After a bad run of health issues and a lot of stresses that can't be avoided DS's sleep, both day and nights are terrible.
A bit of back ground : He used to be great. Self settle, any where anytime in my arms or out. Then at 6 months there was a huge change in the family and he weaned and we identified a dairy allergy. At 8 months we got into a sleep clinic but they identified a chronic ear infection and adenoids that were enormous. Operation to sort that out and we had a bit of luck then he developed Kawasaki disease and it threw everything out again. Add to that another huge change in our situation that's now causing even more stress.
So now he won't settle in my arms, will lie in his cot either wrapped or in a sleeping bag quietly if I'm there but scream if I leave. He'll fall asleep in the car but will wake when I get him out. He'll eventually fall asleep in his cot or in my bed up to two hours to settle but at 11 he'll wake and be unsettled for an hour or so and then sleep with me for the rest of the night.
I have a great evening routine, dinner, bath, bottle, quiet time then bed and that was established months ago but doesn't seem to help.
Does anyone have any suggestions for routines or books to read? I really need my sleep to help cope with my DD's and him and I'm at my wits end
You've both been through a lot!
Sounds like you're already doing pretty much everything you can to help him sleep. Perhaps what you need now is more help yourself to catch a break - is that an option for you?
All the best
My support people have come to my rescue lately but my family are the main ones who give me a break and they are even more stressed by the current situation than me makes it really hard.
Your little one has been through such a big thing in his life. It’s hard to know how he experiences it - but he has some serious and ongoing health problems and even for a grown up this would be very scary. He’s probably undergone a whole lot of tests and painful procedures - and the only thing he trusts is you. It’s unlikely that he will respond to routines at this point. He needs you - and you need support. This is the time that you need to call on any support networks you have - they need to hold you so you can hold him. Many babies respond well to being in a baby sling (and some-times it takes a lot of practice - and a bit of screaming at the start, but eventually, close to you, he will learn to relax and let himself sleep. he might find it easier in a cot or basinette near you (even with the TV going) until he falls asleep. Will he sleep in bed with you? Co-sleeping is a great way to reconnect and get some sleep. Don’t compare him with what other kids his age are doing. He has a special set of circumstances, and only time and patience will heal. Crazily, having a baby that sleeps well seems to be the badge of good mothering. Why? Those babies are easy to parent. Ones like yours take all your skills and reserves, and then some. Try not to do it along, find your support team wherever you can (even here on Belly Belly) And be gentle with yourself
Thanks Barb. We do co sleep and he sleeps with my mum about once a week to let me have a solid nights sleep. I have a number of carriers including a sling, a woven wrap and a manduca which I use to get house work done but he won't sleep in them.
I'm currently sitting next to him on my bed as he drifts off to sleep as this seems to be the only calm reliable method to settle him. I transfer him to his cot for a few hours then he'll be back with me.
My support networks have been brilliant, bringing round meals and doing shopping for me, I feel very blessed. I just worry that I have almost over used some networks as it has been a very long hard 18 months for me and my little family.
mainly, people feel honoured that you trusted them enough to call on them in a time of need - and would be hurt if they knew you’d been struggling and you didn’t ask. This is still part of him healing. When he is better he will sleep. Don’t worry that you are setting up bad habits or anything. Sleeping with you is very normal and even desirable when he’s had such a tough time. And if you all get some sleep - fabulous. You are doing great
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Sleep issues - help!
Perhaps what you need now is more help yourself to catch a break - is that an option for you?
makes it really hard.
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