When to buy her first bra???

**nothing2lose** · January 6th, 2013, 07:10 AM

DD is almost 11 and is starting to develop breasts. She is a little way off needing a bra, but, to be honest, I am not really sure when she should get her first one.

Is there a specific size or stage in development that I should be guided by? Or should I just wait until it "looks" like she needs one????

TIA

**Rouge** · January 6th, 2013, 07:13 AM

Generally it's when they start to be noticeable through shirts. DD wears those tankini things to cover up. But I daresay she'll need a training bra within the next few months. Nothing more embarrassing than having those cones happening and no bra.

**ladybirdflies** · January 6th, 2013, 07:23 AM

My daughter is 11, she has been wearing those tankini tops underneath clothes for a few months. They have a built in crop which gives the fabric a few layers. She has some cotton crop tops as well, but she is not ready for them (her words). She doesn't like that you can see the crop top, she likes the tankini as it goes all the way down not drawing attention to it. Big W have a great section in the bonds wear with all sorts of options I would take her there and talk about it together. I didn't want to bring too much awareness to it all before she was ready, so I just said things like, let's just buy them and put them in the cupboard for when you are 'ready' it was great for opening up the conversation, as she was not even aware that I could see through her shirts or dresses so I didn't want to make her too self conscious.

**BellyBelly** · January 6th, 2013, 07:24 AM

Yup my daughter is at the same age (11 in April) and I have been buying her bonds sets of undies and crop top type of things (has straps over top rather than just fabric). They come in white and mixed cool colours. She has taken to wearing them a great deal which is great, but wont be long for her needing something more I am sure. This last year she's really developed. I think I was in year 5-6 when I got my first training bra. She's in year 5 this year.

***Efjay*** · January 6th, 2013, 08:25 AM

My mum bought me training bras for Christmas when I was about 12 or 13. I was horrified when I opened them in front of everyone.

So don't do that lol

**BellyBelly** · January 6th, 2013, 08:27 AM

Oh dear!!! You poor thing!!!! I'd never do that! I leave the clothes I buy her on her bed.

***Efjay*** · January 6th, 2013, 08:30 AM

I hated that my personal development seemed to be a conversation point with grown ups. One of the first thing I said to mum when I got my period was don't tell grandma!

**myturn** · January 6th, 2013, 08:31 AM

I bought DSD crop tops a few months ago because I noticed she was startif to develop and I didn't want it to become a big deal. She wears them most of the time at our place now. I didn't want bras to become a big deal. My mum waited until I was 13 and needed them and I hated going to the shop to buy my first bra. It was so embarrassing. I wanted dsd to get used to the idea slowly. Plus under some of her tops she show more than others and the extra layer really helps to smooth things over. At her age she will probably think its pretty cool and that's a nice moment to share. The you can just change the tops. Look more bra like and change to a bra certaimwhen it's needed without it becoming a big deal.

I know it's my issue and worry which has made me behave that way. But hopefully she feels okay about herself and her body. I know she hasnt asked her mother to buy her any yet, although we have suggested it. Her mother obviously hasn't noticed or suggested it. Certain materials they make some clothes with these days really seem to cling and make it more noticeable.

**Trillian** · January 6th, 2013, 08:33 AM

My 10yo DD has been wearing the bonds crop tops for a while. She doesn't need an actual bra at this point, but just something to give her a bit of cover and stop the chaffing from her shirts. They are pretty sensitive and get sore. She was just wearing singlets, some with a shelf thing and others didn't but it just got too hot towards the end of the last year for her to wear them

**Tinks** · January 6th, 2013, 08:42 AM

My DD was just shy of 12 when I took her in for a bra fitting. Before that she wore crop tops. You will know when she's ready to move on from a crop top to a bra.

**BellyBelly** · January 6th, 2013, 08:56 AM

Can totally understand that Efjay. I bet that would have been embarassing

I try not to talk about her in front of others at all anyway, because she is particularly upset by anything that puts her in the spotlight - she was diagnosed with Selective Mutism at around 3, which is a social phobia, so it really makes her anxious. Shes grown out of most of it now as they do about this age, but I can see she's still very sensitive with it.

**nothing2lose** · January 6th, 2013, 08:57 AM

Thanks everyone. I bought her some crop tops last year to stop chafing. I may suggest (gently) that she might like to wear them more often.

At the moment her nipples (inc areola) are more prominent than actual breast tissue. It is noticeable when wearing a t-shirt. I guess a training bra may be on the cards before year's end.

I can remember being mortified being taken to Myer to be fitted for my first bra. It was an issue for family discussion too

I can remember someone saying "they are not pimples on a pumpkin anymore"

I will definitely be more discreet and sensitive.

My baby is growing up

**BellyBelly** · January 6th, 2013, 09:02 AM

All I remember *I think* was relatives being told I was all grown up now and had a bra. Maybe they were proud of me but damn I was so embarrassed! Shame it doesnt stay something private with younger girls these days!!!

***Efjay*** · January 6th, 2013, 09:05 AM

I remember sitting around a family friends table and the women mum was talking to was saying she could tell by my eyes ( iridology) that I would get my period soon. I was ten! I didn't get them till I was 14!

One would think that our mothers would have also experienced the same embarrassing times and would have known not to do it to us!

**nothing2lose** · January 6th, 2013, 09:12 AM

I am very well endowed and I started really developing in grade 5 when I was 10. I was so self conscious about my boobs for years. I wouldn't take my baggy windcheater off no matter how stinking hot it was because I thought it hid my bumps. I was sweating like a pig but at least my boobs didn't show as much

It wasn't until the end of year 8 that I would go jumper-less.

Now I just let 'em flop out all over the place

**BellyBelly** · January 6th, 2013, 09:13 AM

*cringe* *cringe* *cringe*!!! (Efjay!)

**~me~** · January 6th, 2013, 09:45 AM

It's different these days, rolls have changed. I had to buy my own training bra and everything personal growing up with money I had earned. My Mum never talked about or discussed at all.

Fast forward to now, my brother is the SAHD while his wife works shifts. He takes his daughters to get pads, tampons and took her to get her first training bras just the other week. She has just turned 12.

The younger of his girls wear the crop tops while his older have just started on the training bras, it could be a good bonding experience for you to make a day of it. Go out, get fitted for a training bra, lunch, movies and maybe even get your nails done together. The more you make it a normal part of growing up the easier it may be (hopefully) for your DD not too mortified by it all