progress here.
We started when the kids were around 2 to help pack their toys away.
Now DS is nearly 5 & DD is nearly 3, we ask a bit more of them. DS now makes/straightens his bed in the mornings, puts his clothes in the laundry, tidies his room, puts his dishes in the sink and helps to tidy the lounge room. He also checks the letters & brings the bins in. The last two are his choice and he takes great pride in doing it!
DD mostly just twirls around trying to look like a princess & thinks she's too beautiful to do anything We're working on her but I think we have a fair way to go When she decides to help she puts her washing in the laundry & her dishes in the sink, she tries to help tidy up but usually just chucks stuff anywhere.
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What do you expect from LOs in terms of tidying up?
That made me realise that she is more than capable of understanding what we're asking of her.
DS will do races (let's see how quick we can put the books away!) Throwing games (can you get your matchbox car in the box?). Bribing him with TV sometimes works (if you do X, you can watch TV) but sometimes he just won't and will go into meltdown if we push it. He is 3.
We're working on her but I think we have a fair way to go
When she decides to help she puts her washing in the laundry & her dishes in the sink, she tries to help tidy up but usually just chucks stuff anywhere.
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