thread: DD1 is ready but I am not.

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    DD1 is ready but I am not.

    DD1 can't wait to start school. She is a May baby so I can send her 2014 or 2015. She wants so badly to go next year. At her preschool they started her on the school readiness program and she loves and is doing great. I really don't think she will have any issues going next year.

    Me though, the more I think about it the more I want that one last year with her. I love what we do during the week. I want her to have some time with DS when he is a bit older and wanting to engage with his sisters. I want to keep our relaxed unrushed mornings too.

    I am so unsure. Miss A tells everyone she will go to school next year. She wears a uniform to preschool (not a real uniform but same dress everytime) so she is prepared. She even asked me when she can start taking her own lunch box to school.

    Is it selfish to keep her back one more year? Will she get upset? Am I allowed to consider my feelings and wants over hers?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Adelaide, SA
    3,962

    That's a really tough decision.

    For me, and this is only my opinion, I would take into consideration the wants of my child and whether I feel they are emotionally ready, and would take my feelings out of the equation. However I know that that is so much easier said than done.

    Big honey, it's so hard to watch them grow up!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Aug 2009
    Melbourne
    766

    DD1 is ready but I am not.

    I would be doing what's best for my child... You don't want to hurt their confidence or sense of independence to satisfy your needs/wants.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Melbourne
    3,737

    I agree with Connie, I had doubts about dd2 but after getting advice we have decided to send her as we think it would be a big set back to her confidence if she had to stay at kinder.

  5. #5
    Administrator
    Add Rouge on Facebook

    Jun 2003
    Ubiquity
    9,922

    I think it is a little selfish yes. If it were for social or academic reasons I'd understand but not because you enjoy the time you spend together.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2010
    2,793

    That's a tough one, but I'd be inclined to send her. You've still got 7 months until next school year starts, so it should give you a reasonable amount of time to prepare. If, for some reason, she changes her mind and you still feel this way then maybe you could keep her home after all...

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2013
    208

    My parents could have let me go to school a year earlier (I was born on what was back then the cut off date) but they didn't and I resented them for it for years. I was always the eldest in my class and sometimes year level and I hated it.
    If your daughter is so excited about going to school and is ready for it then probably best to let her go. I am sure she will still bond well with her younger brother and you guys can still do some of your weekly activities etc outside of school hours.

  8. #8
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Mar 2010
    1,200

    there is alot to consider and you know what is best for you and your family. As far as school goes, she could be a whole year younger then some children in the class. THis makes a huge difference especially around 9 when there are some big emotional changes. Personally I would send her when she is the eldest not the youngest. She may be 'ready' now, but schooling happens for 12 years and she may not be able to keep up as the years go by. I have seen this with my DD1 who is now 11, there is a BIG difference with the younger girls. And if it affects them socially they can start struggling in other areas too.


    I think something is probably niggling at you to keep her home, perhaps your instinct is, I would not call that your wants and needs. She will be ok with staying home another year once it happens. x

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Sep 2005
    In the middle of nowhere
    9,362

    I had a May baby whom I kept back. For us it was the opposite. I was ready for her to go and she just wasn't.

    If it's purely for your wants then no, I think her wants and needs especially in regards to something so important should come first. But, if there is something in you that thinks she won't be ready, then maybe that is worth investigating.

    FWIW at this time of the year I was ready to send DD1 the following year. It wasn't until I chatted in depth with her preschool teachers in the October that I really discovered that though very, very bright, she wasn't emotionally ready for school.

    The first six months were hard on her in that year, but it was the very best thing I've ever done for her.