To cut a long story short, DS sleeps better with us and so for a better nights sleep for all I am seriously considering cosleeping.
Our current arrangement is cot against the wall, bedside table, queen bed then another bedside table. Should I rearrange, if so to what configuration?
It's getting cold at night, but heavy doonas are a suffocation risk, how do you all keep warm and cosy? And do you cut down on pillows?
Would I continue putting DS in his cot for day naps? Or on our bed?
DS is 6 months old, we will probably TTC #2 when he is 1, so I'm thinking long term here, if we cosleep with a newbie DS will be around 2, the nursery is right next to our room, is it unreasonable expectations to move a cosleeping toddler into his own room to make way for a sibling? Or do you just cosleep with all children?
We cosleep with ours - dd3 has been in with us since she was 2 months old. We have a bed for her in her own room and she starts the night in there but wakes up around the time we go to bed so she sleeps in bed next to me. However before we got her bed, she just took her naps in our bed.
I have had one of the other kids in a side car type thing with the cot, but that was broken when dd2 was 10 months old so put an end to that but it worked well.
At the moment we have dd2 and dd3 joining us in bed at night and ds and dd1 sleep on the floor near our bed on cot mattresses.
We sleep in a family room. I have my older two children in a double bed and DS2 is in his single bed right next to ours. He usually ends up in our bed, and occasionally one of the older kids do too, though that's getting less and less often.
I started a thread a little while ago about co sleeping/family bedroom here if you're interested.
We have used doonas too. I usually just dress the kids warmly when they're that little, and they sleep on top of the doona, at the head of the bed without a pillow.
We bedshare with DD3 - maybe three or four nights a week now but until recently it was every night. She sleeps between DH and I. We use a duck down doona (so warm, but light weight) and I pull my pillow right over so there's only half of it actually on the bed so its not a risk to her. She sleeps quite high up on the mattress and is on top of the doona most of the time, but sometimes will be under it with it pulled up to about waist height on her if its very cold. I slide right down and lie a bit sideways so I'm half encircling her which (A) stops DH going near her and (B) keeps the doona down.
I basically don't move when she's in bed with us, and she always snuggles into me so I'm always aware of where she is. For day sleeps she is in her cot in her own room.
Sometimes DD2 will sleep on a mattress on the floor next to my side of the bed, so I would think that could be an option for you when #2 comes along.
Cool. I just thought, if I sidecar the cot with the rail off, what on earth do I do for day sleeps?
Lulu that's reassuring and what we have been doing too. Thankfully DH is a light, still sleeper and is very aware of DS's presence. I was a bit freaked cause of all the "you're all gonna die!!!!" hoohaa surrounding cosleeping.
We started co-sleeping for the same reason as you, DS sleeps better with us. And my DH loves cuddling him to sleep at night.
DS 2 years sleeps with us, he sleeps between us sometimes under blanket which he then kicks off anyway. He slept in bassinet beside my side of the bed until about 8 months, he was prem so very tiny, and when he woke id move him next to me and throw the blanket off of us to avoid chance of suffocation. when I was sure he could make a fuss if heavy sleeper DH rolled on him I let him start sleeping between us as I was worried he would roll out of bed since he was getting bigger.
I'm at the point now that we aren't sure what to do as I am preg with #2, and we wouldn't mind continuing co-sleeping but worried how DS will handle newborn with us in bed. We are planning on upgrading to king size bed so that should help the lack of space. And I suppose #2 will start off in bassinet anyway. We plan to buy DS a 'special' bed before new bub gets here and offer it to him in case he would prefer his own bed but won't force him.
To keep warm in the cold we basically use the heater or dress warm because chances are DS will kick off blanket anyway. Most nights he ends up on top of the blanket upside down.
For day sleeps I put him in whichever room will be the coolest which is usually his, but other times if we have naps together I have him in our bed surrounded by pillows.
If you are not sure about co-sleeping google the benefits for bub helped me ease my mind when people who know nothing about co-sleeping pop out with ridiculous assumptions like 'the baby will be too clingy if you let them in your bed' etc
Oh, I am fully aware of the benefits its the logistics I'm trying to get my head around lol
So the whole suffocation risk thing, DS is totally mobile - he's 6 months, being crawling for a month already and is starting to climb up things to stand and he's just figuring out sitting. So developmentally I guess I can relax, as in if we squished him or he couldn't breathe, he'd wake up and/or cry?
You are at a tricky age in terms of movement and leaving bub for day sleeps. Possibly mobile enough to get off the bed but not quite old enough to teach how to do it safely.
We had the cot with 4 sides on right up against the bed for awhile. I could leave ds in for day sleeps cos he couldn't get out, and the cot provided an edge so he couldn't fall off the bed that side but I couldn't just slide him across into the cot to sleep and he couldn't just crawl across himself.
We have also just used a baby monitor and left bub on bed and listen for first sound. Also left bub on mattress on floor for day sleeps.
DS started off in the cot around 8pm, we went to bed at 10pm then he woke up. I fed him back to sleep and then the cot-rejection began. So I brought him onto our bed, on top of the doona and up against me with my arm around him. He promptly fell asleep and as I began to doze I had a panic attack that I would wake up in the morning and he would be stuck under the doona, not breathing so I tried to gently put him in the cot and he woke up and screamed solidly till 1.30am. Then I fed him, he slept in the cot for a couple hours, screamed again, eventually I settled him back to sleep in the cot where he stayed till DH got up for work around 7.30
Anyway, in between his screaming DH and I had a fight he was yelling at me that I'm obviously doing it wrong and to just leave him on our bed where he was happy. I wanted to but I just couldn't get past my fear of somehow suffocating him. I thought a few sleepless nights are better than a dead baby. DH said he's not comfortable with DS crying that much (and nor am I, but tears - dead baby, hmm yeah I'll deal with the crying).
I realise I'm being irrational, millions of people have slept with their babies for thousands of years. And since he was born he's come into our bed at around 5.30 and slept with us for a few hours, so why is it this any different?
I really don't know where to go from here. DH clearly wants to cosleep, and I do too but I can't seem to get past this fear
My DP and I have separate blankets, that way we can keep them away from DD2 easier by tucking them around ourselves independently (hard to explain, hope that makes sense) which might be an option? We also have the cot pushed up against our bed with that joining one side off for extra space and DD2 begins the night in there.
DD2 has day sleeps in her older sister's bed (toddler bed) usually as we keep our bedroom closed up during the day so that everywhere accessible is 'kid friendly' for when I need to pee lol so can't help much in that regard.
I was scared that I would roll on them, especially when dd3 was 2 months and I was over 100kg!
I slept on my side with my arm out and put her head on my arm. I also wrapped my other arm around her and put my knee up so I would be less likely to roll over. I never did and I turned into a pretty light sleeper anyway.
You're not being irrational at all. It took me quite a few weeks to get used to DD3 being next to me and to actually sleep while remaining dead still myself - bit like learning to sleep with your DH really, only their snoring is cuter ;-)
I didn't have nightmares about suffocating her, but when she started having a few nights in her cot I would wake up in a panic and start throwing the doona off the bed searching for her, forgetting that I'd put her down in her own bed.
If you're worried, could you maybe try putting a pillow between you and bub around waist height for you so that you'd have to roll over it before you got to the baby? Alternatively, could your DH sleep somewhere else for a few nights so you can have your side of the bed to yourself, bub has your DH's side (with pillows/mattresses on the floor in case he crawls his way out without you waking - but that's enormously unlikely!). Might help you to get used to the idea of having bubs in bed with you without space being an issue. I sleep sooooooo much better when my DH goes and sleeps with one of the other girls and I get the bed just to myself and DD3.
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so I tried to gently put him in the cot and he woke up and screamed solidly till 1.30am. Then I fed him, he slept in the cot for a couple hours, screamed again, eventually I settled him back to sleep in the cot where he stayed till DH got up for work around 7.30
he was yelling at me that I'm obviously doing it wrong and to just leave him on our bed where he was happy. I wanted to but I just couldn't get past my fear of somehow suffocating him. I thought a few sleepless nights are better than a dead baby. DH said he's not comfortable with DS crying that much (and nor am I, but tears - dead baby, hmm yeah I'll deal with the crying).
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