Who travels around 1hr to/from work daily? Or has?

[toomanyshoes]

How do you find it impacts on family life?

A second job offer has come through for DH, we're currently about 5-6 hours inland from Brisbane and this job is about half way between.

I really have zero interest moving to this town, it's bigger by 2,000-3,000 people and has a few more shops but really has nothing more.

So I'm thinking living in toowoomba might be an option and DH driving an hour each way for work 5 days a week.

Is it doable? What were the positives and negatives for you? Did it have an impact on family life?

[Beach Mama]

My DH used to but he is a chippy so he left just after 6 and was home by 5 most nights, the impact was that he did a very physically demanding job then had to drive through horrid traffic for an hour and sometimes more to get home so was pretty tired by the time he got home. Other than that though (keeping in mind I wasn't the one driving!) the impact was minimal but I might feel differently if he was getting home after 6 or 7.

[toomanyshoes]

DH's job isn't physically demanding, it would also be high way driving which at those hours shouldn't be very busy at all BUT it is a high incident hwy which has me slightly concerned!

[CoNNiE_Melb]

I agree with the above comment... If he has the flexibility to go in early and come home it's a whole lot better for the family at home. My DH leaves at 5:30am and usually gets home by 5:30pm so he can spend some time with our son and have dinner with me at a reasonable hour.
Yes, he gets tired and is in bed by 9:30-10, but I don't mind that, because these days I'm tired too.

[Amity]

I've done it (as a single parent) for 4 years. I used to drive to my Dad's (25min) drop off the kids (5-10min) drive to the station (10min) and catch the train (16min) to work. Total of just over an hour - as long as the train was there, waiting. Otherwise it could be longer.

I just moved closer to the kids' school and now travel (walking 25 mins by choice, rather than drive 5) to the station and catch the train (16mins) to work. Life is SO much better. I can get to work in just over 20 mins if I have to. Amazing.

[Amaunet]

My DH commutes to the city from Gosford every day. It's about 1 3/4 hours door to door each way. It's ok in the mornings - although he doesn't help get the boys ready. It can be hard at night- some nights(2-3 times per week) it's 7.45pm by the time he gets home but usually it's 7pm. I have to do the dinner/bath arsenic hour by myself and sometimes he doesn't get to see the boys at all before they go to bed.

But for us it's our normal, he has always commuted and we just make do!

[Cass72]

I have done it both as a train commuter and car commuter. I found the train commute easier, although it was longer. The drive was draining after a while. We are now living closer to work and DH and I both value the little things a whole lot more. Eating dinner together as a family at a reasonable hour. Not having to drop DS2 off to childcare so early. Having more time to play/chat/read/just be with DS2 after dinner - that timeslot between dinner and bed has increased considerably.

I agree that it's okay in the mornings but it's the nights that are sucky. We are in Canberra too, so our winter days are short (and cold).

[nothing2lose]

Yeah, I have for the past 8-9 years. It's currently about an hour in the mornings, 15-30 minutes longer at night. Previously it was 1 1/2 hours each way. I really don't like it (particularly driving) but it's inevitable for me unless I move inner city.

I don't like getting home at 6.30-7pm, especially in Winter. I think it does impact family life, but now I work three days it's not so bad.

[Em_325]

Me and DH both do it but in opposite directions to each other! I commute on the train into the city so it isnt too bad and he drives as there is no public transport out where he works. I leave home at 5.40am and that gets me to work at 7.00am. We dont have kids yet so I cant comment on that part but we find it doable. The only thing that gets to me is having to get up so early as I am really not a morning person. To be honest given the choice I wouldnt live so far away from work but it came down to a compromise with DH which means us living where we do and commuting to work .

[AnyDream]

I do. Yes it impacts on family life (and added quite a bit to our child care expenses). I try to offset it a bit by working a shorter day, with resulting loss of income. On the other hand, our mortgage costs are lower here than if we lived closer, but I've never really worked out if it balances out financially.

What makes a huge difference is the quality of the commute. I start work later & leave later (this could just as easily be earlier) to avoid the peak hour congestion & long public transport queues. I use bus time to read, surf bb, make lists, listen to podcasts & audiobooks. I did have a job where it was a driving commute & where I didn't have any control over start/finish times, and the peak hour traffic nearly killed me. I turned into a crazy woman, so that job wasn't sustainable in the long term. So it's not the length of the commute that matters, it's whether it's stressful/tiring.

ETA
It's worth finding out whether that job provides any flexibility. I know people who have worked 4 long days to score an extra day at home, or who've negotiated to work 1 or 2 days from home. Telework is the new buzzword.

[HotI]

I did before kids. The quality of commute makes a huge difference, on days when I got an early train, got a seat, no schoolkids, I was able to read, study, sleep or whatever. If I was driving an hour in peak traffic it would do my head in. If I was driving an hour north (away from city), it would be time to clear my head before getting home/to work.

[surprised]

Have done it for many years in the past. It sucked. That's 10 hours a week you could be doing something else. I wouldn't do it if I had the choice.

[*Efjay*]

My DH use to travel a bit over an hour (75km) to work & home again. I hated it now that I look back. He was gone usually before the kids got up & home as dinner was put out. I was left to do all the parenting/house duties during the week & then on the weekends he just wanted to stay home. Now he travels about 10 min to work. He his here to help get the kids ready for school & even drops 2 of them off & home just before 5.30. Much happier.

[Cassius2]

TBH i think the toowoomba to brissy commute these days is a bit too much. there is so much infrastructure problems since they started building urban sprawl like crazy around ipswich that the once easy commute can take over 2 hours. also the range that you have to drive down lately has been having a lot of problems with slides etc. I am sure that once alot of upgrading has been finished it will be better, but i do feel that as a 5 day a week commute it is a bit much...i also find that stretch of the highway between ipswich and Darra to be quite perilous with big trucks and lots of tired commuters.

[toomanyshoes]

TBH i think the toowoomba to brissy commute these days is a bit too much. there is so much infrastructure problems since they started building urban sprawl like crazy around ipswich that the once easy commute can take over 2 hours. also the range that you have to drive down lately has been having a lot of problems with slides etc. I am sure that once alot of upgrading has been finished it will be better, but i do feel that as a 5 day a week commute it is a bit much...i also find that stretch of the highway between ipswich and Darra to be quite perilous with big trucks and lots of tired commuters.

He wouldn't be doing toowoomba/brissy, going in the other direction! Toowoomba in land

It's not ideal, and DH has always hated commuting but there is no point moving to another small town, defeats his reasons for moving away from here. Guess we'll just to wit and see what happens over the next few weeks, the job in Brisbane has stalled after them being very keen so we're a little weary about that one, waiting to see what these other jobs are offering considering they are making a position for DH!

The before and after school stuff wouldn't really change DH isn't home for that now and I'm always coming and going with gynastics, football, soccer, girl guides etc!

Thanks for the input everyone, as usual there is a lot to think about!

[toomanyshoes]

TBH i think the toowoomba to brissy commute these days is a bit too much. there is so much infrastructure problems since they started building urban sprawl like crazy around ipswich that the once easy commute can take over 2 hours. also the range that you have to drive down lately has been having a lot of problems with slides etc. I am sure that once alot of upgrading has been finished it will be better, but i do feel that as a 5 day a week commute it is a bit much...i also find that stretch of the highway between ipswich and Darra to be quite perilous with big trucks and lots of tired commuters.

He wouldn't be doing toowoomba/brissy, going in the other direction! Toowoomba in land

It's not ideal, and DH has always hated commuting but there is no point moving to another small town, defeats his reasons for moving away from here. Guess we'll just to wit and see what happens over the next few weeks, the job in Brisbane has stalled after them being very keen so we're a little weary about that one, waiting to see what these other jobs are offering considering they are making a position for DH!

The before and after school stuff wouldn't really change DH isn't home for that now and I'm always coming and going with gynastics, football, soccer, girl guides etc!

Thanks for the input everyone, as usual there is a lot to think about!

[Marley&Me]

Depends on the traffic. I used to travel an hour, sometimes more, on the freeway and it was like a carpark in the mornings at 6:30am. It totally sucked. Dh used to work on the other side of the city and would leave at 7am and get home anywhere from 7pm to 10pm depending on when the last job finished. He had a work ute, but it still didn't make up for the terrible outbound traffic on the way home.

[Chocaholic]

Instead of Toowoomba, what about Oakey? Small township about 40km inland from Toowoomba. A lot of people commute there from Toowoomba for the Army Base (including my DH a few years ago). You also miss the worst part of the Warrego Highway where a lot of the incidents occur.

Basing yourself there, you would cut done commuting time for your DH and still live in a relatively small town. Yes, the Army Base is there but I don't think it is too noisy as most of the big planes (like the C17 and the transporter) are based at Amberley.