Freaking out a little - how do I fix this?

[~Ash~]

I've had extended family around my place a lot lately and DD has been on cloud 9 playing with my cousins kids - one in particular who is 2 years older than her - I'll call him L (he has just turned 8).

Last night while I was tucking her in she mentioned to me that she didn't think older boys would like playing with her barbies with her - and that all he wanted to do was take off their clothes and make them have sex.

I am just shocked by it - and now have it churning around in my head freaking me out instead of being able to think straight to fix it.

DD doesn't know much about sex at all - she picked up the word a somehow a while ago and she was happy enough with my explanation that 'it's something adults do when they are in a relationship' and it's just been left at that. Apart from that she knows it takes a man and woman to make a baby but again - she's never shown further interested than that so we've never gone into more detail.

I'm really worried that I don't know exactly what happened - As far as I can tell he was playing that these barbies were watching movies about sex on the tv and then having sex together.

I'm not sure how to handle it -
Do I just let her know that she can ask me if she wants to?
Or push for detail of what happened specifically in the game so I can make sure there wasn't anything inappropriate?
Or forget the game happened and have my own conversation with her about it?
Or just leave it and see if she brings it up?

As you can see my brain is going into meltdown - I'm very aware that I'm already over protective about this kind of thing with DD already - and my hormone levels today are not helping at all!! I really need some non-hormonal perspectives to get this right lol


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[Jaycee]

I have no experience whatsoever with this kind of thing, but if it were me I think I'd be pushing for the details of what happened.

I can completely understand how you must be feeling, I'd be the same I think.

[sepata]

This happened to me when I was about 6 maybe, I can't remember if I picked up sex from a friend or if my little best friend picked it up from one of her friends, but we used to play Barbies and they used to have a sex room where two barbies could go and have sex. I remember my friends mum finding out somehow, I think she asked us what the barbies were doing, and looking back I think she handled it well. She asked us what we thought sex was and why we thought our barbies wanted to have sex, and when we couldn't really answer she said that maybe if our barbies wanted to have sex they would only want to do it in private not while we were there. And it worked, we never played Barbie sex room again!

Maybe because you're coming in after the fact, not finding them playing like my friends mum, you could ask her to show you the game her cousin taught her? Might be easier to talk to her about it without seeming interrogating maybe ? I have no experience with this as an adult, only as a kid! Hope you figure it out

[Marley&Me]

I have no experience either but, is it possible you could bring it up with his mother? And maybe she could ask L what that was all about.

[Starfish]

I'm not sure that kids that age even know what sex is, so it may just be a word that your DD or L are using without actually knowing what it means. I remember when my sister and I were little we thought that "sex" was kissing someone in a car or a bed. (Really ) If you're worried, maybe talk to L's mother, but chances are it could be something completely innocent.

[black_rose]

I wouldn't ask her anymore questions just mention it to the mum and supervise their play for a bit so you can intervene and get them to play differently. Sounds like he has accidentally seen something he shouldn't have.

[misty]

6yrs and 8 yrs are the ages kids start talking about this kind of stuff. It sounds completely normal. I wouldn't push the issue, maybe just supervise play together a bit closer and tell his mum about it.

[nothing2lose]

6yrs and 8 yrs are the ages kids start talking about this kind of stuff. It sounds completely normal. I wouldn't push the issue, maybe just supervise play together a bit closer and tell his mum about it.

I agree 100%

Totally normal at this age.

[Butterfly Dawn]

If you push for details thiings can start getting twisted, kids can sense our concern and often get scared so memories change. i like the idea of 'show me the game' but in a day or so? sounds pretty normal and harmless really. but don't see why supervised play wouldst hurt if your really worried

Sent from my Galaxy, please forgive the mistakes

[~Ash~]

Thanks so much for the replies - I've kept myself distracted today and am feeling a lot less crazy about the whole thing.

I sat down with her and had a chat about sex being an adult thing and not something little kids should be playing with barbies but if she wanted to talk/ask about anything then she can ask me. She thought for a long time and asked me why my sewing measuring tape was so much longer than the ruler we have so I've decided maybe I'm over reacting about the whole thing - she doesn't seem to care at all lol

Thanks again - I think I will be keeping a closer eye on the games that are being played for a while though.


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