please help so worried about my daughters behaviour

[1pj]

Im at my wits end and dont knwo what to do,my DD was 3 in Febuary she has always been a very strong willed demanding child but also a very loving child,she reminds me of that song about the little girl with the little curl who when is good is very good but when bad rotten...but the last few weeks maybe even months she has turned into an absolute nightmare,for example we got asked out to someones place and when we were leaving she didnt want to go and just carried on out of control,shes had tannies before but nothign like this kicking screaming yelling for ages wouldnt calm down no matter what id did or said and i couldnt get her in the car as arms were going on and on and she was crying terribley and screaming it was awful and totally stressed me out,since then shes done it again just over not wanting to get out the car or in the car and i know ive seen other children do it but not to her extent and why all of a sudden??Then her behaviour has changed too shes so naughty everyday hitting her brother(ten months)and just theres no reasoning i cant reason with her if i say no to something she still does it,i feel like everyday im loossing my cool because shes out of control and she keeps repeating over and over and as soon as i say no or wait a minute she crys terribley and throws self on the floor,my DH just thinks shes been maybe spoilt or given into much to but i think there is something very wrong she is acting very strange to me,and repeating herself...she goes on and on about something mum can i watch a movie?over and over MUUUUUUUM just yelling and then going on and on repeating herself over and over untill i snap and last night she was really strange at night i was up most the night with her shes usually a good sleeper but she was up crying all night going on about a sore leg when there was nothing there and wanted me to put a bandaid on then off and just crying out of control and just acting very strange,i dont have many friends with kids the same age so i dont know if this is normal but even if it all is her behaviour is soooo draining and im finding it hard not to be resentful towarsd her and in the night i nearly lost it,she just wont reason and keeps repeating whatever it is she wants wont even listen to whast im saying wont behave,wont come when asked,speaks rudely,where did my nice little girl go?Please help i am a mess

[Kazzo]

Big hugs hun, sounds like you have a beautiful but full on little girl. I don't know if I can help much, have you tried just stopping everything your doing when one of her tantrums starts. Just (if it is safe) walk away from her and find something else that takes your focus and seeing what she does?

And the sore leg thing, growing pains perhaps? My 3 year old gets them a lot at the moment. She may have also hurt her leg (muscles) and it was causing her pain.

Maybe you could see your GP and see if they have any reccomendations for you. Or your MCHN?

I hope you get some help soon.

[Tegam]

Whilst it might be more serious, to me it sounds normal. I have always found three hard for girls. But magically at four they are nice again. People say terrible twos..... No way. Three is much worse.

Try a heat pack on her legs at night.

Hugs. This parenting caper is tough

[sloane]

People say terrible twos..... No way. Three is much worse.

oh boy :eek:

has there been any change to her diet or is she taking any medication (or has been recently)? there are some foods/additives/colourings that are known to have a bad effect on kids especially. and medication - my ds sounds very like your dd but after he had croup & was prescribed a steroid, he went crazy & all his behaviour became alot worse.

if it is just bevahiour then (&this is just my opinion!) i think you need to make sure your response is consistent. i found some goid techniques in the happiest toddler on the block (i think it was) about how to make little people feel like you understand & that you are listening.

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[Nai]

Three year old girls are hard work - I call mine a threenager! Having been there twice it does sound like she is full on but showing normal 3yo behaviours.

I found with DD2 that I need to set very firm boundaries eg. if she has a tantrum at swimming and refuses to do what is asked or behaves in a way that is dangerous then we leave. If it is more of an emotional meltdown then I need to remove her from the situation, sit somewhere quiet and just have some cuddle time.

It's not that she is spoilt but she will be having lots of emotions and doesn't have the maturity or understanding of how to deal with them. She will also probably behave differently for different people eg DD2 does things for DP that she won't do for me and vice versa. I find DD2 is also dreaming a lot and has trouble differentiating dreams from reality, she just doesn't understand yet. The leg thing might be a fabrication but could also be growing pains - heatpacks are a good idea for that.

I found with DD1 that she did get a lot better as she approached 4 and I notice that DD2 is already having fewer meltdowns at 3.5 than she did at 3 so it does get better. In the meantime set the non-negotiable boundaries (safety etc) and try to help her by guiding her emotions until she can do it herself.

[Mum2SweetCs]

Hun, its true, theres terrible twos but we call ours tantrum threes. DD chucked more tantrums when she was 3 than I can remember. Everything was a struggle, everything met with stubborn attitude to do the opposite.

Hopefully, your DD will become angelic again, DD still is defiant but at least we can reason with her now (she just turned 4).

[~Kim~]

Three sucks
My little guy was 3 in Feb too and he is doing everything just as you described. Obviously I got off lightly with DD1.

[RhiChiChi]

Our DD was a shocker at 3 yo - similar behaviour and pretty much what Nai posted is what our DD was like. She just couldn't express her emotions alot of the time and was frustrated so a tantrum would follow suit. Most of the time I'd just walk away (if safe) and not make a fuss, she seemed to clam down alot quicker. I would rule out any dietry changes though just in case.

[Taurean]

Sounds a bit like my 2 year old so it looks like we are screwed come September

No advice, just one of these Hopefully it passes soon. I miss my little easy going girl too and am so grateful for the random lovely, easy periods throughout the day. Lol

[surprised]

Check out the 123 magic course and see if there's one near you. I just did it through our community health centre and I couldn't recommend it more highly to help with this sort of thing. Gave us a lot more confidence too.

[Glamoreyez]

My DD is nearing 3 in 3 ish weeks and I have noticed this kind of behavior happening more and more...
I just try to keep my reactions as consistent as possible with firm boundaries. I try to stay as calm as possible too because the more emotional I am in response the worse she gets... I also try to remember that she is going through so many confusing changes and it won't last forever...
Hugs hun...