thread: Do you make sure kids are equal at big family events?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    In a cloud of madness.
    4,053

    Do you make sure kids are equal at big family events?

    Tho year Xmas is at my mums house and all 5 grand kids will be there. We don't have heaps to spend as does bro and sil.
    I still like to make sure that all the kids have equal amounts of presents so there is no ill feeling. I remember as a kid siting there on Xmas morning with my one present and my cousins with heaps.
    Dh is an only child and doesn't get it, the jealous that kids can feel and I don't want that spoil Xmas. I'm jut annoyed that he keep getting cranky when he keeps buying stuff for our kids (that they don't need) and then expect me I r happy that the others are missing out.
    Am I the only one that likes things to be equal??

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    Bayside Melb.
    834

    Im a thinker re kids should get equal stuff .... heres me went to rejuect shop amd bought heaps for hardly anything but equal amount for each niece or nephew i have

  3. #3

    We are going to a friends on the 27th to present swap between the kids. She said 'oh you don't have to buy anything for xxx" who is her 16yr old son. I did anyway because I wouldn't want to be the only kid not opening something that day.

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    Can you leave the excess of presents that are for your own kids till you are home & left for after the cousins are gone? I think its reasonable to try and make sure everyone is opening a set amount of things when you are all together but I don't think what you buy for your own children should be limited by what the parents of the cousins buy for them KWIM.

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2010
    2,793

    Are you doing all your presents at your Mums? I ask because if its just a few cant you all agree just to bring a couple of pressies for each child there? Whilst I don't think it's fair for one child to have one or two pressies, and others to have heaps, I was taught from a young age that different things cost different amounts, so whilst I may not have as many, there could be similar dollar value..... Depending on the age of all the kids, they may understand that...

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    In a cloud of madness.
    4,053

    Do you make sure kids are equal at big family events?

    I've kept some for home for that reason.
    All presents are at mums.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    i don't do equal presents for my kids. My little one doesn't need much this year, my older one does and so she is getting more things and more in financial terms too. i don't feel the need to buy extra (unneccessary?) things for DS just to make it equal. The year he is going to kinder etc, he will probably get more than dd.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    3,300

    i don't do equal presents for my kids. My little one doesn't need much this year, my older one does and so she is getting more things and more in financial terms too. i don't feel the need to buy extra (unneccessary?) things for DS just to make it equal. The year he is going to kinder etc, he will probably get more than dd.
    Same here - I don't think it is necessary to be equal in number or in financial.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    I've kept some for home for that reason.
    All presents are at mums.
    so do you all sleep over so you wake on christmas morning there? Or do you head over first thing? Im confused lol..
    We do our chirstmas at home in the morning & then make our way too who's house its at that year (at home this year! yay) so the gifts exchanged between cousins etc happens later & does not include what our children got from us. Only what we are giving to cousins & cousins giving to our kids.

    Thats lovely that you share christmas morning with your extended family. Would drive me bonkers though!

  10. #10
    Registered User

    May 2005
    Canberra
    3,617

    Between my four children, we do try and keep things somewhat 'equal' (at the moment that is in ters of the number of presents, not the value). But I would never even consider trying to keep things equal for neices or nephews! That is for their parents. I also wouldn't stress that my kids don;t get as much as my nephew (who we send christmas day with and always gets more then them) - they know, the presents they get from us, are from us. The presents he gets are from 'his' mum. Nor do we try to keep equal with santa pressents; santaonly brings our kids a few little items. They realise things are different for their cousin then it is for them, but they know that he is from a different household, and everything s different there. They are from my household and this is how things work here. I do not like the idea of pandering to the commercialism of christmas - we always emphasis to our kids the imortance of giving over receiving, and if they are jealous or ungreatful for what they have received simply because the cousin got more, then I would robly be packing up what they did get and giving it to Vinnies.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    In a cloud of madness.
    4,053

    Do you make sure kids are equal at big family events?

    so do you all sleep over so you wake on christmas morning there? Or do you head over first thing? Im confused lol..
    We do our chirstmas at home in the morning & then make our way too who's house its at that year (at home this year! yay) so the gifts exchanged between cousins etc happens later & does not include what our children got from us. Only what we are giving to cousins & cousins giving to our kids.

    Thats lovely that you share christmas morning with your extended family. Would drive me bonkers though!
    We are all travelling to mums this year bro is in qld so the whole of Xmas is at mums from Christmas Eve until Boxing Day. Presents are all exchanged throughout the day at mums so thy aren't overloaded. All kids have presents from respective parents/ aunty and uncle and grandparents. Dhs au ft got girls presents which I've kept and they can open when they get home on Boxing Day night. If we were just ping for part of the day I won't e so worried but te whole thing is at one place.

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    Between my four children, we do try and keep things somewhat 'equal' (at the moment that is in ters of the number of presents, not the value). But I would never even consider trying to keep things equal for neices or nephews! That is for their parents. I also wouldn't stress that my kids don;t get as much as my nephew (who we send christmas day with and always gets more then them) - they know, the presents they get from us, are from us. The presents he gets are from 'his' mum. Nor do we try to keep equal with santa pressents; santaonly brings our kids a few little items. They realise things are different for their cousin then it is for them, but they know that he is from a different household, and everything s different there. They are from my household and this is how things work here. I do not like the idea of pandering to the commercialism of christmas - we always emphasis to our kids the imortance of giving over receiving, and if they are jealous or ungreatful for what they have received simply because the cousin got more, then I would robly be packing up what they did get and giving it to Vinnies.
    I like your style