Kids age for home choice?

[RainbowRiver]

Is there an age set down for when kids can choose where and which parent they want to live with? Or at least what is considered an acceptable age?

issues are creeping up with my older kids, xdh is a tool (and that's putting it nicely). We have 50/50 shared care now, but I don't believe it's working at all. He cannot be bothered to give then his time, appears to not care he rarely spends a decent amount of quality binding time with them.

i have a list a mile long with issues, all of which we are meant to be addressing tonight when we meet up. Like usual, I don't see any point as he will think everything's fine, will say he'll think about what I've said... And all will be forgotten.

trying to work out what's best for the kids, maybe upping care arrangements or a huge overhaul etc in living arrangements

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

My brother & I chose when we were about 13/14 - we wanted to try living with our dad.

My brother ended up staying there but after a year I moved home to stay at my normal school.

[BlackCat]

There is no set age as such as it is also based on maturity level.

[ladybirdflies]

12 is the age as far as the courts go. Have you been to relationships Australia to seek some advice? It is a mediation place. I found them very helpful as they stand there with a great vision for everyone. You can have your appointment on your own and decide if you want to seek mediation with them. 50/50 can be tough on kids maybe you can find some articles etc to show him a different way that could be great for everyone.

[Amity]

It's not 12. Depending on age and maturity, a court must consider the child's "views" regardless of age.

I have seen courts do what 8yos want. I have seen courts not do what 16yos want.

Each case is different.

You should consider doing child-inclusive mediation as well.

[RainbowRiver]

Thank you for the replies. It's never gone through court *yet* as we are able to speak on good terms and usually but out a decent parenting plan ourselves. It's just now, I'm not happy, the kids are mucking up more and more, I'm frustrated with so much with him and his parenting style...and his attitude!

His mother also likes to voice her opinion on everything and don't get me started on his DF lol

Ive considered mediation before, but never done it. I do wonder what their views would be on the care arrangement given the ages of the kids and circumstances etc

[ladybirdflies]

Divvy thanks for clarifying that. I was told 12 by our case worker at the time, I was going on that.


Rosetti contacting Relationships Australia is probably the best first step. Ask all your questions and sort out where to go next. My X and I never went to court in the end, but we found the meditation so incredibly helpful we both felt heard by our case worker. I saw her privately twice before we sent the letter to X asking him to come in for a meeting. Highly recommend it, that way new partners, parents, friends even the mailman are not in on the decisions for your children at all.