Help - Sending your kids to a Religious School when you are not Religious

[MummyNaomi]

DS starts school next year, we are extremely happy with the school we have chosen for him and he has been offered a place and DD will also go to the same school when her time comes. We've chosen a lovely private school as were unhappy with the public schools around us, but as with most private schools, DSs school is Catholic and we are very happy for DS to have a religious education (obviously)

However, we really aren't religious. I was brought up with no exposure to religion whatsoever, and DH was christened but that's about it (no church attendance or anything like that), our kids haven't been christened or baptised.

We plan to absolutely support the schools beliefs and interact with the school community as want the kids to feel we are involved. But wondering if we should 'prepare' DS in some way. Sorry if this sounds stupid. I was thinking of buying a childrens bible to read together so DS has exposure to who God is and the story of the bible etc. I want the kids to make up their own mind about their religious beliefs and we will support and encourage them. I also want DS to feel comfortable when they have mass and prayer as he's never been exposed to it before (something I feel uncomfortable with basically as I've never really been involved myself).

I'm sure there are many other parents like me with their kids in private schools, not necessarily because of the religion, but because of the schools reputation etc - How did the transition go etc and if you have any tips or anything I'd appreciate it

[bubno.3]

Hi why dont you ask the principle at the school for advice as to how to introduce your child/ren to Catholic church

[Khaleesi]

We are currently going through this now & I'll come back tomorrow to reply

[Doing my best]

My DD started at a christian school this year. And they incorporate bible stories into the teaching, rather than the actual bible.. Maybe they would be a better option than the bible at such a young age.

DH and I aren't active church goers, and had never really discussed religion with her, but she has adapted well.

[MummyNaomi]

Awesome Cheshire. Thanks

DMB - I've seen some children's bibles that are basically a picture book with a pretty basic storyline - aimed at pre-schoolers. That's what I had in mind

[Chocaholic]

DS knew nothing about the Catholic religion prior to starting at school. He was baptised but I am a non-believer and DH is not active in the church.

DS has had no problems adapting as the teachers are used to having children from a variety of backgrounds. They incorporate the faith into lessons etc and lead the children through.

I made it clear at the interview and my discussions with the teachers that I will encourage my children to research other alternatives but will support their teaching. They are happy with that.

DS has a child from the Muslim faith in his class and her parents have spoken during religious instruction about their faith. The class loved it.

[wysiwyg]

I would think to a certain extent everything will be so new to your DS the religious bit will just be another new thing accepted and he won't realise any different. We were brought up as Catholics and went to Catholic school but didn't pray at home or go to church till I was at school. Unless the school suggests anything in particular I would just leave it and wait for any questions etc.

[LuluHB]

This was our situation too. DD1 is in her third year at the school and DD2 in her second. They had absolutely no exposure to religion whatsoever before attending the school but neither has had a problem adjusting. TBH the only one with the problem is me. I was perhaps naïve at just the amount of religion that would be in their day to day activities, the focus of assemblies etc - particularly given that the school takes people of all or no religious denominations - and I am struggling a little with the extent of it. I am doing my best to support the teachings of the school, as we are obligated to do given the contract we entered into with the school, while still giving my kids the balanced outlook I think is appropriate.

Oh, and the school library is full of age appropriate children's bibles, as well as little books with individual bible stories which they frequently bring home so I wouldn't worry about buying one yourself unless your DS asks for one down the track.

[LuluHB]

This was our situation too. DD1 is in her third year at the school and DD2 in her second. They had absolutely no exposure to religion whatsoever before attending the school but neither has had a problem adjusting. TBH the only one with the problem is me. I was perhaps naïve at just the amount of religion that would be in their day to day activities, the focus of assemblies etc - particularly given that the school takes people of any or no religious denominations - and I am struggling a little with the extent of it. I am doing my best to support the teachings of the school, as we are obligated to do given the contract we entered into with the school, while still giving my kids the balanced outlook I think is appropriate.

Oh, and the school library is full of age appropriate children's bibles, as well as little books with individual bible stories which they frequently bring home so I wouldn't worry about buying one yourself unless your DS asks for one down the track.

[Khaleesi]

DD1 started at a Catholic school this year, we aren't religious & Maddi had never been exposed to religion before.
She settled in fine, they have a special prayer they say each morning they have mass once a week & on religious holidays they do spend more time learning about that particular holiday but otherwise they don't focus on it a whole lot.
Occasionally we will be having dinner & Maddi will suddenly burst out with a new religious song she learnt but i hear more about the "Ants on an Apple song".

With Mass she hated it at first as you sit down, stand up, sit down etc... but it doesn't bother her anymore & she loves the school prayers she will recite them to anyone who will listen lol

[HotI]

You might find it handy for you to research a few things, so you know what they are when your DS comes home and talks about them.

I went to a catholic high school, and before I started mum taught me
the sign of the cross

Our Father (a prayer)
(Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.)

The Hail Mary (a prayer)
(Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.)

I think I got through 6 years of catholic education just with those 3 and watching everyone what everyone else did.

Kids might also be doing their first holy communion, and their confirmation (grade 6 ish).

Some bible stories can be really strange if you haven't heard them before, even more if you are getting them interpreted by a 5 year old, but there is always google if you can't work it out.

[Freya]

We are a little religious (I am catholic and our kids attend catholic school) but we never taught them much about it all.

My Ds1 is grade 1 and Ds2 is prep this year and I assure you, they learn it all quite quickly just through attending school! They both know the Lords prayer and Hail Mary, the sign of the cross, the school prayer, saints etc. They can name all the apostles and tell you a kid-version of just about every bible story, can sing all the religious songs. We do have a childrens bible that Ds1's godmother gifted him at his baptism and we pull it out if they have any extra questions about a particular bible story, esp because Dh and I are rusty on our bible knowledge lol

Cheshire - aaaaaah the joys of cued articulation. If I have to listen to the song one more time I might scream lol

[MummyNaomi]

Awesome girls - thanks! Very helpful indeed. Seems like I don't need to worry so much. DSs principal was lovely and welcoming and told us DS will learn all this stuff anyway. Good to hear some real life experiences though. DS loves to be included and loves rituals and music so I have a sneaking suspicion that mass will be right up his alley

HotI - cheers for the heads up re the prayers, that's the stuff I need, when we attend mass with DS a few times a year I won't feel like a total goose!

[Mrs O'M]

Most schools will have a dedicated teacher who is the religious educator, or at least helps the other teachers to design the religion lessons. (My mum does this at her catholic primary school) she gets approached by some parents who are not religious but want to support the kids and she has mini information books on the prayers, sacraments and mass rituals.

The only thing to perhaps think about is if your DS will participate when the other kids go through the sacraments. I think reconciliation is year 2, communion year 3 and confirmation year 5. He would be involved in all the pre learning anyway, but I think it's up to you if he participates in the actual events ( he would need to first be baptised to do any of them)

[LuluHB]

HotI - the Lord's prayer has changed. Not sure how that has happened, but there you go.

Its now something like Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name etc . . . Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. Deliver us from the evil one . . . Amen, Praise the Lord.

There's DH at the first assembly trying to shut me up because for whatever reason being delivered from "the Evil One" tickled my funny bone

[HotI]

HotI - the Lord's prayer has changed. Not sure how that has happened, but there you go.

Wow, I didn't know that. I just copied it from catholic.com (or similar).

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

HotI - the Lord's prayer has changed. Not sure how that has happened, but there you go.

Its now something like Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name etc . . . Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. Deliver us from the evil one . . . Amen, Praise the Lord.

I wonder if it depends on the school/parish? I know the 'newer' parishes are a bit more forward thinking etc all bar one parish i've been been to still use the 'proper/traditional' one with the only difference being that some now sing it rather than just recite it.

[LuluHB]

Maybe its a school by school thing? The girls' school is Christian, rather than Catholic so maybe that's it? I must admit, I don't understand the changes. While sometimes things need to be modernised, I don't think the language used at my girls' school improves it, simplifies it for the kids or brings any benefits. It just confuses us old people who still remember the Lord's Prayer from their own days at primary school ;-)