Recharging yourself

**Frangipani Lou** · January 10th, 2013, 01:29 PM

I'm finding that I really need time away from home to recharge each week. I didn't get much time last week (MIL stayed for the 1st time) so this week I'm feeling drained, narky irritable, really tired and not very happy. DP is very supportive about me taking breaks- he sees how much it helps me.
If I don't get a break soon, I'll become critical and defensive.
DD is now 12 weeks old and I know I'm a better mother and partner when I get a break.
Does anyone else feel the same in needing a break? How do you organise one? What do you like to do to recharge yourself? Do you feel supported?

**BellyBelly** · January 10th, 2013, 01:55 PM

Have you seen the BB article Chucking a Mummy Sickie?

**MrsFabuloso** · January 10th, 2013, 02:11 PM

Yep. I need a regular break. With school holidays, living in a small town with not much to do and not being close to family support , one kid with a broken arm, and above 38degree temps since christmas, Im getting nothing and Im getting to breaking point. Teary, cranky and a short temper. Im trying hard not to be like it but I need a break!!

**Frangipani Lou** · January 26th, 2013, 07:11 AM

Bump ..

**xXHopeXx** · January 26th, 2013, 07:36 AM

I'm finding that I really need time away from home to recharge each week. I didn't get much time last week (MIL stayed for the 1st time) so this week I'm feeling drained, narky irritable, really tired and not very happy. DP is very supportive about me taking breaks- he sees how much it helps me.
If I don't get a break soon, I'll become critical and defensive.
DD is now 12 weeks old and I know I'm a better mother and partner when I get a break.
Does anyone else feel the same in needing a break? How do you organise one? What do you like to do to recharge yourself? Do you feel supported?

Yep I definitely need time away from everything. (Or even if they take time away from me

) I usually ask hubby to take dd for the day, or a few hours, etc. So I can chill at home. Personally, its not so much having time away from the house, as time ALONE so I can have my thoughts etc to myself. Generally ill clean the house, so I can enjoy a clean house, then relax and have a bath, or perhaps go to the shops and just look around, or whatever tickles my fancy. I just want time to myself to do what *I* want no interruptions.

Hubby definitely supports it as well, he knows he needs time to recharge as being an ambo can take its toll, and knows being at home all the time does the same thing.

Is there anything in particular you like to do? Or would like to do?

**Astrid** · January 26th, 2013, 07:48 AM

I take Fridays to myself. I don't need to work (but it is a spare day if I do need to) and the girls are in school or kinder.

Even if I am running around doing family stuff, or cleaning. I just find myself feeling so much better just for being able to do it by myself. Some days I do just go "stuff it" I am doing nothing, or catch up with friends.

Finding myself getting very edgy and cranky with the school holidays as I have lost my Fridays! Bring on next week.

**Sopdet** · January 26th, 2013, 08:28 AM

Everybody needs time off to recharge. I go spare if I don't have my down-time. I've been missing out on my exercise lately and I know I've been feeling the impact in other areas of my life, for one the house is a mess.

You need time off, even if you can escape for 15 mins in a bath, with the door closed, candles and some nice smelling stuff in there, just lay back and contemplate your navel. Have your partner kid-wrangle so you don't have little fingers sticking under the door looking for you.

**AnyDream** · January 26th, 2013, 08:46 AM

Yes! I have a very high need for me-time, and the busier life gets, the more I need it. Ive found that having the kids in childcare for at least a morning or afternoon each week is really valuable for this. I've also joined a couple of groups that relate to a hobby of mine, they have regular events which are a good excuse for me to prioritise going out over whatever mundane thing is happening at home. The trick is to actively choose to spend that time doing something that refreshes you and not just stay in the rut if doing whatever you would if the rest if the family was there.

**chody47** · January 26th, 2013, 09:50 AM

I definitely agree with needing 'me' time. It'll be hard for a while with a toddler and newborn in hosp, but I'll still try to get a bit of time. I didn't get enough when DD was a newborn and I think it took its toll.

**fionas** · January 26th, 2013, 10:07 AM

It took me an awfully long time to realize that I need me time. DP works shifts and on alternate weeks isn't here for the dinner, bath, bed routine. He often needs to sleep during the day and also often works weekends. I have no family nearby so the only way I can get a break is childcare which for me is worth it's weight in gold. Unfortunately on those days DP might be home/need to sleep so I can't just do what I want and that's very frustrating.

**AnyDream** · January 26th, 2013, 10:41 AM

Fiona, I hear you. DH sometimes gets an early mark and when it coincides with my day off it gives me the irrits. It's never early enough for us to do anything nice together & he just hangs around, distracting me. But I can't complain because on the whole he is very supportive.

**Astrid** · January 26th, 2013, 10:54 AM

I can get the same when DH's RDO coincides with my Friday. Sometimes it can be nice to get some alone couple time, but other times I just want to get on with my day.

**emmjayt** · January 26th, 2013, 11:01 AM

I desperately need that me time. If I don't get at least a couple of hours every week I get really snappy and irritable. DH is great at giving me that time, but I really need him to take DD out sometimes rather than me always going out. Cheeky miss always seems to fall asleep right as me time starts though

**Frangipani Lou** · January 26th, 2013, 12:32 PM

I'm glad I bumped this thread today :-) its good to hear that my need for me time is the same as so many others.

My mum never took time for herself.. i guess thats something to learn from. Im having Friday evenings off and having a great time. I've been to the movies, out to dinner with friends and to a grease singalong!
I'm a much better mummy for it and I am asking for a midweek break where DP feeds DD her supper bottle and I relax or go to bed early. I'm really blessed, DP is a hands on Dad :-)
I hope I will be a better role model of self care than my mother.

**Cassius2** · January 26th, 2013, 01:52 PM

I desperately need 'me' time every now and then.

Unfortunately it just doesnt happen, but yeah, have found that i can go really spare at times as a result!

I dream of a couple of hours to do, well, whatever i please

Sooo want to see "django" at the movies but arghhh!! cannot do it! wahhh! (yep, pity party as i sit in the house alone (with the kids of course), on yet another weekend where it appears that everyone else is doing fun Oz Day stuff...i mopped the floors and changed about 5 nappies hahahaha)

**HotI** · January 27th, 2013, 08:59 AM

I am in real need for me time atm. Last week, i had my first afternoon away from the kids (since ds was born) doing me stuff and it was fricking awesome. i got to do my fire brigade vol wrok without having to juggle kids.

unfortunately, i haven't had much opportunity for me time, as my potential kid carers (apart from DH) are not well. DD is going to kinder this year, which will allow me some DS+me time, and he is slightly less full on than DD, so hoping that will recharge me.

**PumpkinZulu** · January 27th, 2013, 09:09 AM

I don't really get me time. I've spent over two years being either pregnant or breastfeeding consistently, I do think it takes it's toll. I'd love a night to myself once in a while, or to get out sans kids. Once DD2 is older, I'll definitely be making sure I get some time for myself, I wish I'd made that decision sooner.

**Mak** · January 27th, 2013, 09:43 AM

I know that recharge time is vital for my mental health, let alone trying to be the mum/partner/friend/worker etc I want to be! So hard when the kids are little if you do not have readily accessed help tho - this year is a massive difference for us as DD2 in 4yo kinder and DD1 at school. I am trying to make the most of me time if I can steal it. For me that is picking up a book and reading on occasion and trying to nick out for a walk when possible. It may even be a trip to the supermarket alone at 10pm!!!! Now off to go for a walk...... xx