Reply With QuoteSo many of her points are exactly why I wanted to keep my (now) 5 1/2 year old out of school until next year. I am so happy I did. For me it was a simple choice really.
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When to start School
I just came across this podcast on ABC about kids starting school and though it was fantastic. It features Kathy Walker - an early childhood specialist who I already have a great respect for, even more so after listening to this.
Kathy has some interesting things to say about the benefits of not hurrying, the myth about children becoming bored if they don't get sent to schools, the differences between boys and girls in development and readiness for schools and about the signs of readiness for school.
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So many of her points are exactly why I wanted to keep my (now) 5 1/2 year old out of school until next year. I am so happy I did. For me it was a simple choice really.
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It is nice to hear her thoughts when it resonates with yours isn't it 3LM? I'm glad it was a simple choice for you. It can be a difficult one as there are so many differing opinions out there and a lot of conflicting advice. I really like the way Kathy talks and the way she puts things. She has put my mind at ease with my thoughts for my DD2 who is a May baby and just misses the cut off. It is not that I wish I could send her early, just that I am glad I have the perfect excuse to keep her back and give her more time to be a child. I love the idea of a child with an extra year being in a stronger position to cope, have resilience, be a leader, be competent and confident.
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Love Kathy walker!
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It's really nice to have a professional (although I am an early childhood teacher myself) say the same things I have said all along about sending children to 'big' school so early. Particularly when I was met with a lot of surprised 'really??'s from friends and family, because DDis bright and would have been ok at school this year. Her b'day is in mid April, so she is a good few months off the age cut off for school.
But IMO, kids are little for such a short time, I think we should keep them little for as long as it's possible, and by keeping them home, not going to formal school institutions at 4 1/2 or just 5 years old, they remain that little bit more innocent and 'baby' for a little bit longer. A year is nothing in the grand scheme of their lives, but at this time of their lives (when they are 4 and 5) it could be everything.
I think I have given my daughter a leg up. I think she will have the upper hand at school now, because she's a whole year older (in some cases more than a year older) than many of her peers, who in reality, she will be 'competing' against. Plus she is so much more emotionally mature and will be able to cope with the challenges of school more readily. She would have coped this year had she gone to school, but I don't want her to cope. I want her to excel. As parents we try to provide the best for our children, I think in keeping DD home for an extra year, I have done that for her.
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Re: When to start School
I have a May Baby and a July baby and now I really wish that I had planned it better so they could both go a year earlier not due to wanting them to "learn" earlier but due to the extra year will have to pay for childcare - it has a big impact if you need to return to work and have to rely on childcare. Partly is because am from UK and there DD would start Sep 2013 here is Jan 2015 and I had a great school experience so find it hard to grasp why is better for kids to start so late here (particularly if just means an extra year in full time child care). Are schools more school like in first years here than UK therefore children need to be older? Couldn't schools change their approach so could start earlier which would be an enabler for women returning to work. I know Scandinavian countries are often quoted for late school starting but they are much more progressive in attitudes to parental leave, part time working etc also.
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That was really good to listen to.
I had no choice when to send DD1 and thankfully it so far seems to be working for her. She is about the middle age wise and the upper end for reading etc.
DD2 is different. She just makes the cut off, so I could have sent her to kinder this year, rather than next year when she is going. I feel it is right for her and so do others who work in that area. Sadly though I still cop it that I am sending her "late", when I really see it as sending her "on time". To me she would have lost a year to have sent her at the first opportunity (there is almost 3 year between her and DD1, to send her sooner would mean only 2 years between them at school).
I am breathing a sigh of relief after listening to the podcast, as it helped confirm that we have made the right decision for DD2.
We do have huge childcare expenses, but for me that was never a factor in when to send her, but I can see how it could be. I would love to be saving some of that money (not all of it saving, some is offset against school fees, vacation care, providing packed lunches etc). The money is just not worth the issues that would arise by sending her early.
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This is exactly what I am thinking. (As well as agreeing with the rest of your excellent post!
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I was frustrated when I realised that DD2 was 10 days past the cut off date and was already showing all the signs of being ready for the next stage. She has the whole second child thing of rushing to keep up/catch up and seems to be so much more advanced than DD1 was at her age. However, when I thought about it, I realised that although it was a frustrating thought that I would have another whole year trying to find care for her or being limited by not being back in the workforce, it was a blessing in disguise as I had more time for her to develop a wider range of skills she will need through out life. I keep thinking that in the scheme of things, this is such a short time of her/our life and such an important one. I am glad that I am able to leave the hurry for school for later and give her a chance to leap into it with both feet and a confident spirit later.
Whsiwyg - I think you make a very good point about the rock and the hard place we find ourselves in with regards to the costs of care and being out of the work force. Our system/society is not really well set up to support young families and early education. Kathy also made the point on the podcast, that the cost of childcare is prohibitive to many families and is part of the decision to send children to school. I feel really lucky that I am able to be out of the workforce and be open to DD2 starting school later - I know not everyone has that luxury of choice.
Astrid - I'm so glad that podcast helped confirm your choice. It is such a difficult decision, even when it is an easy one and can leave you with such conflicting thoughts. I'm sorry though that you have negative feedback from others. I think sometimes people reflect their own sensitivities regarding the issue on to you when it comes to school age readiness, as if your decision to hold back says something about their decision to send their child. Really, it is up to each individual and their own family circumstances. I just think that information like this from Kathy is imperative when making such decisions.
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Can I ask what ages you started school and how do you think it affected your schooling? You see I was 4 years and 3 months when I started and I adored school and did very well academically, and don't feel that early start has impacted adversely at all (my experiences also don't tally with the older you are the better you cope, have resilience be a leader etc as I would have been in the youngest third of my year group but frequently was in leadership positions and so were others similar age and those in the first third of the year group the only area I remember them excelling at particularly was sport as the extra physical size helped) So my experience gives me the opposite view in that DD is missing out by not having that extra year at school because I loved it so much - and I don't really get that school makes them grow up any more quickly than anything else. I realize she is not me and may be different - but at 3.5 she is already very keen to go to school, is in the oldest room at CC and is going to be in there for two more years. DS might be different can't tell yet but I know my mum has always said my brother would have benefited from an extra year at home (not possible in the UK), and from her experience in a nursery school that many boys would have.
Lots of UK friends often ask me (especially as they are all enrolling their first-borns to start Sep 2013) - why do they start so late here? I need to work out how to answer that one. Are UK kids who all start before there 5th birthday so different from kids here, are they negatively affected or is it that the first year in school in UK is less formal than here? I suppose I also struggle with the idea that is better to send them later but is ok for them to be at CC which seems to me, to becoming more and more like 'school' anyway (is vastly different from home environment IMO).
Really my issues are driven by how it gels with trying to be in the workforce, if I could stay home despite my love of school as a child I would be more than happy with the later start - and things like when starting school lots of schools they don't go in on a Wednesday for the first term - how if you are working (part-time or full-time) are you meant to deal with that? Was it really so bad that when I went to school we started 5 days a week 9:00 till 15:30 straight away - and then most had never been in childcare so away from parents for much time.
Maybe school is vastly different from how I remember it, seeing as it is regarded as so formal, and such a big jump and from what I saw of the 'graduation' from kinder room at CC last week such a massive deal is made of starting it (doesn't this in itself put pressure onto children?).
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I made the decision to hold my DS1 back. If i had sent him to school this year he would have turned 5 approx 10 days before he began school and in my heart and mind i just couldn't do that. He is a very bright boy, very outgoing and in many ways 'seemed' well and truely ready to go to school but i knew from working at a PS myself -i'm not a teacher- and speaking to teachers i heard numerous times how benificial it is to hold them back if possible for the social/emotional side of things. My mind was made up when i booked him in for 3 year old kinder (he turned 4 just proir to beginning 3 year old).
DS2 is different in many ways to DS1, not as confident and outgoing in new and unknown situations. I had him in one day a week of care this year and it took him up until the beginnnig of the 3rd term to come out of his shell and even mutter a word. I was seriously beginning to consider taking him out and just keeping him home with me but at the same time knew it was probably the best for him socially and emotionally to be there. He is a March baby, he will be 4 this coming year and he is just about to begin 3 year old kinder and he has given me the clear signs that this is just what he needs.
THEN i have my DD, the decision hasn't been as easy with her because i have also heard many times how girls are that little more mature. And she is one clever little thing who has done her absolute best (and succeeded) in keeping up with her brothers. So she'll turn 3 at the end of next year and i could send her on to 3 year old kinder but i'd kind of be going against my belief so far. Just this week i handed in her 3yr old kinder application and i put her down for 2015 (she'll be 4) and listening to that podcast has just helped me feel confident in my decision (i was before but even more so now).
wysiwyg i understand what you're saying about having to struggle with childcare fees. My boys both attended FDC but once DD had arrived i knew i was going to have to be home permanently as 3 in care was not possible. It's not easy but we had no other option.
I started school at 4 yrs and 8 months but i had a different expereince to wysiwyg. Obviously it comes down to the individuals themselves aswell. I struggled academicaly and was held back in grade 3, my self esteem, confidence and abilty to feel i had a place was very low, especially after staying back. So this too has a lot to do with my decision for my kids.
Thanks for the link Jackrose it was a really interesting and informative listen
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I don't personally remember too much about my starting school or have a feeling either way about how I coped in school, but then I am a Jan baby, right in the middle of the age bracket and right on 5 when starting school. I also think a lot of other factors would have contributed to my school readiness (or not being ready, whatever the case my have been) such as my position in the family, quality of preschool education, the parenting philosophy of my parents, my general personality etc… one of the points Kathy made in the podcast really resonated with me on this - it is not really about one size fits all. She states that she takes each child at their merit when assessing them for school readiness and prefers not to know their age but purely judge them as they present. I think the crux is, that it really depends on each child. There are certainly reasons to send a child to school just as much as there are reasons to keep them back another year. It is a decision we need to make with the teachers and carers of our children with a lot of different things in mind.
As for the difference between school here and in the UK, I honestly don't know wysiwyg. I can only make decisions based on what I know here as this is my experience, but I can understand how confusing it must be to have quite differing opinions, start ages and possibly schooling systems to have to compare. FWIW, I do think there are many instances where 'younger' children cope really well with school and you were obviously one of them. I think there are also a lot of good teachers out there who can make a huge difference for some children who might otherwise struggle. So many factors to consider and weigh up.
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I have an april baby and a jan baby and not sure what i will be doing yet. DD is starting 3 year old kinder next year, and i have the option of 2 years of 3 year old kinder or into 4 year old kinder following year. so far no formal childcare, and i think she is ready to spend some time away from me.
i know that i, and 3/4 of my siblings, were often bored at school and so i don't want dd to get bored because she then finds her own entertainment. however, one sibling was a March baby and would have benefited from an extra year before starting. I am just going to see what happens next year before making a decision.
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The podcast did say the UK is one of the earliest starters. So rather than asking "why is Aus so late?", which it is not in comparison to other countries, it is early. The question is "why is the UK so early?"
I spoke to DH after I posted last night and asked if he could see DD2 in a school uniform next year. He pretty much said no way. Now people could take that as her being behind etc, but she is far from it, she is just plain to young to be going to primary school next year. Watching her with the other kids at Kinder orientation, she seemed "just right" with most of them.
I don't recall much about when I started school, but more the later years. In yr 12 I was turning 18, whilst many kids were turning 18 in the following May, reflecting now I can see the differences in just that one year at the end of schooling.
I do love that the podcast said that finishing school is not a race/competition and think that is something we need to keep in mind when it comes to our children.
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When to start School
My husband started school early, he was 4 and a half. He said he didn't cope at all, and ended up repeating in grade 5 which he said was the best thing he ever did. And he went to a small country school. My husband is a very intelligent man, but he said he was a shy child and being so young a school didn't work for him.
My parents on the other hand could have sent me at 4 and a half but didn,t, I enjoyed being an older one in my school group, especially in high school and much fathered starting University having my license and being able to legally go to a pub.
Luckily my DH and I don't have to make this decision. Our son was must have know our feelings and was born on the 1st of may, one day after the cut off in VIC
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Yep absolutely!
I started school at 4 and turned 5 around 6 weeks later in March. While I did well academically, I was painfully shy and really struggled socially. My parents say that in hindsight they would have kept me at home another year. I do remember not enjoying the first half of primary school because I was so shy.
My DD missed the cut off to start school this year by 16 days. Glad the decision is out of my hands! I'm happy she'll start next year at 5yrs 8months which I think is perfect.
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When to start School
At this stage we plan to start DS at 4yrs9mths as he makes the cut off by 7 days and has happily been in childcare since he was 15 months for a couple of days a week. He'll start in 2014. At this stage we are pretty comfortable as he is a social child who is cluey and already doing the kindy program at childcare so can already spell and do a lot of reception year activities. However if at age 4.5 we see signs that indicate he is not ready then we can change our mind and hold him back.
WYSIWYG - I'd be interested in the UK reasons too, especially as DS will be 4 we he starts
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Re: When to start School
Is true the reverse question applies why is UK early? Why is cut off different in diff states (both mine could go year earlier in NSW if I chose)? Why not have a more straightforward system where you just have to be five by starting school? (I think I would find this far easier to understand)
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I personally don't like that it is not straight forward, as it does cause all the early vs late nonsense, as opposed to on time. Talking to the teachers locally, they would prefer a straight, "if you turn xx during the calendar year, then you start"
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