Suggestions and ideas required for majorly sleep deprived Mummy - bi long - sorry!

[Now we're 3]

Hi everyone

Desperately looking for some idea and suggestions that can help one of my lovely girlfriends. She is 37 weeks pregnant with no 3 and her DD2 is just about to turn 1 (her DD1 is 3.5). She is having big issues withe DD2 and her sleeping (eating is also issue). DD2 is waking every night and often times taking hours to re-settle. There is no pattern to her waking it is different every night with the only consistency being that it happening basically every night. My GF is absolutly exhuasted and very frightened as to what life is going to be life when she will have a new born and a 1 year old who is still waking so much at night.

To add to the mix DD2 is having issues with her eating which is also causing concerns as she is barely gaining weight - she has put on approx 800g since her 6 month check which her GP is concerned about. She has really dropped down through the %s from when she was about 4 months old. She actually lost weight between 4-6 months when my GF had fallen pregant (and wasn't aware) and they think her milk supply was impacted by the pregnancy. DD2 had been exclusively BF until this point and refused to take a bottle. After a long battle she eventually at 7 months started taking a bottle and she had also been started on solids at that stage. Another hurdle appeared then as DD2 has allergies - very allergic to egg and also milk protein plus a number of other things so there are additional limitations/ challenges on what food she can be offered. She won't take anything from a spoon (other than one type of puree) and doesn't like lumps. My GF is offering her as much finger food as possible but she doesn't appear to eat that much the lack of weight gain probably supports this a bit.

One of the reasons she could be waking is due to being hungry. If she is offered a bottle she will take it but this then leads to even less eating the next day so it appears to be a real lose / lose situation. On the other hand may be unrelated!

She has trying settling, tried leaving DD2 to self settle and neither work. Last night it took her 2 hours to resettle her. I left she would just cry and cry and cry. With DD1 waking at 6.30 my GF is just not getting enough sleep and is exhausted. Her parents are coming over just before the new baby is due so she has moved the two girls into the same room so her parents will have their own room when they stay. The constant waking of DD2 is now waking DD1 which means she is tired irritable and trying the following day. This is just adding to the stress.

I am really concerned both for her now but also think that she could be a real canditate for PND after the baby is born. Other than her friends she has no family support as both her and her DH are from overseas.

I know lots of women on her have had experience with "poorer" sleepers. I know her DD2 is still only very young but it is the inconsistency of the sleep pattern that I think is most difficult. They could probably work out a "plan" if it was consistent.

Does anyone have any advice to give or is there just nothing that can be done because of how young her DD2 is?

Sorry this is sooo long but I wanted to give as much info as possible to try to get the best advice possible.

TIA

[Arimeh]

My DD1 would wake up during the night from that age and it continued until she was over 18 months old. I had DD2 when she was just under 16 months old, so I have experienced a newborn and a toddler both waking up multiple times. My DH used to take over with DD1 and lay next to her on the floor next to her bed, and just let her sit and play for up to 4 hours a night (her normal awake time was 1am-5am and she would not be settled during this time). I then had the responsibility of the newborn during the night on my own. It was rough to say the least.

We found after MONTHS of putting up with this, that if we gave DD1 a bottle of milk she would go back to sleep no worries. Absolutely kicked ourselves after figuring that out.

So thats my only suggestion. If she drinks that bottle in the night, give it to her. My DD3 was still feeding overnight at that stage, she was breastfed though, but still woke up multiple times a night for milk.

Sorry - thats all I've got LOL

[Arcadia]

At one both my kds were feeding (breastfeeding) at least two times a night so I would definitely be giving a bottle of goats milk or whatever formula they use.

As for eating more in the day, maybe limit the milk until after a solid meal and see if that helps. At this stage it sounds like sleep and calories are what the little girl needs so I would go with that.